When I am absurdly drunk or taking a sleeping pill, I am absolutely convinced that cats can actually understand English. They just act like they don't because they will break some secret pact with some higher cat authority. Kind of why I think the Toys in Toy Story can't move in front of humans.
So I have a very talkative cat (anyone who has checked out any of my video game livestreams can confirm this). When I get that way, my cat will be meowing at me, and I will say, "I know your secret. I know you can speak English. Our lives will both be easier if you just break the pact!"
She then proceeds to piss as loudly as possible against of the side of the cat pan.
She knows.
I talk to my cat because she's one of the few creatures that doesn't send me into a blinding murderous rage. It doesn't help that whenever I talk to her, she meows back and tilts her head in a very cute way.
I've had conversations with my cat, Jack. We just meow back and forth. I don't know what we're talking about, though.
Yeah I figured it was one of those "weird" things that just everybody does.
I just talk to my cat in Swahili. I thought everyone did this?
I give my cat food so it'll stop its bitching.
I beg to differ. I have a Newfoundland and not only does he scratch and constantly want your hand in his mouth, he also throws jabs and hooks. My lhasa Apsa and my Golden Retriever don't do either but at 150+lbs the newfie can do some damage if you aren't ready/paying attention.
and yeah Mirage is right. My buddies cat will go berserk on your hand/arm but it's fun as hell to play with him. Just gotta wear proper protection!
I meow at cats even if they haven't done it first. That's just how polite and cat friendly I am.
Both of the cats are pretty whiny, though in different ways. The one always wants to go outside so we have more full-on conversations because she's always meowing. The other one always begs for food so I usually pick her up and cradle her like a baby, which she hates, even though she's totally acting like one.
Holy trout I'm not the only one who does this?
I pretty much make every noise and animal makes back at them. I'm fluent in noises. Even termite.