Most Likely to Get Run Over by the Chocobo
The Nominees
Adelbert Steiner - FFIX · Cait Sith - FFVII · Cloud Strife - FFVII · Sazh Katzroy - FFXIII · Tidus - FFX · Yuffie Kisaragi - FFVII · Zell Dincht - FFVIII
Please give a warm welcome to the presenter of this award...
Garland
Garland: Hello fools! It is I, Garland, here to deliver a speech for the winner of the award, "Most Likely to Get Run over by a Chocobo"! I was picked for this, because I know quite a lot about getting knocked down, but not because it often happens to me. I, Garland, shall do the knocking down when there is knocking down to be done! Except in this case. In this case it is a Chocobo. You know, the gets me wondering, there were no Chocobos in my world, do worlds with them have Chocobo Traffic laws!
Actually, my lack of experience with Chocobos makes me question me as a choice for this award! Why was I chosen? What skills do I have to know who will and won't be able to dodge an oncoming Chocobo like a dodgeball? I never was very good at dodgeball. Would always get picked last for the teams. Eventually I stopped getting picked at all. I wasn't allowed to slash the ball in half with my sword and that's really all I know how to do. I'm not really given any lines in Final Fantasy I.
Hm. Looking back, maybe that's why I captured the Princess. Pent up aggression. From lack of dodgeball. You'd be surprised on the lasting damage that can do on a teenager! Always getting made fun of. Dodgeball is an integral part of growing up in medieval societies you know! Almost as important as heroic struggles!
Speaking of heroic strugg--
GIANT TIME-RIFT OPENS BEHIND GARLAND!
Garland: Oh, no! Oh, not again! Everytime I get off topic one of these time-rift opens! I GOTTA WRAP THIS UP! The nominees are Adelbert Steiner, Cait Sith, Cloud Strife, Sazh Katzroy, Tidus, Yuffie Kisaragi, and Zell Dincht! WITTY JOKE! UH. ER. AGHHHHHHH!
GARLAND STARTS GETTING SUCKED INTO TIME RIFT!
Garland: And the winner iiiiiiiissssssss...
And the winner is...
Adelbert Steiner
