brackets are up:

Chicago's going to steamroll Minnesota in round one, Los Angeles in round two. Anaheim knocks Detroit in the dirt after four games, and we all know that orcas smurfing eat sharks. Vancouver beats Anaheim and then has to hear Chelsea Dagger sixteen times before Cory Schneider finally loses his smurfing mind and murders Roberto Luongo with a sharpened skate blade secretly enclosed in his goaltending stick.

Meanwhile, back East:

Nobody's beating Pittsburgh at this rate. Unless the Islanders chuck a bunch of virgins into a volcano to awaken Tim Thomas from his almost not quite retirement.