Monkeys Paw round 3.

[Hollycat]

Grant a wish, then make one. Just be careful how you word it. You might find your greatest desire turned into a nightmare.


I wish I was taller.

[Tigmafuzz]

Granted. You're 7 miles tall and therefore cannot get enough oxygen to sustain yourself and die very quickly, along with half of Asia because you stole their air.

I wish I had enchiladas.

[Faris]

Granted! They're the last ones though and everyone started to crave them at the same time and are now knocking on your door!

I wish I had an aquarium of exotic fish.

[Citizen Bleys]

Granted! The mobsters they were stolen from have now marked you for death.

I wish I were moderately smarter.

[Tigmafuzz]

Granted. You alienate yourself from those whose stupidity you cannot tolerate, and live the lonely, cynical, and depressing life of those with above average intellect, while not being able to contribute anything relatively important to science or humanity without even a slightly higher intellect, what with only being moderately smarter than you were. Thus you die alone, and full of regret.

I wish I lived in the forties so I could be in movies with Danny Kaye and Bing Crosby and Bob Hope.

[Goldenboko]

Granted! However you are drafted into World War II.

I wish my wish upon my worst enemy, so he would bear it's misfortune instead of me.

[Tigmafuzz]

Granted. Your worst enemy wishes that he were a giant chimpanzee, so he could beat you to death and smother you with his feces, which he promptly does. He then loses a bout with a new disease that only affects chimpanzees.

I wish I had a banana.

[Citizen Bleys]

Granted! You choke to death on your banana and the footage is used in a viral porn video.

I wish everyone else were moderately smarter.

[Tigmafuzz]

Granted. With more people having the courage (and ability) to think for themselves, eventually all world leaders agree that they should spread the message to help people see the folly of pushing religion on their children after learning that they can teach morals and ethics in more efficient ways with less repercussions and realize that religion offers absolutely nothing positive that we cannot otherwise achieve in a progressive intellectual modern society, we enter a platinum age of scientific enlightenment, the world becomes a grand utopia, and within twenty years there are absolutely no more questions left to answer. The unheard-of levels of technological advancement result in the discovery that we truly are alone in the universe, and allow us the capability of transporting ourselves to other worlds for colonization, but what's the point when there's obviously no god, no other beings to make contact with, no way to improve ourselves any longer after having completely revolutionized human thinking, and no higher purpose for our existence? When there's nothing we can do but live with the unsavory knowledge of our insignificance until the end of the universe sweeps us all away? Good job, you've destroyed all the mystery and wonder of life, and are considered to be the secular equivalent of "the antichrist" by all remaining generations of humanity, of which there are very few, because of the insane suicide rates you've caused. Also you're now one of the dumbest men alive. Ya jerk.

I wish I had better things to do than visit this site while in the hospital.

[The Summoner of Leviathan]

Granted. They discovered that you have one day to live, yet sadly you cannot leave the hospital because you are now chained to a hospital bed because your condition has left you insane and liable to all those around you.

I wish I could finally find the right man.

[Tigmafuzz]

Granted. You live happily together for three months until you come home from work one day to find your house has been struck by a small meteorite and destroyed only your bedroom, with him in it. You grieve for the next five years and eventually die of takotsubo cardiomyopathy.

I wish there were more pre-FFX Final Fantasy games to play.

[The Summoner of Leviathan]

Granted. They expand the FFVII universe until the point they create a huge MMORPG that you get addicted to and spend the rest of your life playing. Eventually, you are stuck at the computer with IV giving you life support until the day they close the servers. You have spent our life so involved into the game that you are left stunned. As you attempt to return to reality, you realize you have nothing to show for it, no friends, nothing. You are old and alone. One night, after can't taking it anymore, you die from auto-erotic asphyxiation while watching Sephiroth stab Aerith while tears goes down your cheeks.

I want a to become a White Mage/Summoner.

[Citizen Bleys]

Granted! You get no invites because of your failure to sub RDM and Refresh yourself.

I wish I had a cup of tea. Poison answer too obvious

I wish Cuch would come into this thread and say "Granted. You're still an arsehole. I wish you sodding bastards would all just shut the hell up"

[Mercen-X]

Granted. But his post was deleted for being NSFW.

His wish is also granted...

OOC:	Also, the thread is now closed due to CB's wish that Cuch wish everyone shut up. Thus no one can post anything else. Well done.

OOC:	Boy, do I wish I could make a wish.

(SPOILER)

OOC:	Granted. They discovered that you have one day to live, yet sadly you cannot leave the hospital because you are now chained to a hospital bed because your condition has left you insane and liable to all those around you. That in no way granted the wish.

[Tigmafuzz]

Boy, do I wish I could make a wish.

Granted. Your wish to make a wish gets so corrupted that the wish itself becomes sapient and curses its own existence, eventually turning on you, its creator, and stabbing you in the throat. Also somehow all cookies in the world are now stale. What.

Granted. They discovered that you have one day to live, yet sadly you cannot leave the hospital because you are now chained to a hospital bed because your condition has left you insane and liable to all those around you.

That in no way granted the wish.

Being insane isn't better than visiting this site?

I wish I was a monkey's uncle.