Let's Play Castlevania: Aria of Sorrow!

[Edge7]

PART ONE: What a Horrible Night to Get C**kblocked!

I think the best thing to do would be to describe the opening scene in text, because using screenshots looks somewhat sloppy, especially since the text sometimes gets lost in the background, or on our main hero’s sprite.

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Like so.

So the main concept of the scene is our main hero climbing a stairway to a shrine. A lone bat constantly stalks him as he makes his way to the shrine at the top. The scrolling text reads as follows:

“The year is 2035.
Japan.
Crowds of spectators are gathering around in anticipation of the first full solar eclipse of the twenty-first century.
My name is Soma Cruz, and I am a high school exchange student studying abroad in Japan.
I live near the Hakuba Shrine, an ancient shrine with strong ties to Japanese mythology.
Mina Hakuba, the only daughter of the shrine's caretaker, is both my classmate and my childhood friend.
I started making my way to the shrine to see the solar eclipse with Mina. But, for some strange reason, the stairway leading up to the shrine felt longer than usual, as if something was trying to keep us from our destination.
When I finally managed to get through the shrine gate, and my senses began to dim...
The pitch black sun is holding chaotic darkness together, trying to rouse a sleeping soul as if looking for its missing other half...”

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And with that, our story is ready to begin.

By the way, if you couldn’t tell, this localization isn’t the hottest. I underlined and bolded everything I don’t like. Soma’s a foreign exchange student now? Who decided that one, 4kids? Alright, I suppose it would make sense for someone with a Spanish last name to come from a European background (haha, “Cruz is Spanish for “cross”). The European background would also add credibility to other aspects of the plot, but I won’t go there… yet. Second of all, if you’re going to make Soma European, why continue to make Mina his childhood friend? That confused the hell out of me as a kid. Also, I have to laugh at Soma’s attempt at poetry waxing. That trout’s deep.

But enough of this bull-shigginshat, we got a game to play!
And what awesome way are we going to start this Castlvania game? An epic stare-down between our main hero and the castle? Praying in front of a Cross despite having every reason to want to renounce God due to a life in exile? Getting ambushed by Death while riding a carriage to save a burning village? Running at breakneck speeds through the forest, and leaping into the castle?

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Our hero, ladies and gents…
Symphony of the Night: 1, Aria of Sorrow: 0
…Sigh.

Everybody, let me formally introduce you to our hero, Soma Cruz. Suffice it to say he’s nowhere near as awesome as Alucard or ANY of the Belmonts… yet.
More on that later.

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It’s at this point we’re introduced to this rather striking fellow (who happens to be slightly more masculine than Soma)

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Oh, by the way, this is Soma’s friend, Mina. She’s basically useless. Also, I believe the translators went to the Squaresoft academy of ellipses abuse.

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I stand by my theory.

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Way to dodge the bullet Soma. We all know what you wanted; hell, it’s like Teddie from P4 puts it:
"A couple walking together at a festival...Unused to wearing it, the girl's yukata comes loose...Summer has begun."
You crazy kids!

(By the way, I’ll use italics either when I want to stress something, or when I’m talking to the characters directly)

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You can use “we’re” Soma; it helps with sentence flow.

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Even assuming Arikado was being sarcastic, Soma is WAY too defensive. With a sense of humor like that, I’d love to see him at parties.

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Lighten up man!

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Wow Arikado, how’d you let this ambush escalate so quickly?