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Thread: Would I Lie To You? Game 1 SUDDEN DEATH!

  1. #136
    Not responsible for WWI Citizen Bleys's Avatar
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    FFXIV Character

    Bleys Maynard (Sargatanas)
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    I did try to match the diction to the player (i.e. using American spelling for Americans, British spelling for everyone else), but I did not expect anyone to assume that I could not have written something because the word "literally" was in it.

    I'm almost tempted to add the word "literally" to a bunch of lies, but I'm following the same rules for my lies as I impose on the players for true statements.

  2. #137

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    I was once suspended from school for an incident involving a lifelike plaster skull and sandwich meat.
    My dad obtained this skull from a guy selling it out of his van on the side of the road. It wasn't just a skull. It was a bank (eventually after we started putting money in it, we had to smash it open which made my dad sad). The skull was designed wearing a helmut with a swastika. My mom thought it was the most ridiculous thing ever. The worst part: he had given it to her as a Christmas present. From that point on, whenever a member of my family gave another person something they had secretly intended for themselves, we called it a Nazi Skull Helmet (yeah, bad grammar).
    Jack: How do you know?

    Will: It's more of a feeling really.

    Jack: Well, that's not scientific. Feeling isn't knowing. Feeling is believing. If you believe it, you can't know because there's no knowing what you believe. Then again, no one should believe what they know either. Once you know anything that anything becomes unbelievable if only by virtue of the fact you now... know it. You know?

    Will: No.

    If Demolition Man were remade today

    Huxley: What's wrong? You broke contact.
    Spartan: Contact? I didn't even touch you.
    Huxley: Don't you want to make love?
    Spartan: Is that what you call this? Why don't we just do it the old-fashioned way?
    Huxley: NO!
    Spartan: Whoa! Okay, calm down.
    Huxley: Don't tell me to calm down!
    Spartan: What's gotten into you? 'Cause it sure as hell wasn't me.
    Huxley: Physical relations in the way of intercourse are no longer acceptable John Spartan.
    Spartan: What? Why the hell not?
    Huxley: It's the law, John. And for your information, the very idea that you suggested it makes me feel personally violated.
    Spartan: Wait a minute... violated? Huxley what the hell are you accusing me of here?
    Huxley: You need to leave, John.
    Spartan: But Huxley.
    Huxley: Get out!
    Moments later Spartan is arrested for "violating" Huxley.

    By the way, that's called satire. Get over it.

  3. #138
    Jinx's Avatar
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    ##VOTE: TRUTH
    Quote Originally Posted by Fynn View Post
    Jinx you are absolutely smurfing insane. Never change.

  4. #139
    Shlup's Retired Pimp Recognized Member Raistlin's Avatar
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    Yeah, that's too weird for even Bleys to make up.

    I suppose I should ask some questions, though. Why were you suspended from school? How long were you suspended for?

  5. #140
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    Where did the meat come in?
    Quote Originally Posted by Fynn View Post
    Jinx you are absolutely smurfing insane. Never change.

  6. #141

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    Slap on the wrist: a day. I was caught trying to smoke it on a dare. I figured it was safer than the other stuff. So I used the skull as a bong (this was after it had been smashed and my dad had taped it back together). Neither I nor my "peers" had any idea how a bong was really supposed to work (in fact, I only found out firsthand recently). Have you ever met an idiot in person? Not until you've met me... or my "friends."

    EDIT:
    Quote Originally Posted by Tifa's Boobs View Post
    Where did the meat come in?
    A classmate brought it from home.
    Jack: How do you know?

    Will: It's more of a feeling really.

    Jack: Well, that's not scientific. Feeling isn't knowing. Feeling is believing. If you believe it, you can't know because there's no knowing what you believe. Then again, no one should believe what they know either. Once you know anything that anything becomes unbelievable if only by virtue of the fact you now... know it. You know?

    Will: No.

    If Demolition Man were remade today

    Huxley: What's wrong? You broke contact.
    Spartan: Contact? I didn't even touch you.
    Huxley: Don't you want to make love?
    Spartan: Is that what you call this? Why don't we just do it the old-fashioned way?
    Huxley: NO!
    Spartan: Whoa! Okay, calm down.
    Huxley: Don't tell me to calm down!
    Spartan: What's gotten into you? 'Cause it sure as hell wasn't me.
    Huxley: Physical relations in the way of intercourse are no longer acceptable John Spartan.
    Spartan: What? Why the hell not?
    Huxley: It's the law, John. And for your information, the very idea that you suggested it makes me feel personally violated.
    Spartan: Wait a minute... violated? Huxley what the hell are you accusing me of here?
    Huxley: You need to leave, John.
    Spartan: But Huxley.
    Huxley: Get out!
    Moments later Spartan is arrested for "violating" Huxley.

    By the way, that's called satire. Get over it.

  7. #142
    Jinx's Avatar
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    Yes, but what did you do with the meat?
    Quote Originally Posted by Fynn View Post
    Jinx you are absolutely smurfing insane. Never change.

  8. #143

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    I direct you to post #141.

    Wait... do you mean afterward? 'Cause it was "confiscated," which I assume actually means it was thrown away.
    Jack: How do you know?

    Will: It's more of a feeling really.

    Jack: Well, that's not scientific. Feeling isn't knowing. Feeling is believing. If you believe it, you can't know because there's no knowing what you believe. Then again, no one should believe what they know either. Once you know anything that anything becomes unbelievable if only by virtue of the fact you now... know it. You know?

    Will: No.

    If Demolition Man were remade today

    Huxley: What's wrong? You broke contact.
    Spartan: Contact? I didn't even touch you.
    Huxley: Don't you want to make love?
    Spartan: Is that what you call this? Why don't we just do it the old-fashioned way?
    Huxley: NO!
    Spartan: Whoa! Okay, calm down.
    Huxley: Don't tell me to calm down!
    Spartan: What's gotten into you? 'Cause it sure as hell wasn't me.
    Huxley: Physical relations in the way of intercourse are no longer acceptable John Spartan.
    Spartan: What? Why the hell not?
    Huxley: It's the law, John. And for your information, the very idea that you suggested it makes me feel personally violated.
    Spartan: Wait a minute... violated? Huxley what the hell are you accusing me of here?
    Huxley: You need to leave, John.
    Spartan: But Huxley.
    Huxley: Get out!
    Moments later Spartan is arrested for "violating" Huxley.

    By the way, that's called satire. Get over it.

  9. #144
    Jinx's Avatar
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    You didn't specify what exactly you did with the meat?
    Quote Originally Posted by Fynn View Post
    Jinx you are absolutely smurfing insane. Never change.

  10. #145
    Shlup's Retired Pimp Recognized Member Raistlin's Avatar
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    You... tried to smoke meat... in a bong?

    ...


  11. #146

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    Yes. I think the meat was messed with, because I swear I think I felt something happening. Unless you really can get a buzz off of burnt meat smoke. lol... then again, I suppose it could have been the plaster.
    Quote Originally Posted by Tifa's Boobs View Post
    You didn't specify what exactly you did with the meat?
    We taped a bunch of straws to the skull's top and set fire to the meat in the bank below.
    Jack: How do you know?

    Will: It's more of a feeling really.

    Jack: Well, that's not scientific. Feeling isn't knowing. Feeling is believing. If you believe it, you can't know because there's no knowing what you believe. Then again, no one should believe what they know either. Once you know anything that anything becomes unbelievable if only by virtue of the fact you now... know it. You know?

    Will: No.

    If Demolition Man were remade today

    Huxley: What's wrong? You broke contact.
    Spartan: Contact? I didn't even touch you.
    Huxley: Don't you want to make love?
    Spartan: Is that what you call this? Why don't we just do it the old-fashioned way?
    Huxley: NO!
    Spartan: Whoa! Okay, calm down.
    Huxley: Don't tell me to calm down!
    Spartan: What's gotten into you? 'Cause it sure as hell wasn't me.
    Huxley: Physical relations in the way of intercourse are no longer acceptable John Spartan.
    Spartan: What? Why the hell not?
    Huxley: It's the law, John. And for your information, the very idea that you suggested it makes me feel personally violated.
    Spartan: Wait a minute... violated? Huxley what the hell are you accusing me of here?
    Huxley: You need to leave, John.
    Spartan: But Huxley.
    Huxley: Get out!
    Moments later Spartan is arrested for "violating" Huxley.

    By the way, that's called satire. Get over it.

  12. #147
    Shlup's Retired Pimp Recognized Member Raistlin's Avatar
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    I give up. I hope the Mayans are right, because I can no longer live on this world.

  13. #148
    Shlup's Retired Pimp Recognized Member Raistlin's Avatar
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    I changed my mind. This has to be a terrible lie. I refuse to believe anyone would actually do that. My mental health requires it.

  14. #149
    Jinx's Avatar
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    You know, Mercen-X is really the ringer for Jiro's team. Everything smurfing crazy sounds like something he'd do because


    um

    Because he is a very well balanced person!




    /well played, Sam, well played
    Quote Originally Posted by Fynn View Post
    Jinx you are absolutely smurfing insane. Never change.

  15. #150

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    Quote Originally Posted by Raistlin View Post
    I give up. I hope the Mayans are right, because I can no longer live on this world.
    The Mayans are wrong. The world will go on for thousands more years. Obama is only the first of our false prophets who will plunge our world into war and famine. We will be marked with nanochips and forced to kneel to the all-knowing world order. Do not be overwrought by fear however, as tyrany will end and humanity will know universal peace and compassion.
    Quote Originally Posted by Raistlin View Post
    I changed my mind. This has to be a terrible lie. I refuse to believe anyone would actually do that. My mental health requires it.
    You seem awfully proud of your mental state. Maybe your compensating for something.
    Quote Originally Posted by Tifa's Boobs View Post
    You know, Mercen-X is really the ringer for Jiro's team. Everything smurfing crazy sounds like something he'd do because

    um

    Because he is a very well balanced person!

    /well played, Sam, well played
    Saved by the um.
    Jack: How do you know?

    Will: It's more of a feeling really.

    Jack: Well, that's not scientific. Feeling isn't knowing. Feeling is believing. If you believe it, you can't know because there's no knowing what you believe. Then again, no one should believe what they know either. Once you know anything that anything becomes unbelievable if only by virtue of the fact you now... know it. You know?

    Will: No.

    If Demolition Man were remade today

    Huxley: What's wrong? You broke contact.
    Spartan: Contact? I didn't even touch you.
    Huxley: Don't you want to make love?
    Spartan: Is that what you call this? Why don't we just do it the old-fashioned way?
    Huxley: NO!
    Spartan: Whoa! Okay, calm down.
    Huxley: Don't tell me to calm down!
    Spartan: What's gotten into you? 'Cause it sure as hell wasn't me.
    Huxley: Physical relations in the way of intercourse are no longer acceptable John Spartan.
    Spartan: What? Why the hell not?
    Huxley: It's the law, John. And for your information, the very idea that you suggested it makes me feel personally violated.
    Spartan: Wait a minute... violated? Huxley what the hell are you accusing me of here?
    Huxley: You need to leave, John.
    Spartan: But Huxley.
    Huxley: Get out!
    Moments later Spartan is arrested for "violating" Huxley.

    By the way, that's called satire. Get over it.

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