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Thread: What is the most horrible present you've received for Christmas?

  1. 12-10-2012, 02:34 AM #1
    Mercen-X
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    Default What is the most horrible present you've received for Christmas?

    Granted, what I'm about to mention weren't INTENDED as gifts, but a good gift would have been their DELAY at best.

    Two years ago, my girlfriend broke up with me on Christmas day. Yay me...

    Today, just a couple of weeks before Christmas, my ex tells me she's off galavanting (Translation: how does one put casual sex nicely?) with some dipshet. Honestly, it wouldn't bother me if the girl wasn't now like family to me and she basically tells me herself that the guy is a total fink. Also, my ex wasn't and, if her demeanor is any indication, still isn't that girl the casual sex type.

    Depressed sigh.

    So! Anybody got something to top that, eh? Who among you FFers can offer worse?

    I'm pretty certain this thread will remain empty.
    Jack: How do you know?

    Will: It's more of a feeling really.

    Jack: Well, that's not scientific. Feeling isn't knowing. Feeling is believing. If you believe it, you can't know because there's no knowing what you believe. Then again, no one should believe what they know either. Once you know anything that anything becomes unbelievable if only by virtue of the fact you now... know it. You know?

    Will: No.

    If Demolition Man were remade today

    Huxley: What's wrong? You broke contact.
    Spartan: Contact? I didn't even touch you.
    Huxley: Don't you want to make love?
    Spartan: Is that what you call this? Why don't we just do it the old-fashioned way?
    Huxley: NO!
    Spartan: Whoa! Okay, calm down.
    Huxley: Don't tell me to calm down!
    Spartan: What's gotten into you? 'Cause it sure as hell wasn't me.
    Huxley: Physical relations in the way of intercourse are no longer acceptable John Spartan.
    Spartan: What? Why the hell not?
    Huxley: It's the law, John. And for your information, the very idea that you suggested it makes me feel personally violated.
    Spartan: Wait a minute... violated? Huxley what the hell are you accusing me of here?
    Huxley: You need to leave, John.
    Spartan: But Huxley.
    Huxley: Get out!
    Moments later Spartan is arrested for "violating" Huxley.

    By the way, that's called satire. Get over it.
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  2. 12-10-2012, 02:52 AM #2
    Jinx
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    Someone's having a major "I am still not over this girl" pity-party, tonight.
    Quote Originally Posted by Fynn View Post
    Jinx you are absolutely smurfing insane. Never change.
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  3. 12-10-2012, 02:59 AM #3
    Mercen-X
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    Aye, yeh meh be on teh summon tere, lass! But still: Christmas!
    Jack: How do you know?

    Will: It's more of a feeling really.

    Jack: Well, that's not scientific. Feeling isn't knowing. Feeling is believing. If you believe it, you can't know because there's no knowing what you believe. Then again, no one should believe what they know either. Once you know anything that anything becomes unbelievable if only by virtue of the fact you now... know it. You know?

    Will: No.

    If Demolition Man were remade today

    Huxley: What's wrong? You broke contact.
    Spartan: Contact? I didn't even touch you.
    Huxley: Don't you want to make love?
    Spartan: Is that what you call this? Why don't we just do it the old-fashioned way?
    Huxley: NO!
    Spartan: Whoa! Okay, calm down.
    Huxley: Don't tell me to calm down!
    Spartan: What's gotten into you? 'Cause it sure as hell wasn't me.
    Huxley: Physical relations in the way of intercourse are no longer acceptable John Spartan.
    Spartan: What? Why the hell not?
    Huxley: It's the law, John. And for your information, the very idea that you suggested it makes me feel personally violated.
    Spartan: Wait a minute... violated? Huxley what the hell are you accusing me of here?
    Huxley: You need to leave, John.
    Spartan: But Huxley.
    Huxley: Get out!
    Moments later Spartan is arrested for "violating" Huxley.

    By the way, that's called satire. Get over it.
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  4. 12-10-2012, 03:01 AM #4
    The Summoner of Leviathan
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    Syphilis.

    On a more serious note, not so much a present as I spent the last few Christmases alone without being able to see my family. Sucks big time, but then I just gamed or got laid. Made everything all better.

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  5. 12-10-2012, 03:01 AM #5
    Tigmafuzz
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    If she's having casual sex with some "fink," she probably isn't someone to be depressed over.

    I haven't gotten any present that I would consider horrible. Everything I've ever received as a gift has meant a lot to me, even if only because I'm not used to having gifts in the first place.
    Face

    ส็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็༼ ຈل͜ຈ༽ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้
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  6. 12-10-2012, 03:05 AM #6
    Mirage
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mercen-X View Post
    Granted, what I'm about to mention weren't INTENDED as gifts, but a good gift would have been their DELAY at best.

    Two years ago, my girlfriend broke up with me on Christmas day. Yay me...

    Today, just a couple of weeks before Christmas, my ex tells me she's off galavanting (Translation: how does one put casual sex nicely?) with some dipshet. Honestly, it wouldn't bother me if the girl wasn't now like family to me and she basically tells me herself that the guy is a total fink. Also, my ex wasn't and, if her demeanor is any indication, still isn't that girl the casual sex type.

    Depressed sigh.

    So! Anybody got something to top that, eh? Who among you FFers can offer worse?

    I'm pretty certain this thread will remain empty.
    Would you rather she waited with telling you until february or something, while still doing that dude regularly?
    everything is wrapped in gray
    i'm focusing on your image
    can you hear me in the void?
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  7. 12-10-2012, 03:05 AM #7
    Balzac
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    inb4 my mum/dad/relative died.
    You hold my heart in your manly hands I wanna feel the throb of your handsome gland. I wanna hold you tight like a newborn kitten, against my flesh like a cashmere mitten. Tickly tick, I'm makin' skin bump heaven and all the way down it's lookin' cleanly shaven. Prickety pricks, it's stubble on stubble I better slow down or I'm in real trouble. Want you, touch you, feel you, taste you! Knick knack whacky whack 'till I see the man stew. spin you around let me see that hole! I'm a tunnelin' in a like a short hair mole. Once I'm inside I'm gonna leave a trace, half in there and half on that face! One finger, two finger, there fingers gone! Mano a mano I love you John!
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  8. 12-10-2012, 03:16 AM #8
    Mercen-X
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    Sorry for your loss

    Quote Originally Posted by Mirage View Post
    Would you rather she waited with telling you until february or something, while still doing that dude regularly?
    . .. ... yes.
    Jack: How do you know?

    Will: It's more of a feeling really.

    Jack: Well, that's not scientific. Feeling isn't knowing. Feeling is believing. If you believe it, you can't know because there's no knowing what you believe. Then again, no one should believe what they know either. Once you know anything that anything becomes unbelievable if only by virtue of the fact you now... know it. You know?

    Will: No.

    If Demolition Man were remade today

    Huxley: What's wrong? You broke contact.
    Spartan: Contact? I didn't even touch you.
    Huxley: Don't you want to make love?
    Spartan: Is that what you call this? Why don't we just do it the old-fashioned way?
    Huxley: NO!
    Spartan: Whoa! Okay, calm down.
    Huxley: Don't tell me to calm down!
    Spartan: What's gotten into you? 'Cause it sure as hell wasn't me.
    Huxley: Physical relations in the way of intercourse are no longer acceptable John Spartan.
    Spartan: What? Why the hell not?
    Huxley: It's the law, John. And for your information, the very idea that you suggested it makes me feel personally violated.
    Spartan: Wait a minute... violated? Huxley what the hell are you accusing me of here?
    Huxley: You need to leave, John.
    Spartan: But Huxley.
    Huxley: Get out!
    Moments later Spartan is arrested for "violating" Huxley.

    By the way, that's called satire. Get over it.
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  9. 12-10-2012, 04:18 AM #9
    Futan
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    Jesus seems to have a running joke with me getting sick, injured or having some other health related issue on or around Christmas. Probably at least 6 of my Christmas' this has happened. None recently though! (SPOILER)Just jynxed myself.

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  10. 12-10-2012, 04:44 AM #10
    Mirage
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    Really? You've still got two weeks until christmas eve.
    everything is wrapped in gray
    i'm focusing on your image
    can you hear me in the void?
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  11. 12-10-2012, 05:42 PM #11
    Shorty
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    When I was twelve and long grown out of Barbies, I got a big box with an entire set of Barbies for Christmas from my aunt.

    It wasn't horrible, just disappointing. I was looking forward to opening that box with my name on it the whole night.

    (I felt bad for not appreciating it, though.)
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  12. 12-10-2012, 06:18 PM #12
    escobert
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    Once my brother gave me a Mcdonalds application -_-

    My other brother got an empty box by accident once!
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  13. 12-10-2012, 06:29 PM #13
    Denmark
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    man one year i got a video game and I opened it up and the disc wasn't in the thing! so the next day we had to go out to best buy and exchange it

    worst christmas ever
    hidely-ho
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  14. 12-10-2012, 09:36 PM #14
    Mercen-X
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    My aunt got me a game for my 18th birthday that had the wrong disc in it. (It's okay for the OP to be OT)
    Jack: How do you know?

    Will: It's more of a feeling really.

    Jack: Well, that's not scientific. Feeling isn't knowing. Feeling is believing. If you believe it, you can't know because there's no knowing what you believe. Then again, no one should believe what they know either. Once you know anything that anything becomes unbelievable if only by virtue of the fact you now... know it. You know?

    Will: No.

    If Demolition Man were remade today

    Huxley: What's wrong? You broke contact.
    Spartan: Contact? I didn't even touch you.
    Huxley: Don't you want to make love?
    Spartan: Is that what you call this? Why don't we just do it the old-fashioned way?
    Huxley: NO!
    Spartan: Whoa! Okay, calm down.
    Huxley: Don't tell me to calm down!
    Spartan: What's gotten into you? 'Cause it sure as hell wasn't me.
    Huxley: Physical relations in the way of intercourse are no longer acceptable John Spartan.
    Spartan: What? Why the hell not?
    Huxley: It's the law, John. And for your information, the very idea that you suggested it makes me feel personally violated.
    Spartan: Wait a minute... violated? Huxley what the hell are you accusing me of here?
    Huxley: You need to leave, John.
    Spartan: But Huxley.
    Huxley: Get out!
    Moments later Spartan is arrested for "violating" Huxley.

    By the way, that's called satire. Get over it.
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  15. 12-10-2012, 10:07 PM #15
    Aulayna
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    Don't think I've ever had bad Christmas presents - always been thankful just to get something.

    Oh wait, that's not what this thread is about is it.

    Nevermind

    Actually to one-up your own pity party.

    I haven't actually had Christmas presents for the past 4 years. I've also worked every Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, Boxing Day and New Years for the past 6 years. I don't really have much in the way of family I can go back too for Christmas.

    So yeah stick that in your girl troubles pipe and smoke it!

    (Oh and yes before any asks I am being serious here.)
    Last edited by Aulayna; 12-10-2012 at 10:19 PM.

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