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Thread: I am a smurfing awful human being.

  1. #91
    Trial by Wombat Bubba's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unbreakable Will View Post
    I feel better with that knowledge, you are forgiven.
    I don't want your forgiveness. I want your family as my slaves.

  2. #92
    Dinner is served. Unbreakable Will's Avatar
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    Impossible, they are already owned. By me.

    Because I'm one hell of a butler.

  3. #93
    Eggstreme Wheelie Recognized Member Jiro's Avatar
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    Slave family... hmmm.

    They see me rolling. They hating, patrolling.
    Trying to catch me riding dirty.


  4. #94
    ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Tigmafuzz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shiny View Post
    One time this girl asked me if she was fat and I said yes.
    I have done this. But there's nothing wrong with being honest. She asked me if her dress made her look fat and I said "no, your FAT makes you look fat." She looked heartbroken. But she was probably somewhere between 7-9 on the so-obese-you-can-barely-stand-on-this scale so she probably shouldn't have asked in the first place.
    Face

    ส็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็༼ ຈل͜ຈ༽ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้

  5. #95
    Shlup's Retired Pimp Recognized Member Raistlin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shiny View Post
    One time this girl asked me if she was fat and I said yes.
    I do this to my little sister (who is not fat).

  6. #96
    ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Tigmafuzz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AmariaSama View Post
    WHY DOES EVERYTHING I TOUCH DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?
    Don't ever touch me.
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    ส็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็༼ ຈل͜ຈ༽ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้

  7. #97

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    I've stopped saying "God bless you" whenever my dad sneezes.
    Jack: How do you know?

    Will: It's more of a feeling really.

    Jack: Well, that's not scientific. Feeling isn't knowing. Feeling is believing. If you believe it, you can't know because there's no knowing what you believe. Then again, no one should believe what they know either. Once you know anything that anything becomes unbelievable if only by virtue of the fact you now... know it. You know?

    Will: No.

    If Demolition Man were remade today

    Huxley: What's wrong? You broke contact.
    Spartan: Contact? I didn't even touch you.
    Huxley: Don't you want to make love?
    Spartan: Is that what you call this? Why don't we just do it the old-fashioned way?
    Huxley: NO!
    Spartan: Whoa! Okay, calm down.
    Huxley: Don't tell me to calm down!
    Spartan: What's gotten into you? 'Cause it sure as hell wasn't me.
    Huxley: Physical relations in the way of intercourse are no longer acceptable John Spartan.
    Spartan: What? Why the hell not?
    Huxley: It's the law, John. And for your information, the very idea that you suggested it makes me feel personally violated.
    Spartan: Wait a minute... violated? Huxley what the hell are you accusing me of here?
    Huxley: You need to leave, John.
    Spartan: But Huxley.
    Huxley: Get out!
    Moments later Spartan is arrested for "violating" Huxley.

    By the way, that's called satire. Get over it.

  8. #98
    can we sleep now? drotato's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tigmafuzz View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by AmariaSama View Post
    WHY DOES EVERYTHING I TOUCH DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?
    Don't ever touch me.
    Why nots? Don't you wanna die?

  9. #99
    ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Tigmafuzz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AmariaSama View Post
    Why nots? Don't you wanna die?
    Not... not just yet. And not like that
    Face

    ส็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็༼ ຈل͜ຈ༽ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้

  10. #100
    can we sleep now? drotato's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tigmafuzz View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by AmariaSama View Post
    Why nots? Don't you wanna die?
    Not... not just yet. And not like that
    Oh.... Well uh.... Okay then. < . <

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