Joke of the day

[Gogolian]

Rabbit goes into a bar yelling:
- I F***ed fox wife! I F***ed fox wife!
Everybody goes:
- Yeah, that's great rabbit, but you're lucky that fox is not here.
Next day:
- I F***ed bear's wife! I F***ed bear's wife!
Everybody:
- Yeah, ok, rabbit but seriously someone will eventually beat the out of you!
Next day:
- I F***ed wolve's wife! I F***ed wolve's wife!
Wolf stand's from the corner:
- WHAT?! WAIT F**R I'll rip your legs off!!

So they begin the chase wol's chasing the rabbit, rabbit runs away,
and empty tree trunk stands in their way.
The rabbit goes in, the wolf tries as well but stucks. Want to go back, but is also stuck.
- RABBIT! JUST WAIT TILL I GET OFF HERE! YOU'RE DEAD, YU HEAR ME?!

Rabbit stands from the groud, goes behind the wolf, pulls his pants down:
- Nobody's gonna belive me this sh*t!

Post your daily jokes

[Formalhaut]

Okay okay, I've got a great one!

Why did the chicken cross the road?

...
To escape the KFC that opened on the same side!


Oh... hilarious....

[theundeadhero]

Two goldfish are in a tank.
One of them looks at the other and goes, "You know how to drive this thing"?

[Bubba]

Liverpool FC

[Mercen-X]

Two goldfish are in a tank.
One of them looks at the other and goes, "You know how to drive this thing"?

awesome

[Bubba]

Two guys are walking down the street when a mugger approaches them and demands their money. They both grudgingly pull out their wallets and begin taking out their cash. Just then one guy turns to the other and hands him a bill. He says... "Here’s that £20 I owe you,"

[Gogolian]

Hahahahahahahaha. XD

[Laddy]

Religious University.

[Formalhaut]

Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom and stayed there. Mary promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.

When the medical director became aware of Mary's heroic act he immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital as he now considered her to be mentally stable. When he went to tell Mary the news he said, "Mary, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged because since you were able to jump in and save the life of another patient, I think you've regained your senses. The bad news is Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry, but he's dead.

Mary replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry.

[Mercen-X]

*Ringtone*
Can I help you?
Hello, I'm looking for someone who may be there.
Name?
Hunt, first name Mike.
All right, I'll ask. Is there a Hunt here, a Mike Hunt? Has anyone seen Mike Hunt?
I'm sure he's there.
Just a second. Jerry! Have you seen Mike Hunt?
He should be there with his father, York. I'm sure you've seen him. Tall, white-blonde hair.
No, I haven't seen him.
Excuse me?
I said, I haven't seen York Hunt.
Not till our third date anyway.

[qwertysaur]

New Update of Final Fantasy Versus XIII:
They redid Noctus so you can see a nosehair that he forgot to trim.
Only took 3 years of development.
Next on the list is making the lights flicker at the gas station.

[chionos]

Just. I'm not a grammar nazi, I'm not. But, just.
(SPOILER)
Rabbit goes into a bar and yells:
- I smurfed Fox's wife! I smurfed Fox's wife!

Everybody goes:
- Yeah, that's great, Rabbit, but you're lucky that Fox is not here.

Next day:
- I smurfed Bear's wife! I smurfed Bear's wife!

Everybody:
- Yeah okay, Rabbit, but seriously someone will eventually beat the trout out of you!

Next day:
- I smurfed Wolf's wife! I smurfed Wolf's wife!

Wolf stands from the corner:
- WHAT!? Just you wait, smurfer, I'll rip your legs off!!

So they begin the chase. Wolf chases Rabbit, Rabbit runs away, until they come up on a hollow tree trunk standing in their way.

The rabbit dives in, and the wolf tries to as well, but gets stuck. He tries to to back out of the hole, but is stuck that way, too.

- RABBIT! JUST WAIT TILL I GET OFF HERE! YOU'RE DEAD, YOU HEAR ME!?

Rabbit crawls out from the tree trunk, goes behind the wolf, and pulls his pants down:
- Nobody's gonna believe this trout!

This was going to be a bam-bam three guys walk into a bar joke and then I just kept going and going, so now it's not a joke at all, and just some weird pointless story, but I don't like to delete things, so...
(SPOILER)
Psychotic, Del Murder, and Rantz walk into a bar in Heaven.

Rantz says, I'll have a Jack&Coke.

The bartender replies, I'm sorry, we don't serve spirits in Heaven.

Rantz laughs and says, That's cute, then what do you serve?

The angel says, pointing to the shelves behind him, You can see here, the dew of a Lily, fresh water from a mountain stream, and my personal favorite, a rain cloud.

Psychotic says, smurf this, I'm out, and turns to walk out the door.

The angel shrugs and asks Rantz and Murd which drink they'll have.

Rantz orders a cloud.

Del Murder says, I don't know. I'm kind of skeptical. I can get water anywhere, why would I want yours?
And he turns and walks out the door.

Rantz sits down at the bar. The angel hands the cloud to him and he lays his face in it and breaths in the moist air and sighs, and then he gets up, he lays all his money on the counter and walks out the door.

Psychotic says, We're taking you home, bud. You're smurfing drunk as trout. You called the bartender "Angel" and yelled at him to bring you a cloud.

Rantz says, What? I do so have my pants still my pants on. Do you want to see my underwear? I let Shorty touch my penis you know. I don't think she likes it but she humors me. Humors. Humors. Huuuuumors.

Psychotic says, God, Del, get his legs, we'll just carry him. Rantz, it was funny when you tried to get that woman's "monkey" to dance for you, but now I'm just tired and you're just a burden.

Del Murder asks, Best EoFF meet-up ever, or worst?

Psychotic says, That depends, Murd.

Del Murder, sighing, replies, On what, Psy, on what?

Psychotic says, On whether or not Shorty says "yes" when we trick Rantz into drunk proposing to her.


Want to hear a really bad one? I mean, it's terrible. Really.
What did the man say to the newly married duck couple in the hotel room beside his?Keep it down, I can hear every Shlupquack

What did the vagina say to the penis that killed him?Queef

[Lonely Paper Star]

What kind of concert is only 45 cents?

(SPOILER)50 Cent featuring Nickelback.

Why does Waldo wear stripes?

(SPOILER)He doesn't want to be spotted.