One Christmas, as a joke, one of my friends wrapped up coal and send it to me. Imagine my laughter on Christmas Day!
One Christmas, as a joke, one of my friends wrapped up coal and send it to me. Imagine my laughter on Christmas Day!
This year my Stepdad got me a really old, boxed Spike (Buffy) figurine.
He told me he'd seen it in a charity shop and thought of me so got it for a joke
I read that sentence wrong as I was scrolling past it and I thought it said something about powering up your electric attacks.Originally Posted by Pike
Face
ส็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็༼ ຈل͜ຈ༽ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้
"It's super-effective!"I read that sentence wrong as I was scrolling past it and I thought it said something about powering up your electric attacks.
A couple of years ago, I was given a toaster that automatically puts Jesus's face on all the toast. I'm assuming "weird" can also mean "awesome" here.
Also, while not a weird gift itself, my mom has a tradition of putting gifts in random boxes to surprise the opener. One year, for example, I had a gift put into a toilet seat box.
My boyfriend's stepsister gave me a framed photo of her stupid smurfing three year old.
What the smurf am I going to do with a framed photo of my boyfriend's cross-eyed stepsister's stupid smurfing kid? The extent of our relationship is me watching him babble, drool and play with airplanes twice a year. There is nothing admirable or intimate about this child I want to show off to anyone.
smurf our culture.
Not into children then Clo?
This wasn't a weird gift to me, but from me: A few weeks ago, my sister had a kidney stone for the first time, and was in the hospital for a night. It was very painful (I haven't had one, but the people that have seem to generally agree that it's among the worst pain they've ever felt) and she missed a few days of school as she recovered.
So of course I had to buy her a can of kidney beans.
Jam and cheese tray from my brother.....
And a fuzzy bra.....joke gift, and flavoured condoms from the same person ~.~
That doesn't sound like a joke gift, if anything more a request!
I got a wrapped coathanger one year so "i could have a present to open on Christmas day." That's as weird as its getting!
Oh, no, the lady who gave them to me is over 50 now, married and has 2 children who are married....no thanks
Either everyone I know really likes me or doesn't give a trout about my Christmas being hilarious.
My ex told me she just got a "toy" from her aunt. Later that same night, she described to me her session with it. She claims I'm a better toy.From her brother!?That doesn't sound like a joke gift, if anything more a request!!
Jack: How do you know?
Will: It's more of a feeling really.
Jack: Well, that's not scientific. Feeling isn't knowing. Feeling is believing. If you believe it, you can't know because there's no knowing what you believe. Then again, no one should believe what they know either. Once you know anything that anything becomes unbelievable if only by virtue of the fact you now... know it. You know?
Will: No.
If Demolition Man were remade today
Huxley: What's wrong? You broke contact.
Spartan: Contact? I didn't even touch you.
Huxley: Don't you want to make love?
Spartan: Is that what you call this? Why don't we just do it the old-fashioned way?
Huxley: NO!
Spartan: Whoa! Okay, calm down.
Huxley: Don't tell me to calm down!
Spartan: What's gotten into you? 'Cause it sure as hell wasn't me.
Huxley: Physical relations in the way of intercourse are no longer acceptable John Spartan.
Spartan: What? Why the hell not?
Huxley: It's the law, John. And for your information, the very idea that you suggested it makes me feel personally violated.
Spartan: Wait a minute... violated? Huxley what the hell are you accusing me of here?
Huxley: You need to leave, John.
Spartan: But Huxley.
Huxley: Get out!
Moments later Spartan is arrested for "violating" Huxley.
By the way, that's called satire. Get over it.
When I was 6-years-old, the only thing that rivaled my hatred of onions was that of peas. One time I literally sat at the dinner table for an hour and a half refusing to eat peas.
That Christmas, my grandfather thought he'd be brilliant and get a box the size of me (I was still wearing toddler-sized clothes at this point. I've always been tiny) and wrapped it so beautifully. Tons of bows.
In the smurfing bottom was a can of peas.
Can you guess what I got him for Christmas this year?
A Rolex?
You hold my heart in your manly hands I wanna feel the throb of your handsome gland. I wanna hold you tight like a newborn kitten, against my flesh like a cashmere mitten. Tickly tick, I'm makin' skin bump heaven and all the way down it's lookin' cleanly shaven. Prickety pricks, it's stubble on stubble I better slow down or I'm in real trouble. Want you, touch you, feel you, taste you! Knick knack whacky whack 'till I see the man stew. spin you around let me see that hole! I'm a tunnelin' in a like a short hair mole. Once I'm inside I'm gonna leave a trace, half in there and half on that face! One finger, two finger, there fingers gone! Mano a mano I love you John!
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