I wish I was an admin so I could change this for you. Cause I would.Originally Posted by Parker
I wish I was an admin so I could change this for you. Cause I would.
Edgar: Looks
Cyan: Brawn
Gau: Wild-card
Cyan, Edgar and Gau walk onto the stage, with Edgar waving a piece of meat at Gau.
Cyan: Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I am Cyan Garamonde. It is a great honor to be here this evening. These two are my companions, Gau and Sir Edgar.
Edgar: Hahaha, Cyan, check this little kid out. He's a nut for this stuff![i]
Edgar continues to wave the meat around, quickly yanking it back every time Gau reaches for it.
Cyan: Sir Edgar! Stop that at once! Does thou hath no respect?! *rips the meat out of Edgar's hand*
Edgar: Lighten up old man, its a party, geez. I'm just having some fun with the kid, damn.
Cyan: A party?! This is a ceremony of--
Gau tackles him down and attempts to wrestle the meat from his hands. Edgar points and laughs at the struggling Cyan.
Cyan: No Gau! You do not need this!
Gau: Gua want! Gau get!
Cyan and Gau wrestle. Edgar stops laughing and steps up to the podium.
Edgar: NOW its a party! How is everyone doing this evening? You'll have to forgive Mr. Thou over there. Anyways, this evening we are here to present the Most Likely To Beat Up an Adamantoise On Their Day Off reward! What exactly does this entail though? For starters--
Cyan is thrown into Edgar and they both fall over into the podium, breaking it.
Gau: Mmmm! Good meat! Mmmmmmmmm!
Edgar: *gets to his feet* That little..! How're we supposed to give a speech with him around?! He's a freaking animal, I swear! One moment, Cyan, I'll take care of this little punk. Then we can get down with the speech. He exits the stage.
Cyan: It was you who provoked him!
Cyan gets up and dusts himself off.
Cyan: You'll have to forgive the actions of my companions. They are very... energetic people. Ahem... as Sir Edgar said before, this reward is a very unique one. Amusing, but it also has depth. One does not simply beat up Adamantoises for no reason. No, they do it for many. To sharpen their skills. To test their patience and endurance. To obtain the rare metal, Adamantite. All these are fair reasons as to why one would fight these on their off days. I believe it requires a certain degree of strength and virtue to--
Edgar: Hey! Gau! Come here for a second!
Edgar returns to stage holding a crossbow armed with a bolt with a piece of meat on the end. Gau quickly leaps over to Edgar and tries to grab the meat with no success.
Cyan: Sir Edgar! Why must you continue to provoke him like this?
Edgar: Okay Gau, see it? FETCH!
He shoots the bolt and it flies out a window. Gau isn't to far behind and he leaps out of the window, screaming for the meat. Edgar stands confidently. Cyan looks terrified.
Cyan: S-S-S-S-Sir Edgar! What have you done?!
Edgar: For one, I took care of our Gau problem. Now we can actually give the speech without being knocked off our feet. Two, I fed Gau. That is, if he finds it. *chuckles to himself.
Cyan: What if he is injured? Or worse?! He jumped out of the window! If thou hast hurt him...
Edgar: Don't have a heart attack, geez. That kid is a natural. He'll survive. Now come on, lets get this party moving!
Edgar steps to the center of stage.
Cyan: Everyone, Beating Up An Adamantoise on Your Day Off is serious business. You must have no life, I mean come on. Or serious anger issues, maybe even immense depression. One of you, dare I say lucky, have been nominated for this award. So, without further interruptions, lets read the winner. Cyan?
Cyan: Very well...
Cyan pulls out an envelope from his back pocket and unfolds it. He brings the paper to his face for a moment of careful study and gives it to Edgar. Edgar observes the paper for a moment, and chuckles.
Edgar: The winner of the award goes to...
Suddenly, they hear someone yelling loud from outside. Cyan turns very pale and faces Edgar with an angry look on his face. Edgar rubs the back of his neck and begins talking quickly.
Edgar: Calm down, there has to be an explanation. That kid survived in the Veldt, no way he got seriously hurt from a fall like that...
Cyan: He certainly sounds injured to me! Sir Edgar! Prepare to face the wrath of a Samurai of Doma! He draws his sword.
Edgar: W-Whoa man, chill out! He isn't dead at least! I mean--
Another loud yell is heard. This one sounds strained and immense, but it cedes in a few moments. Another sound is heard following it, it sounds like a monster roaring. As the seconds pass, the roaring gets closer and closer until something crashes through the window Gau jumped out of. What appears to be a giant turtle is now on the stage on its back, wriggling, trying to turn over. Gau leaps through the gaping hole of the building and makes his way to the stage, holding the bolt, meat on the end and everything. He climbs on stage and says one thing.
Gau: Meat is Gau's! Gau is winner! Gau beat Adamantoise!
Cyan and Edgar look at the giant monster. They look back at Gau. They look at the monster again.
Edgar: That kid... He..?
Cyan: Yep.
Edgar: How..?
Cyan: I do not know.
The Adamantoise roars with ferocity and rage, wriggling constnatly as it tries to get off it's back.
Edgar: Oh man, that thing is getting pissed! No way we can take it! Gau! How did you even take it?
Gau eats the meat, ignoring everything else. The Adamantoise finally flips over. It roars a final time and begins inching closer to Edgar and Cyan.
Edgar: Y-Y-You gotta be kidding! We are so screwed! Maybe we'd better announce the winner, like NOW.
Cyan: Excellent idea, Sir Edgar!
Edgar: Well, whoever it is, good job for having issues, now get up here and help us out! The winner is...
Wark!
Hope I didn't miss the fun all. We Tonberry's walk slow.
Hilarious speech!
Party's just startin'!
Whoever this actually is deserves a rep. lol.
No no no kupo!
Just in time!
Kupo~!
Careful for my knife!No no no kupo!
Just in time!
I don't know what you mean. I'm Award Cactuar, kupo! Uh... I mean... needle!Whoever this actually is deserves a rep. lol.
Most Likely To Beat up an Adamantoise on their Day Off
The Nominees
Auron - FFX · Lightning - FFXIII · Oerba Yun Fang - FFXIII · Sabin René Figaro - FFVI · Snow Villiers - FFXIII · Squall Leonhart - FFVIII · Zell Dincht - FFVIII
And the winner is...
Auron
Wark!
Nobody should beat up the adamantoise! Kupo!
They so friendly and happy to me Kupo, in fact sometimes we go to discos together kupo! and do the monster mash!
Kupo~!
What? Not Fang? Seriously. My predictions must be seriously borked.
Auron is the original FF badass.
Go get the Adamantoise off the stage, Auron!
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