there's an obvious joke in here somewhere

[Tigmafuzz]

I wonder how much "criminal skills" and "skills needed to survive developed by growing up without a home or family" overlap? Because I can do a lot of things that would likely also qualify as criminal skills. I know for a fact I can break into and hotwire a car easily and silently, I can pick locks, I can beat the living trout out of up to three fairly large people at once, I am extremely proficient at predicting social behavior and manipulating people as well as getting them to trust me subconsciously (taught to me by another man on the street; he had honed his manipulation skills over several years, and after studying sociology and reading a few books on hellstromism and manipulating people, basically everything he taught me was either in a book or something that I had proven from experience), I'm charismatic and have excellent planning, observational, and organizational skills (according to several aptitude tests, the military, and my ability to dominate anyone I've ever played against at BF3, AoE, Civilization, or chess), I'm not afraid to break rules if I need to, and I could randomly decide not to be whitehat anymore and just be the criminal organization's computer guy.

•Disclaimer: I would never willingly do any of these things for any selfish or ignoble purposes

[blackmage_nuke]

I jaywalk and loiter like a pro. I'll also piss outside if im drunk enough

[Hollycat]

I'm a pyro if that counts, if not, I know how to make things look like they've been set on fire.

[Citizen Bleys]

If I ever decide to become a rapist, I already have the beard for it.

[Tigmafuzz]

If I ever decide to become a rapist, I already have the beard for it.

WE HAVE A WINNER

[Jinx]

I have tits.

No, really.

You'd be surprised how far sexuality can go.

[fire_of_avalon]

Like Pike, no one would ever expect me to engage in nefarious activities, so if I were sneaky I would not be caught.

I'm also pretty good at improvising. Not like improvising weapons, but improvising.

[Jiro]

I don't understand why we haven't taken the logical step of becoming an international crime syndicate yet.

[The Summoner of Leviathan]

I don't understand why we haven't taken the logical step of becoming an international crime syndicate yet.

Of course we are not secretly a crime syndicate Jiro, why would we advertise that aloud where anyone could see it?

[Citizen Bleys]

I don't understand why we haven't taken the logical step of becoming an international crime syndicate yet.

I'm down with forming a tiger team like the guys on Leverage, but such tiger teams rarely have an open slot for an actual rapist, let alone some guy with a rapisty beard. Even if such an opening were to exist, they would undoubtedly contact Frankie Boyle instead of me because he has a Scottish accent.

[Jinx]

EOFF'S ELVEN

[Bunny]

I have tits.

No, really.

You'd be surprised how far sexuality can go.

Anyone who is surprised at this is either stupid or naive.

My criminal skills include, but are not limited to, lock picking, car jacking, and pick pocketing.

[Lone Wolf Leonhart]

What skills do I have that would make me a good criminal? Role playing Dexter Morgan.

Do you also leave your cell phone ringer on when you're trying to kill people?

Yes. It's a real pain, though. The person on the other end always wants me to rush off somewhere before I finish the job.

[Mirage]

I once accidentally scammed a guy when he asked me to fix his PC. I made him buy a new component and took the old one with me. After the replacement part was put in, his PC worked. When I came home, the part I removed also still worked. And I got paid for doing the work for him as well.

So I guess i have the criminal skill of scamming computer illiterate people, and make them like it in the process.

[DownDiagonalLeftA]

I have an iPod full of illegally downloaded music. I like to live life on the edge.