Ciddies XXIII: Winner Revelations Thread

[Jiro]

For you today EoFF, I am pondering with my ponderer extra hard to try and figure out what makes any post the best and what it is that makes a post limit break? To my understanding limit break occurs after several hits, so all our nominees must be black and blue and about to omnislash, dolphin punch, or play some slots on our asses. Guess that means we should all be cautious when passing Sephex, Citizen Bleys, Miriel, DK, Jowy, Rantz, Jiro, and chionos.

Oh wait, limit breaks get filled here when we rep them. Silly me, this changes everything! Well EoFF, these are the types of posts that we love and cherish:

• Renditions of popular songs made better being rewritten in FF form

I'm already missing our time together
Like our show back at the Golden Saucer
Told myself that I was not crazy
Resembled Zack in your company
Mako poisioning makes it hard to remember

Your trip to the Lifestream makes me feel sadness
Grinding for Great Gospel now does end, now it does end
So when I mistook you for the slum drunk
In Sector 5 surrounded by junk
But I was impressed by your bed of flowers

But you didn't have to kill her off
Flew right down and stuck the Masamune right through her stomach
And now you're sending out Jenova Life
But she's treating me like a puppet and that ain't right
Now the first disc ends so low
Gamer friends trying to cheat her back and then change the code
I guess she just won't come back though
Now she's the flower girl I used to know

Now she's the flower girl I used to know



Now and then I think of all the times we shared with her
But you had me believing your guilt would be over and gone
But she would not want it that way
Feeling miserable night and day
I wish you would just let it go
And I wouldn't catch you hung up on the flower girl you used to know



But you didn't have to kill her off
Flew right down and stuck the Masamune right through her stomach
And now you're sending out Jenova Life
But she's treating me like a puppet and that ain't right
Now the first disc ends so low
Gamer friends trying to cheat her back and then change the code
I guess she just won't come back though
Now she's the flower girl I used to know

Now she's the flower girl I used to know

Seriously, new theme song for FFVII right there.

• Finding out what we never want to hear while traveling

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your Captain speaking. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."

This post made the moon turn bloody! FEAR BLEYS


• Seeing precious moments in the lives of our fellow members.

As for Del, he could have easily paid for a generic black suit for far less than Armani. I don't see anything special about that suit.

Photos really don't do it justice. A generic black suit is meh. Del Murder had a custom tailored suit that looked siiiiiick in person. Pretty sure he got more compliments than I did on the day. Seriously.

It looked & felt spectacular. Plus, Del Murder is a baller. If he's gonna have a suit, might as well be Armani!



My dress was super simple in the front:



My bridesmaid dresses, I told them to pick out whatever they wanted in the same color palette and all my girls looked amazing:


Bouquet:


Lizzie!


Lizzie and Charlie! Look how handsome they are:


I designed and printed all our invites, escort cards, menu, etc.



Food! Unfortunately nobody got great shots of the main entree which was korean braised short ribs. We also had garlic mashed potatoes, mushroom ravioli in sage butter sauce, panzanella salad, and market grilled veggies.


And Pinkberry delivered froyo in addition to the cakes and donuts we had:


The venue:


We had an awesome photobooth:


One of my bridesmaids HAND MADE this light fixture for us. Took her weeks:


Side face!


One more faceless picture:


There was also a zebra:

All further moments should always but do not need to contain headless Del Murders and Zebras.


• …Poop stories

No sorry Paul it's got to come out. if only because it is brilliant and he needs to learn to get over it and look back and laugh. Here's how it went down.

We were all having one of our own little eyeson meetups in the UK, and we had all decided to go out for dinner one night and then we'd planned to go out afterwards for a lad's night out and get Steve to help us pull some ladies in. We were all dressed up to the nines, nice shirts, jeans, fresh shoes the whole lot. Anyway we went to this pretty fancy restaurant for our meal, italian place, we had a nice table outside as it was a warm summer evening and as we were planning to make it a glory night we decided we were going to go all out and have three full courses. Our boy Steve had actually been on rare form that night, he was cracking the jokes left and right, throwing out a couple of quality anecdotes and every time this one hot waitress went past, Paul will know the one I mean (brunette, skirt far too short for her legs), he was busting out the charm and she was feeling it.

It was going great all round. But then, for some reason, after we'd all finished our starters, Steve just kind of shut down. He stopped talking pretty much and kind of just sat there with an annoyed grimace on his face and he basically started chain smoking, I think he got through two packs of twenty by the time we were ready to leave. No one really knew what was wrong with him and we didn't really want to say anything to him in case his mood worsened but we didn't know what to do. I thought that he must have gotten some bad food or something but didn't want to make a scene at the restaurant because he's a cool guy like that. Anyway like I said we were all done so we had to get up and go but Steve started making a fuss about it and said he wasn't in the mood to go anywhere. Man he was just bugging out. The rest of us wanted to go though and we started just having a little moan at him about it, something I will always regret doing, because he eventually just gave in and got up. If you're wondering where this is going, it basically turns out that after the starters were done Steve had a little accident and kinda crapped himself, and had just been sitting there ever since in a bad mood. What the smurf were we supposed to do? I will never in my life forget the sight of Steve pushing the restaurant door open and a tiny little nugget of poo rolling down the leg of his trousers and onto the floor as he walked out. It was, and remains, hilarious and I hope that time has healed his wounds enough that he can laugh at this now. I know I am.

This was the year of food and poop. ...How old are we, 1?


• Calling someone out about the size of their penis

Your instructions weren't clear enough and now my house is underwater.

I got my dick stuck in the search bar

google search bar is kind of small, i wouldn't publically admit that

Seriously Josh, you walked right into that one but thanks for letting us know. It’s okay though, there’s a solution for that! Expect an offer for it in the mail (check your junk mail!) soon.

• An Aussie joke

Jiro and blackmage_nuke walk into a bar. The bartender goes, "Hey, you're Jiro, ain't ya! Last time you were here you asked my wife to blow your long Australian horn!"

blackmage_nuke thinks to himself: "What didjirodo!?"

Yeah what didjirodo


• Collaboration and hard work of our fellow members

This is the result of many hours of tireless work by a dedicated team of voice actors with a simple goal: dub the greatest fanfic ever written. Born of Del Murder's mind, this project out grew him and soon came to be the love child of numerous EoFFers. I present the fruits of Project Lovehurts...

Join in this thread to see your work brought to life in the next instalment, and keep an eye out for sign ups for Chapter 2.

If you haven’t watched it yet, stop what you’re doing and watch it NOW. Our slaves fellow members have worked very hard on this.


• Puns upon puns of FF dialogue!

Barret: "Welcome to my bar, suckas. Whatcha havin?"
Edgar: "Celes wants a beer."
Barret: "I ain't givin' no girl a beer."
Cloud: "You heard the man. Steiner."
Barret: "I don't know what you're Sabin."
Celes: "Nevermind, I'll just have a Mog of ale."
Barret: "Ale? Kuja ask for somethin' I got?"
Sephiroth: "Why can't you Celes what we're asking for?"
Barret: "What the hell are you doing in my bar!? I'll chocobo itch!"
Sephiroth: "Choke this, fat boy."
Barret: "I Vaan you to get the hell out of my bar."
Sephiroth: "Right after I Ramza glass down your throat."
Cloud: "Hold on a minute. Didn't I kill you? Who are you really?"
Sephka: "Uwee-hee-hee! I'm back, bitches! Now Alma destroy them all!"
Celes: "Not again! Barret, why did you Locke the door!?"
Barret: "I locked it Sahz nobody could get out."
Cloud: "You. You're not Barret. You're Zemus!"
Zemus: "Ah, you saw through my disguise. I Kain see you're surprised."
Celes: "Well yeah, you're kind of a boring End Boss. Kefka's so much cooler."
Kefka: "Yeah, son of a submariner, you're more like a Zeromus. Uwee-hee-hee."
Zemus: "I'll show you Zeromus. I'll burn this city to Ashe."
Edgar: "Ha-ha, that the best you got? C'mon it's late, let's finish this Umaro."
Zeromus: "No! Everything must die tonight!"
Kefka: "Yes! Burn everything."
Zeromus: "Shut up Kefka."
Kefka: "Wha? Yuna want my help?"
Zeromus: "No. Now Tifa, get on the floor."
Cloud: "Auron my d-"
Tifa: "Cloud!"
Edgar: "Yeah, Wakka hell, man. She's going home with me tonight."
Zeromus: "Silence! Quistis nonsense. Zell be hell to pay if you cannot be silent."
Kefka: " 'Zell be hell to pay' hee-hee, good one Zebus."
Zeromus: "It's Zeromus, curr. Now, I find myself in the predicament of Irvine to piss. Can you keep an eye on the prisoners, Kefka? Can you do that one little thing?"
Kefka: "They'll be Seifer with me than with anyone else in the world, Lord Zeromus."
Zeromus: "Good, now Cloud, can you Lenna hand and direct me to your water closet."
Cloud: "Garnet man, what's a water closet?"
Zeromus: "The facilities, a restroom, a damn water closet boy!"
Cloud: "I'm Freya can't help you, Mr. Mus. The bar doesn't have a pisser. Quina tell you what you should do?"
Zeromus: "If it's helpful, certainly, and be quick about it."
Cloud: "Okay, just lean in close here...closer...that's good enough..."
OMNISLASH
Kefka: "Uwee-hee-hee-hee-uwee-hee-hee-hee-hee."
Cloud: "Setzer weapons down Kefka. I won't say it twice."
Kefka: "Hee-hee, Gogo warp!"
*fizzle*
Cloud: "Cid down, clown. You're not going anywhere."

I can hardly Barret!


Congratulations to all the nominees! The rest of us should seek help and stronger equipment.