Bow before the mighty Javoo!
Most Likely to be the Protagonist in a New Sequel
The Nominees
Balthier - FFXII · Cloud Strife - FFVII · Kain Highwind - FFIV · Lightning - FFXIII · Seifer Almasy - FFVIII
Please give a warm welcome to the presenters of this award...
Reno & Rude
Reno! Get up! Time for us to give our speech!
*yaaaaaaaawn* What time is Rude?
Oh wait, trout is that camera on!
You slept in.
Oh crap! Why didn't you wake me up?
I trie-
Gotta get dressed gotta get dressed! Gotta look, flashy.
Oh, you know I like flashy. I'll just start off. Reno and I are here to prepare you for the award, Most Likely to Be the Protagonist in a New Sequel.
Sounds like us! Isn't that right Rude?
Ha, I guess with the speed they're producing FFVII sequels it isn't out of the realm of possibility I suppose. But this isn't about us Reno.
Right, it's about our wonderful finalists! I'll do the honors Rude!
That isn't how we practiced this Reno.
Pft, practice-shmactice! Am I right?
Uh, no I don-
Of course I'm right! First up is Balthier from Final Fantasy XII! A right sexy man he is!
Uh. Erm. Ok. And after that is our good friend Cloud. We know SE could definitely pump another one of them out!
Right! After him, Kain Highwind from Final Fantasy IV! Could see his quest for redemption!
And then-
Oh! Oh! Oh! And Lightning! How many sequels has she gotten?
Reno-
And Seifer! Perhaps a squeal with his ROMANTIC DREAM. If you know what I mean Rude!
Hey Reno it'-
Well that's all the time we've got say good-bye Rude!
*sigh* Bye ever-
That's all folks! Oh, wait, one more thing! The winner is...
And the winner is...
Lightning
Bow before the mighty Javoo!
Award Chocobo: This little bird can tell you that Lightning won that award by a single vote! On another note, here's a little more red carpet delight for you all! Another photo taken, another photo developed!
Bow before the mighty Javoo!
Cutest Couple
The Nominees
Aeris Gainsborough & Zack Fair - FFVII:CC · Cecil Harvey & Rosa Farrell - FFIV · Celes Chere & Locke Cole - FFVI · Cloud Strife & Tifa Lockhart - FFVII · Oerba Yun Fang & Oerba Dia Vanille - FFXIII · Garnet Til Alexandros XVII & Zidane Tribal - FFIX · Rinoa Heartilly & Squall Leonhart - FFVIII · Thorn & Zorn - FFIX · Tidus & Yuna - FFX
Please give a warm welcome to the presenter of this award...
Serah
Serah: We’re starting on the main awards now, and I’m here to present the award for the “Cutest Couple”.
Sometimes a couple are already together, and fit so perfectly together that you can see why! But others often fall together after being brought into circumstances beyond their control, for instance a great evil has beset the world and two young heroes collide on the path to victory, and find love along the way!
Isn’t it just so romantic?
Amongst our nominees we have the tragic Aeris and Zack, Tidus and Yuna and my personal favourite of the list, Vanille and Fang. We have the triumphant Garnet and Zidane. The heroic pairing of Squall and Rinoa. There is one of the most complex of romantic relationships out there, Cloud and Tifa. Of course the classic love stories of Celes and Locke and Cecil and Rosa. and that brings us to the plain weird; Thorn and Zorn.
You know, I’m still a little surprised that I’m not in this category, but; I’m rooting for Vanille and Fang!
I believe that when you’re fighting to save the world, your love grows stronger and deeper, and you find the connection that can be deep rooted through souls and time... and to be the best couple, you can’t have that without sacrifice, passion and everything that makes love so true...
And the winner is...
And the winner is...
Garnet Til Alexandros XVII & Zidane Tribal
Bow before the mighty Javoo!
Most Annoying Character
The Nominees
Cait Sith - FFVII · Hope Estheim - FFXIII · Oerba Dia Vanille - FFXIII · Quina Quen - FFIX · Squall Leonhart - FFVIII · Tidus - FFX · Vaan - FFXII · Yuffie Kisaragi - FFVII · Zell Dincht - FFVIII
Please give a warm welcome to the presenters of this award...
Locke, Rachel, Celes & Terra
Locke: Hello, ladies!
Celes: Hi Locke! How are you?
Locke: I'm pretty good, I gotta say! What about you two?
Terra: Fine.
Rachel: I'm fine.
Terra: Let's get through these nominees for Most Annoying Member, shall we?
Locke: In a hurry, eh? No problem! First up is Cait Sith, who tonight I understand is managing the loudspeaker.
Celes: I really do hate it when he uses that megaphone when I'm standing right next to him, so I can kind of see how people would get annoyed. Not to mention that he totally screwed over AVALANCHE that one time... but people make mistakes.
Terra: Hmm, yes, they do. Next is Hope Estheim, who clearly made some people jealous at his immense intelligence and speed of maturing, but it was probably his constant teen angst at Snow that got people annoyed. Although when you're dealing with death, people seemingly do stupid things.
Rachel: Not that it's an excuse.
Terra: Definitely not.
Locke: Uh, yeah. Anyway, Vanille is next on the list - pretty sure that's due to her love-it-or-hate-it accent and the many erotic grunts she makes.
Rachel: I bet you loved that...
Locke: Not the time or place, haha!
Rachel: Quina Quen is up for this award, too - well, people who do what they want do get very annoying!
Celes: Squall's here, too - whatever. See what I did there? "Whatever"? Anyone?
Terra: Wha-- argh! Dammit.
Locke: *chuckles* Tidus is on the list, I suppose that's not surprising. For anyone who is only just getting to know the guy, he's quite, uh, open with his emotions. Very much so. The kind of guy that wears his heart on his sleeve.
Rachel: Better than wearing your heart in your hand and giving it away at every turn!
Locke: I... suppose...
Celes: Vaan's next. These young lead characters don't get much of a break in these awards!
Terra: At least they're loyal, though. Always. To the end.
Rachel: Definitely. Next up is Yuffie Kisaragi.
Celes: Whenever I meet Yuffie, my purse feels lighter.
Locke: Great kid.
Terra: You would like her, you thief.
Locke: Hey! It's a treasure hunter, you know that!
Terra: Hmm, you certainly are a hunter of something. Last on the list is Zell Dincht. I guess his, uh, simple minded nature didn't capture everyone. Some people need to think a little more, don't they Locke?
Locke: Alright, alright, that's the nominees done, now what's going on here? You two have been sniping at me all day!
Rachel: Cutest Couple finalist, huh?
Locke: Huh? Oh, uh...
Terra: Yeah, you told me I was special!
Rachel: He WHAT!? You, too!?
Locke: Uh oh. Now, look...
Celes: Hey, I think it's sweet that so many girls like this lovely man!
Rachel: He was mine first, you hussy.
Terra: You died!
Rachel: This is a magical multiverse. Do I look dead to you!?
Locke: You told me to love her as I loved you!
Terra: Oh, God, you think she actually meant that!?
Celes: Ouch, Locke. That's bad.
Locke: Hey! You're supposed to be on my side!
Celes: Locke, honey, girls don't mean that crap, they want to be number one for all of your life. But I'm glad you're with me anyway.
Rachel: Hmph.
Locke: Then maybe she -- uh, that is... oh, God, I'm not getting out of this at all. And Terra, I mean, come on, I don't know where this has come from!
Terra: You were very suggestive. Sure, you didn't outright hit on me, but...
Rachel: He's always suggestive. It's in his nature, or something. Probably spent too much time around Edgar.
Terra: He would always come running when I needed him!
Celes: Maybe he was just being protective of you?
Terra: I guess, but...
Celes: Let's face it, he's a great guy. Sure, he can be annoying on a few occasions, but he means well!
Rachel: *sigh* I suppose.
Locke: Hey, now, no tears. C'mere.
Locke and Rachel hug. Terra and Celes look at each other and join the hug. A few seconds pass.
Locke: ...I take it there's no way that I can somehow wrangle this situation to work in favour of everyo--
Celes, Rachel & Terra: NO!!!
The girls quickly detach themselves from the embrace.
Locke: Just asking, just asking! Okay, uh, everyone's staring, so... may as well get this over with, then. The winner of Most Annoying Member is...
And the winner is...
Tidus
Bow before the mighty Javoo!
Award Chocobo: Award Cactuar is on the beat, and he didn't have to do much questioning to get a story out of this little snippet we've been sent! Good job, Cactuar!
Award Cactuar with all the gossip! Photographer: [url=http://summonerdagger88.deviantart.com/]SummonerDagger88
Bow before the mighty Javoo!
Most Underrated Character
The Nominees
Bartz Klauser - FFV · Cait Sith - FFVII · Edward Chris von Muir - FFIV · Freya Crescent - FFIX · Quina Quen - FFIX · Zell Dincht - FFVIII
Please give a warm welcome to the presenters of this award...
Bahamut & Louisoix
Bahamut and a cloaked character walk onto stage from opposite directions.
Bahamut: ...Louisoix. Dude, they know it's you.
Louisoix: Okay, lucky guess, now...
Bahamut: You totally died!
Louisoix: No, you see, I'm fine...
Bahamut: There were explosions!
Louisoix: I ducked!
Bahamut: That's RETARDED!
Louisoix: ...Well played, Bahamut.
Bahamut: Don't leave yet, there's something important you have to hear. The future of everything we know rests on your response. We are young. Heartache to heartache, we stand. No promises... no demands...
Hildibrand, yelling from audience: Do some Julia next!
Bahamut: We are strong. No one can tell us we're wrong. Searching our hearts for so long. Both of us knowing... Love. Love is a battlefield. You're begging me to go, but you're making me stay... why do you hurt me so bad? It would help me to know, do I stand in your way, or--
Louisoix: Stop.
Bahamut: Or am I the best thing you've had? Believe me, believe me, I can't tell you why.
Louisoix: Please, please stop.
Hildibrand: Ask him to do some Lenne!
Bahamut: But I'm trapped by your love. And I'm chained to your side. There is my riddle, Louisoix. Can you solve it in time?
Louisoix: ...I'm really uncomfortable.
Bahamut: You're the only one, don't you see? Louisoix, teach the world to rock again.
Louisoix: Oh, come on...
Louisoix begins to leave, and then stops before he's off stage and turns his head back.
Louisoix: ...do you really think it's even still possible?
Bahamut: Oh, you admit that you feel it? Hmm, I guess even you can't deny the soul of rock. I knew you were the one, just as I've known for years. You may turn your back on us, you may try to run. Know this: We're starting a rock band. And you're the only one who can play lead guitar, Louisoix.
Louisoix spends a few seconds contemplating.
Louisoix: I gue--
Hildibrand: It's going to be awesome! I get to play bass!
Louisoix, quickly walking away: Not interested.
Bahamut: Hildibrand! Argh, dammit, I wish you'd stay quiet. Oh well. Uh, geez, sorry everyone. We were going to play some music with the nominees detailed in the song, but I guess we'll have to make do by reading their names out. The nominees for Most Underrated Character are: Bartz Klauser, Cait Sith, Edward Chris von Muir, Freya Crescent, Quina Quen and Zell Dincht. And the winner is...
And the winner is...
Freya Crescent
Bow before the mighty Javoo!
Award Chocobo: Woah, got a little quiet in here just then, I guess it's second nature to duck whenever you hear Bahamut is taking the stage! And Louisoix... there stands one of the greatest of us all, hero of 2012 for me! Meanwhile, it seems Award Moogle got a little laugh out of Reno & Rude earlier today...
Bow before the mighty Javoo!
Most Mysteriuos Character
The Nominees
Amarant Coral - FFIX · Auron - FFX · Chocolina - FFXIII-2 · Gogo - FFVI · Louisoix - FFXIV · Red XIII - FFVII · Shadow - FFVI · Vincent Valentine - FFVII
Please give a warm welcome to the presenters of this award...
Gilgamesh
Award Chocobo: Now, to get him here, I think I just have to make a call to Atomos, he's good with this space-time stuff...
Award Chocobo whips out his PHS and after a warky phonecall, a strange portal appears and Gilgamesh jumps out of it, spinning acrobatically.
Gilgamesh: Behold, it is I! Gilgamesh! Dimensional traveler! What weapon shall I steal from this realm!
Award Chocobo: This is the Final Fantasy multiverse and you are in our Opera House! No weapons to steal here! I mean... uh... wark!
Gilgamesh: No weapons! What a strange thing to hear. What do you do with your time here if there is nothing to collect!
Award Chocobo: We like to talk about Final Fantasy here. In fact we just called you here to give out the award for the most mysterious Final Fantasy character!
Gilgamesh: Ah! The most mysterious in all the universe, why that must be me of course!
Award Chocobo: Wark! Nope, you aren't even on the list! *waves the nominees list in his talon*
Gilgamesh: What? Give me that!
Gilgamesh snatches the nominees list, reads it over, and rips it up.
Gilgamesh: Haha! You fool! Now that I have destroyed your precious list, you cannot continue with this proceeding and will have no choice but to name me the Most Mysterious!
Award Chocobo: Nope! Kweh! I have the list memorized. First on the list is Amarant Coral, from Final Fantasy IX! He's on the list for being a quiet mysterious monk type!
Gilgamesh: Quiet! Why, that is easy! Watch! ...
...
...
Haha! See I am better than this, Amarant Coral!
Award Chocobo: Next on this list was Auron, from Final Fantasy X! That badass dude was on for his speak of stories, fate, and destiny! Kweh!
Gilgamesh: Destiny? I've live my life bound to destiny, for it is my fate to collect all of the rarest weapons! What is more mysterious than that fate? That destiny?
Award Chocobo: After that was Chocolina from Final Fantasy XIII-2! That mysterious girl loves us chocobos and almost always cosplays as one of us! Why, there are even rumours that she used to be a Chocobo...
Gilgamesh: That isn't mysterious! It's just weird!
Award Chocobo: After that was Gogo from Final Fantasy VI! So little is known about Gogo we don't even know his or her gender! KWEH!
Gilgamesh: Do you not remember my speech from Final Fantasy V? I'm not even sure I have a gender! ...Er, wait a minute, is this live? Can we edit that out?
Award Chocobo: Our list then moved on to Louisoix from Final Fantasy XIV! This guy speaks as if he was from Middle Earth thou thinkest!
Gilgamesh: Nay! Thou do not speakth of a difficult task! Harken to me! Complex linguistics is so simple a knave could do it!
Award Chocobo: After Louisoix was Red XIII from Final Fantasy VII! This guy was going to be able to breed with a human despite being a dog... thing...
Gilgamesh: That's just gross!
Award Chocobo: And I could never forgot the assassin Shadow from Final Fantasy VI! Where does that guy go randomly when he leaves your party! No one knows!
Gilgamesh: And what do I do in those dimensional rifts? Explain that!
Award Chocobo: The final member was Vincent Valentine from Final Fantasy VII! He was a vampire, that could transform into a zombie, or a demon, or that guy from the Halloween movies!
Gilgamesh: I suppose that is pretty mysterious.
Award Chocobo: Sure is! Would you like to read the winner?
Gilgamesh: Sure.
Gilgamesh grabs the winner envelop from Award Chocobo and looks at it, then at Award Chocobo, then back at the envelope, then back at Award Chocobo.
Gilgamesh: You have this memorized, don't you?
Award Chocobo: Yup!
Gilgamesh: *sighs* No point in being stubborn I suppose. The winner is...
And the winner is...
Shadow
Bow before the mighty Javoo!
Most Influential Character
The Nominees
Cecil Harvey - FFIV · Cloud Strife - FFVII · Edgar Roni Figaro - FFVI · Laguna Loire - FFVIII · Sephiroth - FFVII · Terra Brandford - FFVI · Zack Fair - FFVII:CC · Zidane Tribal - FFIX
Please give a warm welcome to the presenter of this award...
Judge Gabranth
Gabranth: Thank you everyone. It's great to be here tonight, a night where I might just finally prove myself greater than Basch. At least I get to present an award tonight, and... what was that? He was actually NOMINATED for an award?! GAH! EVERY! FREAKING! TIME! I mean, I look the same as the guy, I sound the same as the guy, but oh, he's the big hero! I'm the murderer. It's so unfair. I - I was tricked into it all along! Yeah! Grrr. And he still treats me nicely, which just makes it even more annoying. Always the nice guy. Oh well. I gotta admit, he's influenced my life a lot, makes me wonder why he wasn't nominated for this award. Woah, am I still talking about this? Urgh. Okay.
The nominees for Most Influential Character are:
Cecil Harvey, a gallant Paladin who's story was told at such detail that it captured the minds of a generation of scribes, who from that point would continue to provide such insightful stories of future heroes and heroines.
Cloud Strife, arguably the most well known hero of our kind and a person who drove stories of our conquests into the minds of millions.
Edgar Roni Figaro, a king of such influence that he would lead a nation on a fight against impossible odds, and win.
Laguna Loire, who brought a nation so far ahead of every other nation in his world that it seemed like walking from one century to another when you entered it.
Sephiroth, another extremely well known character of Cloud's world, yet interestingly a villain in this case whose long hair, trenchcloak and Masamune sword would strike terror in children when told "If you don't do this, Sephiroth is gonna get you" by angry parents.
Terra Branford, the first female heroine to take a central role in saving a world in our multiverse.
Zack Fair, who it could be argued influenced Cloud to such a great degree that Cloud for some time thought he was Zack.
Finally, Zidane Tribal, who has a tail.
And the winner is...
And the winner is...
Cloud Strife
Bow before the mighty Javoo!
Judge Gabranth heads to the stage to announce the winner. Photographer: joelmbell
Proud Cloud! Photographer: x-Memoire-x
Bow before the mighty Javoo!
Weirdest Character
The Nominees
Amarant Coral - FFIX · Cait Sith - FFVII · Gau - FFVI · Gilgamesh · Gogo - FFVI · Kimahri Ronso - FFX · NORG - FFVIII · Quina Quen - FFIX · Umaro - FFVI
Please give a warm welcome to the presenters of this award...
Cid Highwind & Jecht
Cid Highwind: Thought paying for this hoolah would get me out of this kind of position...
Jecht: Fancy awards thing you've got going on here. What are we doing now?
Cid: Well I kinda got stuck with you to do a trout presentation about a bunch of queers. I’d rather not go anywhere near ‘em!
Jecht: Heh, fair enough.
Cid: Alright, here’s some tea. Now who are these queers we have to announce? They gave you the list so all this is rather new to me and I’d like to get it done and over with as soon as possible.
Jecht: They gave us pictures too, awesome. First is Amarant Coral, he’s in IX.
Cid: What in the hell is wrong with his skin? He’s supposed to be human! Even the $#!%ing weird lookin’ ones in that game have normal skin tones and his hair is red. Why not just make him purple!
Jecht: Says here that he basically pops out of nowhere near the end of the game and you learn basically nothing about him.
Cid: Next is Cait $%!#ing Sith. Yeah he’s a queer one alright.
Jecht: What did he do?
Cid: Don’t ask, you’re better off not knowing.
Jecht: Next is some Jungle Book kid Gau from VI. He jumps into monsters for their powers. And I thought my kid was weird...
Cid: Aren’t you glad we stayed as far away as possible from queers like that?! Gilgamesh... never heard of him, you?
Jecht: Nope, not at all. What’s so weird about him? His role isn't consistent and he’s not even in all the games!
Cid: Someone must think he’s weird, that’s all that matters and we don’t have to be anywhere near him today! I think...
Jecht: Gogo in VI... I can’t tell if it’s a chick or a dude and he’s a mime.
Cid: $#!%ing queer is probably dressed in drag and we don't even know if it's trying to be a girl or a dude! HAhahaahaa! Next is one of your friends Kimahri.
Jecht: You do realize that I never interacted with him, right? Somehow he’s weirder than Tidus, which is quite the feat if you ask me.
Cid: He’s blue and furry and probably is a furry.
Jecht: Whoa, take a look at this one! He looks like Jabba the Hutt’s rejected twin. He lives under a school and somehow controls things.
Cid: I’d hate to be the person who has to touch that thing after it gets killed. He’s probably hiding a pizza, case of soda, the Trepies, the snowboarding game from the Gold Saucer, and Bahamut in his flaps.
Jecht: Apparently they found Quina in his flaps when they finally cleared him out. Said she/he was looking for frogs and almost found one too.
Cid: The hell, it jumped back in after getting out? No one wants a frog that bad. Quina is another $@!%ing transvestite of some sort.
Jecht: Those seem to be a shoe in for being strange. Laaaast one...
Cid: A $#!% Yeti?! That’s just incredibly judgemental. It’s a Yeti for %$!@’s sake! He has a free pass at being queer.
Jecht: Well that was the last of ‘em.
Cid: Good, now drink your goddamn tea and get out! Oh, uh, right - the winner is...
And the winner is...
Quina Quen
Bow before the mighty Javoo!
Bow before the mighty Javoo!
Funniest Character
The Nominees
Adelbert Steiner - FFIX · Balthier - FFXII · Cid Highwind - FFVII · Gilgamesh · Laguna Loire - FFVIII · Quina Quen - FFIX · Reno - FFVII · Ultros - FFVI · Zell Dincht - FFVIII
Please give a warm welcome to the presenter of this award...
Galuf Halm Baldesion
Galuf: Alright kiddies, sit down as Grandpa Galuf is about to serve you a speech! As a good friend of mine would say with cheese biscuits AND mashed potatoes! This will act as a forward for our fantastically funny Final Fantasy character! These nominees can say things quite pish posh.
Adelbert Steiner! There are many types of humor in the world, Mr. Rusty Armor himself is the greatest example of slapstick. What I'm saying is, he's hilarious because we can laugh at him. Not usually with him. Also naming him Einstein when you play through makes him be named Adelbert Einstein, which is just silly to me! Poor Steiner just can't escape the jests of Zidane!
Balthier! Now this one is an odd choice! I never realized Balthier was a leading man of a comedy! No applause? Not the most sophisticated of jokes sure... But I'm aren't that sophisticated of a guy! But Balthier, that guy is! He's got more suave then Edgar on a good day! Perhaps he got all the girlies to nominate him for this eh?
Cid Highwind! There's been many flavors of Cid, the Cid from my game was a shut-in nerd, but not the one of this variety! Cid Highwind from Gaia VII was quite the potty mouth! And let me tell you, potty mouths are funnier than Bartz trying to ride a drake!ALL YOU SIT DOWN AND DRINK YER DAMN TEA! Sorry, always wanted to try that line out for size! I guess I'm a bit too old for it.
Gilgamesh! Ah, I remember old Gilgy as I liked to call him. What was it he said once? "Enough expository banter. It's time we fight like men. And ladies. And ladies who dress like men. For Gilgamesh...IT IS MORPHING TIME!" Although I think he was just looking at Faris at the time, oh boy was that hilarious! Gilgy's humor at time can be quite... In...inconceivable!
Laguna Loire! - Laguna's life is like a lemony teenage love story. One that makes you cringe as he struggles to talk to the girl of the story, and gets his occasionally STOMACH ACHES OH NO! What he really needed was a good sit down with Grandpa Galuf! I woulda told him how we got the girl in my day!
Quina Quen! - I... er... um... just like at this guy! girl! uh. Qu!
Reno! - Reno here is missing his partner in crime, Rude! But he's a funny dude nonetheless! Reno and Rude are funny, because they're the typical silly dynamic duo! Like Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan in rush hour! The question is who's Jackie and who's Chris?
Ultros! Ultros man. Freaking Ultros. I'm just going to dedicate his section to thing's he says.
"What a delicious morsel! I wanna get my tentacles around her...!"
"Oh, all right, Uncle Ulty REALLY wants you to paint his portrait!"
"Don't tease the octopus, kids!"
"Thwarted again! I feel like such a sucker. Well, kids, hate to ink and run...... but I AM an octopus!"
That Ultros is quite the jester! Ironically in a game with a Jester villain!
Zell Dincht! Boy can this dude eat! Food humor man! Food humor!
Well I hope I got you all revved up! And the winner is...
And the winner is...
Ultros
Bow before the mighty Javoo!
An interesting picture... wait, what? Who the hell is that at the bottom? 'Steve'!? Must be an NPC... Photographer: DK
Award Chocobo: Another tasty treat from our roaming reporters! Award Cactuar has found the man with the gil behind this plan, Cid Highwind!
Bow before the mighty Javoo!
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