High Street Rage

[Psychotic]

I don't have this problem, because I don't live on the Benny Hill Show.

I'm confused. You're presenting this information as if it's somehow a good thing.

[Shlup]

You people have weird problems. I walk through crowds of people every day at work and have no problem with it, even though people stop me to ask a question every few feet.

[Jiro]

Bleys, it's not a direct assault with an umbrella. What happens is that they will see you walking towards them, and despite the fact you are under cover, they will move over and lower their umbrella so that it hits you in the head, potentially the face, and then they glare at you as if you were the one who walked into them.

[Raistlin]

People - people that attack you with umbrellas

Has this ever actually happened to anyone in the history of the universe? I mean, the wind is enough to damage an umbrella, why would anybody further decrease the useful life of an umbrella by using it as an assault weapon?

How does attacking someone with an umbrella work? Do they have it tucked into their belt and walk around town looking for someone who appears to be in a hurry, then tear it out and shout "Have at thee!" and attempt to stab you in the crotch with it?

I have an alternate theory: Perhaps you've never actually been assaulted with an umbrella -- perhaps you're simply insane.

Tangent that may amuse only me: there was an actual question on a US bar exam some years ago (it showed up on a practice question for me) where the correct answer was that person A hitting person B with an umbrella was sufficient provocation so that if B killed A in response, the murder charge would be downgraded to manslaughter.

Moral to the story: come to the US to kill those damn umbrella wielders.

[Sephex]

I just drive everywhere.

I just had this vision of you casually strolling your vehicle through a Best Buy or something, running over everything in your path without discretion to pick up a single video game. You lean out your window to get it off the shelf like you would at a drive thru window. You then force your vehicle through the check out line and pay for your game. You know, so you're not breaking any laws.

[Jiro]

Raistlin that is smurfing brilliant.

[Shorty]

Slow walkers irritate me, but that's about it.

The oblivious slow walkers.

[Iceglow]

Even worse the oblivious slow walking herd of tourists with trolley cases!

[sharkythesharkdogg]

Ah, yes. The group of slow walkers. Typically plump, middle aged friends walking side by side.

[Raistlin]

Raistlin that is smurfing brilliant.

I actually got that question wrong. I knew the law very well: that what would otherwise be considered murder where there is "sufficient provocation" (generally discovering adultery) is downgraded to manslaughter. But I thought "there is absolutely no way being smacked with an umbrella by a little old lady [oh yes, it was a little old lady in the fact scenario] is sufficient provocation." Apparently those umbrella attacks are much more serious than I thought.

[Faris]

Oh crowded areas how I loathe thee, let me count the ways...

[insert mile long rant]