Doctors are such a RIP-OFF

[Shoeberto]

Do you feel lethargic?
Are you constantly ill with the common cold?
Fellas, are you not feeling as "manly" as you should?


Doctors will prescribe you "mystery" pills put out by Big Pharma.
Or send you to EXPENSIVE specialists.
And with medical costs so high these days, who can afford that?

THANKSFULLY THERE IS AN ANSWER TO YOUR AILMENT
QuantumMAN™ has released their line of QUANTUM MEDICINE!!!
What is "quantum" you ask?
Quantum regulates the barrier of human observation.
Quantum is the ground of unparalleled happiness.
Quantum fascinates the doorway to mortality.

QuantumMAN™ is the FIRST downloadable medicine
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Simply pick your desired treatment and receive the quantum brain instructions OVER THE WEB!
WOW!!!!!

I tried QLax™ for my stomach "problems" and was in the bathroom in SECONDS!
NEVER SEE ANOTHER DOCTOR AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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(click the image to place your order now; sorry, no CODs)

[Raistlin]

At first I thought this was a parody of Deepak Chopra and his ilk, who add "quantum" to bulltrout woo nonsense to make it sound more impressive.

But apparently this is real? I just... I'm speechless.

[Shoeberto]

At first I thought this was a parody of Deepak Chopra and his ilk, who add "quantum" to bulltrout woo nonsense to make it sound more impressive.

But apparently this is real? I just... I'm speechless.

IT IS REAL!!!!
And I was speechless upon finding this miraculous new service, as well!

Though certainly I'm sure he was inspired by the GREAT DOCTOR Chopra,
this is (as far as I know) totally unaffiliated!
Though maybe they should work together to promote this medical breakthrough!

~ LET US SHARE SOME OF OUR FAVORITE DR. CHOPRA QUOTES ~
~ TO PROVE THE POWER OF QUANTUM ~
"God meditates on infinite creativity"

"The ego undertakes intrinsic photons"


"Infinity shapes mortal positivity"

"Our consciousness is the continuity of boundless possibilities"

WOW!!!
What other kinds of truths can be illuminated by the power of QUANTUM?

[NeoCracker]

...Well. This is something alright.

[Shauna]

I...

What?

[CimminyCricket]

It's too bad I don't have $1000 to throw around for my health, because I'd love to have a lifetime immunity to meth.

[Bubba]

Praise the lord for the NHS.

[Madame Adequate]

Praise the lord for the NHS.

[Faris]

but if I stop taking the mystery pills my friends will disappear

[Old Manus]

Thanks to my glorious socialised medicine, we all get to experience the magic effects of QuantumMAN™ products for free!

[Bunny]

Praise the lord for the NHS.

God damn socialist scum.

[krissy]

honestly
i'm upset at myself
for not getting the idea to do this before these people

i could be rich

[DrAssenov]

This is a joke, right? I can't understand sarcasm too well on the internet (or in person, for that matter, lol.)

This reminds me of when I was done seeing patients for the morning and went into the hospital elevator. There were some other healthcare staff (being vague for privacy reasons) who were talking about this new diet they were on.

The B-HCG diet!

That's the hormone pregnant women secrete to keep them from dumping the baby out at the end of their cycle!

I couldn't believe how popular it was. SMH. Whoever started it must be making millions. Genius!

p.s. Doctors for the most part aren't the ones who set the prices, btw.

[Raistlin]

Ok, the big "COUNTERFEIT NOTICE" at the end just killed me.

Beware of imposters. Only Portal Access Keys™ (PAKs™) uploaded directly from this site (QuantumMANsite.com) are genuine and effective.

Yeah, I bet.

~ LET US SHARE SOME OF OUR FAVORITE DR. CHOPRA QUOTES ~
~ TO PROVE THE POWER OF QUANTUM ~
"God meditates on infinite creativity"

"The ego undertakes intrinsic photons"


"Infinity shapes mortal positivity"

"Our consciousness is the continuity of boundless possibilities"

WOW!!!
What other kinds of truths can be illuminated by the power of QUANTUM?

This reminds me of Richard Dawkins's great interview with that nutcase, where he accused Chopra of "exploiting quantum jargon as plausible-sounding hocus pocus." And then Chopra claims that scientists have "hijacked" the word "quantum" for their own uses, and that he should be able to use it however he damn well pleases. Ahahaha

[Clo]

I'LL TAKE FIVE.