Originally Posted by
Citizen Bleys
Sacrifice himself to save the world
Everybody wants to save the world, but does anyone at EoFF have what it takes to be an hero? Let's have a look at our candidates:
Bunny
Are you smurfing kidding me? If anyone at EoFF can be said to be a hate singularity, it is Bunny. He is far more likely to sacrifice the world to save himself, and laugh while it burns. I'm not entirely certain that Bunny would sacrifice a muffin to save the world. (Unless it's raisin, because seriously, smurf raisins.)
I'm my own MILF
"I am about to take my last voyage, a great leap in the dark." ~ Thomas Hobbes.
Thing is, the only leap into the dark Hux will take is to leap off a burning ship after pushing orphans, women, and the elderly into the hungry, all-consuming flames. If Hux is going to sacrifice himself for anything, it would be for the triumph of everlasting evil.
Jiro
OK, I'll give you this one. It looks likely because Jiro acts all super-nice to everyone, all of the time. But stop to think -- when the cards are laid out, and the world is burning, would he truly sacrifice himself instead of a bus full of nuns? I think not.
Laddy
Hahahahahahaha, you have got to be kidding. Whoever nominated Laddy misread the category as "Sacrifice someone else to save the world." But how did multiple people make the same mistake? Easy -- reading comprehension in the modern world has been on a steep decline since the late 80s now that teachers aren't allowed to use corporal punishment to motivate their students to learn.
Peegee
"Capitalists are no more capable of self-sacrifice than a man is capable of lifting himself up by his own bootstraps." ~ V.I. Lenin
Have you read any of PG's Facebook/EoFF blog posts? I haven't either. Still, even skimming past them is enough to know that PG is so fastidiously pro-capitalism that the shade of J.D. Rockefeller is screaming "Woah there, calm down."
Rantz
The only thing Rantz could be relied upon to do in the event of a zombie apocalypse would be to make fun of the zombies as they chew on the bloody ruin that used to be your face.
Yep, we're screwed.