Originally Posted by
sharkythesharkdogg
Well Bleys, there's two methods I know of.
Majority of the time, it's an attack by someone shorter than you are (so ladies, especially, pay attention.)
If it's not raining at the moment, some people like to carry their umbrella around across their shoulder like it's a rifle. This is also the same person who will stop randomly so you walk into the back of their umbrella and lose an eye.
This person also likes to back into a crowded shop/elevator/subway and then proceed to turn 180-360 degrees, attempting to achieve the maximum amount of ocular damage possible to those around them. Bonus points for being on a cell phone, because they cast rude looks at the person screaming in pain because they were just jabbed in the neck with an umbrella. You're being loud and they're trying to talk on the phone!
Method two involves the umbrella being deployed into it's "attack foil" position, for maximum blood letting. The metal rods at the end of the umbrella became skewers seeking out eyes, hoop earings, necklaces, nostrils, and a myriad of other options.
The shorter person is oblivious to the carnage going on above them as the umbrella acts as a sheild from all the blood and gasps of agony as those around them are eviscerated in different manners.