Wasp Award Recipient 2012

[Unbreakable Will]

Whilst watching The Walking Dead, a random wasp barreled into our den tonight. As you know, wasps are put on this earth for the sole reason of smurfing trout UP. This wasp decided it wanted to duke it out with our fan; the fan got a good number of hits in and smacked the wasp around the room at least four or five times, the wasp decided to retaliate by getting out of it's wheelhouse range and landing on the top siding then proceeded to STING THE GODDAMN METAL SIDING for a good five minutes.
Feeling sorry for the fan I decided to switch it off and grab the industrial sized flyswatter from the kitchen, I smacked the hell out of that thing while it was in mid-air, it hit the wall, fell on a chair where I smacked it once more.
IT GOT THE smurf UP AND TRIED TO STING ME! So I smushed it into the floor where it finally breathed its last.

A moment of silence for this skilled, relentless warrior.

Tell your wasp stories.

[Araciel]

I've smacked every wasp I've met ever.

They all died or flew away or fell on the ground then died.

[Shorty]

Hairspray! ZING

Nobody wins against hairspray.

[Jiro]

Don't have an issue with wasps. They stay out of my way, I stay out of theirs. Easy.

[Iceglow]

crush injuries are probably the worst way to kill a wasp to end a problem, their stings like bees emit a pheromone what attracts other bees and wasps to a threat making them more aggressive. This is why Shorty is the only person in this room who answered partially correct.

Using crush injuries to deal with wasps is like picking a fight with Russia in ww2. It didn't work for Hitler and it doesn't work well for you either.

[Jiro]

This is why Shiny is the only person in this room who answered partially correct.

[Faris]

This one time at band camp, we cooked our meals in a large gazeebo thing. At first we were unaware of wasp nests but then decided to smoke them out and eat meals before they caught scent of it. One day during a pre-hike-or-something meeting a wasp decided that it wanted to take revenge on the child with the biggest thighs. I got stung and smacked that smurfer then proceeded to scream like the little girl I was.

Around home I see ones with fairly long bodies and stingers. Those are scary looking mothersmurfers and they like to dance around my window during the summer.

[drotato]

That wasp was.... Crazy. He was so pissed off. I think maybe his girlfriend might have broken up with him, so he wanted to take it out on something and smurf trout up.

[~*~Celes~*~]

I hate wasps with a passion, but over the summer, I had an amusing encounter with one.

We had a wasp that had been hanging out by our back door where Andrew has this motion activated prop from a former movie theater display set up so we can tell when people walk up to the door. We hadn't heard it go off all summer until this mothersmurfer showed up. Andrew looked out the window and THERE HE WAS AND HE WAS HUGE.

A week or so later after we'd forgotten about it, someone had left the back door open and the wasp made its way in. I was the only one to see it, as Andrew and his dad were preoccupied. I watched as it flew into the house, through the dining room into the living room where we were, then just made its way out the front door onto the enclosed porch. It amused me almost as much as it scared the living jeebus out of me, as it really was HUGE. I clung to Andrew for dear life, watching it. Andrew had no idea of course so he thought i was suddenly being very affectionate and kissed me and hugged me and i just sat there whimpering like WTF DUDE.

Finally Andrew took his headphones off and I told him so he got up and did the smart thing: opened the door to the porch farther so he could look at it. When he saw how scary it was, he finally closed the door. His younger sister happened to show up at this point with her two little ones and SHE was the one to kill the wasp with the wasp spray because Andrew is a little girl just like i am.

[Hollycat]

One time I saw one flying towards me quickly without realising what it was I threw up my hand and caught it instinctively and got stung for my trouble so I threw him on the ground and squished him the end.

[Unbreakable Will]

I hate wasps with a passion, but over the summer, I had an amusing encounter with one.

We had a wasp that had been hanging out by our back door where Andrew has this motion activated prop from a former movie theater display set up so we can tell when people walk up to the door. We hadn't heard it go off all summer until this mothersmurfer showed up. Andrew looked out the window and THERE HE WAS AND HE WAS HUGE.

A week or so later after we'd forgotten about it, someone had left the back door open and the wasp made its way in. I was the only one to see it, as Andrew and his dad were preoccupied. I watched as it flew into the house, through the dining room into the living room where we were, then just made its way out the front door onto the enclosed porch. It amused me almost as much as it scared the living jeebus out of me, as it really was HUGE. I clung to Andrew for dear life, watching it. Andrew had no idea of course so he thought i was suddenly being very affectionate and kissed me and hugged me and i just sat there whimpering like WTF DUDE.

Finally Andrew took his headphones off and I told him so he got up and did the smart thing: opened the door to the porch farther so he could look at it. When he saw how scary it was, he finally closed the door. His younger sister happened to show up at this point with her two little ones and SHE was the one to kill the wasp with the wasp spray because Andrew is a little girl just like i am.

Holy trout!

[Hollycat]

One time I was walking through the old Las Vegas Wasteland, and I saw a cave off the side of the road, so I went inside to check it out, and I walked all the way through it, picking up some snacks and chips and nuka cola, and then I went back outside, savoring my treats, only to find myself face to face with a four foot long giant black tarantula hawk! I quickly pulled out my trusty weathered 10mm and unloaded a clip into its face, only for him to keep coming at me, more angry than ever, so I ran away as fast as I could in the opposite direction, all the while dropping mines. Suddenly I felt a sharp pain in my back, and suddenly, it was if my whole body was on fire, and I could barely move. Knowing it was either fight back or die, I turned around and fired my last bullet right into one of the wasps eyes. He fluttered for a moment, and then fell down dead.
Relieved I lay on the ground panting, unaware that the poison was still hurting me. Roughly three seconds after laying down, I died.

Then I loaded an old save and went on my merry way.

Here is a picture of the average tarantula hawk, and the picture I took of the beast I killed.
Just When I Thought it Was Safe to Wander the Wasteland... - Cheezburger

[Quindiana Jones]

I had a mate in secondary school who had the worst hand-eye coordination ever. He sucked at basically every sport requiring such a skill, and it was always hilarious. One time, however, he showed us that he was actually an indomitable ninja put on this Earth for only one purpose: the humiliation and destruction of wasps.

So, it's lunch time and we're all sat about eating food. He has soup. In flies a wasp, which starts buzzing around, annoying everyone. My mate continues eating his soup and bides his time. Finally, the wasp flies in front of him.

It was the last mistake that wasp would ever make.

Quick as a flash, the guy picks up his spoon and raps the wasp with it, the way you would a disobedient child dog. The wasp drops, motionless, into his soup. Without missing a beat, my friend picks up a bit of bread, scoops the wasp up in and pops the whole thing in his mouth. xD

We all just sat there, astonished. Not only had he displayed lightning fast reflexes with extreme accuracy, but he also ate a wasp to assert his dominance.

[Citizen Bleys]

Don't have an issue with wasps. They stay out of my way, I stay out of theirs. Easy.

Honeybees will leave you alone if you leave them alone. Do you think the ceiling fan in the OP picked a fight with a wasp? No. It's a freaking ceiling fan.

Wasps are aggressive monsters born directly in the city of Pandemonium within the blackest depths of Hell. They will pick a fight with an inanimate object.

[Shorty]

Honeybees are sweethearts and just want to spread the nectar of love.