Let's play Stand Guard v4.0

[Spooniest]

UNMARKED SPOILERS AHEAD.

Okay, I've finished my revision of Final Fantasy 6. I'm waiting to see if I can include a minor event tweak at one point in the game before I submit it to romhacking.net, but I figured since I like you guys so much, I'd let you see the 99.9% done version first.

https://dl.dropbox.com/u/33809435/ff6sg40.zip

This patch^ will need to be applied to a copy of Final Fantasy III (U) (V1.0), which I am legally constrained not to tell you how to get, unless I'm mistaken. I recommend Snes9x v1.53 to play this version, unless you're rich and can make yourself a repro cart. Don't ask me how that's done, by the way, because I'll respond with a big fat goose egg.

So let's fire this baby up!

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The Original Title screen patch is courtesy of Yazoo. I at one point wanted to make a custom title screen, as in Sky Render's FF6, but I failed at it pretty epically.

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I imagine I lose a lot of people right here. Not only is Banan's name spelled differently, but he's providing the opening narration and the War of the Magi, which I thought was too cumbersome a phrase, has been renamed "The Demon War," which I think is from one of Sky Render's versions, and I thought it sounded cool.

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The custom font for this game was designed by the romhacking.net user vivify93, who is a sexy bitch. I didn't think it was believable that exactly 1,000 years should be given as the figure of time, so I decided to obscure exactly how much time has passed since the war. I think it's sufficient to say that it was a really long goddamn time.

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I thought every other version of this line I've ever seen said too much, too soon. I wanted to tighten it up, because honestly, all the player needs to know at this point is "magic all up in this bitch."

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The actual quote is "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." It's usually attributed to Georges Santayana, but wikipedia seems to think a guy named Edmund Burke was the one who coined it. I thought it fitting, considering the rocky terrain.

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I wanted to make these guys actually sound like military officers who are on duty. The other versions of the game have them talking as though they've gone to a pub and are discussing this over a glass of ale. You'll notice it's "Biggs" now, to make the Star Wars reference clear. Though in Star Wars, Biggs and Wedge are members of the Rebellion, if I recall correctly.

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You'll notice that "Esper" is now "Eidolon," and I really don't think that needs much explanation. Also, "War" is capitalized to imply that they are discussing the Demon War specifically. People often refer to well publicized wars simply as "The War," and know what each other are talking about. Colloquial language was king of my efforts.

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My brother, who was in the Air Force, told me that it's not unusual for officers to use the word "intel," though not entirely common either. I thought this more interesting than lines about wild goose chases or "the urgency of our orders" which sounds robotic.

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What I want the player to notice is that he doesn't refer to Tina (she's called Tina in this hack) by any kind of gender or personhood reference; she is a "thing." This figures into a line coming up, as well.

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No longer are we restrained by Nintendo...I can say "kill" if I feel the need to. Also, exact figures on the number of soldiers and the time frame felt hokey to me.

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The operative word here is "slave." In the march toward Narshe, which is the third and final movement of "Omen," there is a misery, a sadness in the G minor key used. Tina starts out this game as property, committing a war crime against her will.

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Why can't this guy come back and put the kibosh on this "All The Bravest" horse trout?

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And why can't this guy (Nomura) go back to where he belongs, as Assistant Graphic Director? I guess what they say is true; wish and one hand and poo in the other, and see which one fills up faster.

Next time on LPFF6SG:

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That Magitek Armor is fully operational!

[Psychotic]

Wow it's pretty damn cool that you did a rewrite yourself. That's dedication.

[Zen Beoulve]

oh my god, great work. keep it up!

[Spooniest]

UNMARKED SPOILERS AHEAD

Part Two begins now!

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As you can see, the regular characters now have mechanical-themed alternate attacks. Nothing super-powerful or too game changing, though it is now possible to stun the first boss with the "Net" command.

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And apparently the last dog.

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Boy howdy the life insurance policies for Imperial Officers must be through the roof.

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This was a favorite line of mine. Nothing fancy, just "I got this."

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Intelligent input, Wedge, why don't you just have another beer then?

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Notice that the character is not identified by name just yet. And pay attention to the names given to NPC's now and again, I had some fun with those.

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Is she puking in this scene? What's the deal? I mean, to have amnesia, that requires some kind of concussion, you know, in real life. And when you have a concussion you throw up. It always seemed too easy when people have amnesia in video games.

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This is definitely not the last time a character says "Oh my God," something Nintendo wouldn't have allowed, but that people do, in fact, say, sometimes without even knowing it.

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Garth...that was a haiku.

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I said this in the "Tina or Terra" thread, but I prefer Tina as the name for the green-tressed magical destroyer of worlds...for the irony, I suppose.

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Without the last line, this could be taken out of context rather poorly.

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He used her last name! Which is very polite to do, you know, and he needs her to trust him, so he would be polite to her.

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Has anyone ever brought up that it's likely freezing cold out in Narshe at this time, with snow everywhere, and yet Tina is wearing something akin to a nightie? How come she don't get pneumonia? Does she use fire spells to keep warm? Is her garment a Magitek-powered heating pad? Is it drugs?

Up next...

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[Spooniest]

UNMARKED SPOILERS AHEAD

Well, here we go!

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Kefka was a fun character to write for. You can make him as nasty as you want to, there's no limit to his depravity.

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Ralph Wiggum: This is where I saw a leprechaun! He told me to burn things!
Leprechaun: Fine job, laddie! All ya gotta do now is burn the house down. BURN 'EM ALL!
Ralph: (Nods)

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It's "Ghastra..." idk, for the evulz. Notice also the word choice here, "masters of this world," to suggest "master race" and other stuff that breaks Godwin's Law.

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And, enter our not-the-main-character-unless-you're-a-guy hero, stage right.

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Yes this is another haiku. I'm not really sure if it follows all the rules for a haiku, but the structure of it is there.

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Bulltrout.

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He's a thief, and by the way, Locke has more dialogue than any other character. Read about it here.

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This was an important change, because the original script by Woolsey said that Imperial troops were pursuing her, but that's not what the player has just seen happening, nor is it what ends up happening, which you find out later.

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No name given for the resistance, I saved that for a later scene.

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Little more oblique with the NPC directions here, since there are NPCs later that direct you to do what Arvis usually says here (Talk to the king).

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Notice that the Marshal is given that title during his dialogue.

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This was two lines in version 3.1, but in version 4.0 I've trimmed it to one line. There was a lot of that, text reformatting and stuff.

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Just a quick once-over for those of you wondering what the Moogles are called. These names are taken from Tom Slattery's version (the GBA version).

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Why don't I press it and see???

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Another line trimmed from two lines to one.

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She gives her last name, and also, the line about her mind being trapped in a fog is added in version 4.0, straight from the GBA version.

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I think this line got cobbled together from all the various versions I've read. I wanted to get it out of the way quickly, and give it some flow.

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Changed verbiage here...

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Just wanted to show you something quick. The Sprint Shoes are now the Wingboots, and they're super expensive. They come with stat boosts...also, you start with a Ward Bangle, so you have the option of reduced encounters if you like.

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Since the Wingboots are equipped on Tina, she receives a slight boost to her magic. Also, this was the only encounter I had on the way to Figaro.

NEXT TIME!!

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HOW ARE YOU, GENTLEMEN?

SIDE NOTE:

I made a thing. It's 1024x768. It can go on a desktop.

[Spooniest]

UNMARKED SPOILERS AHEAD

Played it some more...it is Saturday, after all.

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"EVERY GIRL CRAZY BOUT A SHARP-DRESSED MAN" ...I was tempted to quote the ZZ Top song, but I toned it down to be just a hair less ridiculous.

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You tell him, sis.

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Slick.

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A friend of mine tripped over the word "treats" in this context. Like when countries have a treaty, it means they've discussed terms under which they will not carry out aggression against each other...etc.

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Slick.

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Tina is glad she brought her boots, cuz it's getting deep in here.

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Son of a...!

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This line seemed to want to be heavily implied to keep the characterization from becoming anvilicious.

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This is a rather drastic change that people have been puzzled by.

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Wait for it...

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(I suppose it's worth noting that if you rename Edgar something like Steve, this is no longer a haiku)

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Check his entry on the Character Sheet over at TV Tropes. It's here. That's where I got this romanization...I'm not sure how accurate it is but I think it sounds different. And I was always puzzled by "Sabin" because nobody is named "Sabin." (shrug)

NEXT: You-know-who.

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[Spooniest]

UNMARKED SPOILERS AHEAD

Got a lot of ground to cover this time so let's get to it!

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As I mentioned before, Kefka is fun to write for.

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He's a total rageaholic, a complete malcontent.

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Veteran players will get the call forward here.

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Bastard.

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I enjoy this line every time.

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I thought this tightened up nicely.

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As did this...

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...And this.

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Edgar's first moment to show that he's not taking trout from anyone.

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This line always seemed funny because there are exactly four women in Figaro, if you're not counting South Figaro, in which case there are nine, before the Returner Hideout, that is.

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Just a sinister, nasty son of a bitch, he is.

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I want a Kefka punching bag.

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Locke's line is directly from the Slattery (GBA) version. I thought it important here that Edgar not yet refer to Tina by name, as there is a line later that concerns him remembering her name.

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The ellipse at the end of this line in the other versions seemed to indicate careful thought, but I don't think that's what's on Edgar's mind at the moment at all. He wasn't born yesterday, and he knows Kefka is on to him. He's getting started planning their escape right now. He's already decided what to do, and he's going about setting it in motion.

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Woolsey has him flirting some more here, but Slattery's line about tea and crumpets sounds a lot more serious and, well...kingly.

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And Locke is properly introduced to Tina. I should note that you can still name Locke something like Steve if you want, and he will simply be Steve Cole here.

NEXT TIME

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[Spooniest]

UNMARKED SPOILERS AHEAD

In every RPG there is a moment when the first basic plot thread is laid out. In Final Fantasy I, you get it from talking to the King of Cornelia and finding out that a princess has been abducted. In Chrono Trigger, it's Lucca's speech to Crono when he's picked up the pendant and got on the telepod. "I don't know where this is going to send you, but we don't have any other choice." Final Fantasy IV has the text crawl at the beginning, being the goodie two shoes that it is.

In Final Fantasy VI, this scene is the moment where the game gives you the first real bit of plot development. And it's one of the best, if not the best, of those listed above.

So let's mosey!

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I thought Locke wouldn't yell at Tina. I know it's supposed to be funny but Locke's been around the block a couple of times, he wouldn't yell at somebody who'd lost their memory.

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Here's where we get the Returners named for the first time...

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And Jun Arvis...there were multiple names for this character, so I just combined them into one name.

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(...Into a God-awful troutstorm...)

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Toss a coin?

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This was always Commander Riker's big line on Star Trek: The Next Generation. Usually he'd take his foot off of the thing it was propped up on for his "heroic stance" first. Usually.

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MMmmmmm...barbecue

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Instead of Beavis and Butthead, as in Woolsey, I'm quoting That 70's Show's Michael Kelso.

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I thought "Seems I have no choice...or maybe I do" was ridiculous and sophomoric...

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...And this is what I changed it to.

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This is this guy's only real line of dialogue in the main plot. You don't have to talk to him, ever.

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Someone who worked at Nintendo to make sure there was nobody in their games who said "kill" will see this and probably make a cup of tea and smile.

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I wonder if the reason the Magitek Armors don't do anything while they're talking about trout is that they can't see the party. It seems elementary, but that's how I'd do it on film, or if I were animating it.

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Yeah, u mad bro?

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MA (pause) GIC!

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smurfing. Magic.

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This is the line where Edgar remembers her name for the first time.

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"Quite startled me" is from the Slattery.

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People seem to think this line is some sort of sticking point. I wrote my own to distance this version from such thinking.

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Well of course you're scared, if I'd been out all day in the desert in a slip, I'd be scared too!

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And we're off!

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Banan: So this is the woman who went into the Narshe mountains in a nightie...

NEXT TIME: MY 100th screen cap (cuz apparently there's a limit on the number of pictures I can post at one time...)

[Spooniest]

UNMARKED SPOILERS AHEAD

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This is screen grab #100, for people who enjoy keeping count of things.

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And here's where Edgar sticks his big fat royal foot into his big fat royal mouth.

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;_;

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What I call this is a game's "Manifesto." It's telling you, in a nutshell, what this game is about. And what I like about this scene is that it doesn't really even hint at what's coming. But this game is about the problems Tina has with being what she is, and this is the basic expression of that problem.

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I've always been fond of this exchange.

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Tina: Who?
Edgar: You know, the guy who narrated the intro.
Tina: What?

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Public speaking: not something thieves do a lot.

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There's no real resolution to this version of the scene. It's just "Tina, we should go see Banan." Tina: "I dunno..." "Well, let's go to South Figaro." The scene now ends without a decision about whether they will go see Banan or not.

NEXT TIME:

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Through the cave and eastward...

[the_best_noob]

I absolutely love it. The Figaro part just made me die laughing, though I think Edgar's haiku made him sound more like a drug dealer than anything else. When I saw Well-Dressed Man I just lost it completely, along with the possibly unintentional sexual joke with "You've been busy down south. Looking for another conquest?" I must say, the change in the lines Edgar has when he brings out Terra/Tina and jumps on the chocobos was a bittersweet change. I liked the new one, but the old lines gave you that quick feeling that Edgar was going to ditch her and run away, which tends to give you the feeling of smurf you, Edgar and than appreciating him for A. Saving Terra and Locke and B. Building a castle that sinks into the sand. tl;dr it was great and Figaro was the best part

[Spooniest]

UNMARKED SPOILERS that spoil things AHEAD

Of all the first towns in any RPG I've ever played, South Figaro is where I want to live.

On with the show!

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Sharp-eyed readers may notice a certain black-cloaked figure at the bottom of this shot.

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As if you expect him to be like "Hi there."

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Edgar's just about to have an apoplectic.

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I'm sorry, am I supposed to be up on all the latest people running around in broad daylight in black pajamas, Edgar?!

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Oh.

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I'd be surprised if there were anyone who's never heard that the Japanese word for shadow is "Kage." Also, I thought an immediate threat to Locke's life would make this bit of dialogue more incisive...if you'll pardon the pun.

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Isn't he worried? I mean, wouldn't human flesh make the dog fat and sick? I'm not really up on my biology here.

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The rest of South Figaro is largely unchanged. Mrs. Duncan (formerly Duncan's Wife) now has a proper title.

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Notice Leo has a last name. The only character who doesn't get their last name mentioned is Kefka, because giving him last name privileges humanized him too much. Although, I may have just misspoke, because I believe Cid has an amazingly hard to remember last name, that I just plain don't know.

On to Macias' Cabin...

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If I knew anything about graphics hacking and didn't care about maintaining a serious tone, I'd stick a Ryo Sakazaki poster in this room.

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Star Wars reference. Not the last one, either.

Anyway, up the mountain we go. You've likely been up Mt. Kolts before, if you're reading this, so let's cut right to the chase, shall we?

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It should be noted here that it's awfully difficult having the nametag take up a whole line by itself, especially when two people are speaking within the same text bubble. I had to be really economical with lines like that, but I wanted to keep them in, to preserve the rhythm and "feel" of the Woolsey script.

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This guy...doesn't mess around!!!

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Pretty standard fight against Vargas. I don't try for the Mithril Claw, I just pound on him until...

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NEXT TIME

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[Spooniest]

UNMARKED SPOILERS AHEAD

I have to admit this is one of my very favorite lines.

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None of this "do in your own father" business.

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The Kill Bill quote here is pretty apt, I think. Anyway the rest of the conversation is boring so

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Suffice it to say...

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There is absolutely no romhacker out there skilled enough to make this the Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique.

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But I can make THIS the Zan Retsu Ken! (I was playing a lot of Art of Fighting at the time I first started work on Stand Guard).

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Eat trout, Vargas.

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He could say "The brothers are reunited!!" And we could all drool like the primates we would be for accepting that as his dialogue here. Or I can change it.

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I understand this is a popular line among LBGTers, but I really have no use for such information besides mentioning it during a Let's Play.

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I feel this sequence of lines serves to characterize Macias as a bit of a hothead, and show how the two are foils for each other, with Edgar calm and measured, and Macias just plain excited about everything.

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This didn't need to be put in two separate text bubbles, but I wanted to once again preserve the rhythm and "feel" of Woolsey's version, since it's the one I'm most familiar with.

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These are lines I wrote myself.

TRY NEXT STAGE!

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[the_best_noob]

Ok, Shadow's haiku made up for Edgars. Will this be made available for download at some point?

[Spooniest]

It's currently up at Romhacking.net - Hacks - Final Fantasy VI: Stand Guard. It's also at the top of this page.

[Spooniest]

UNMARKED SPOILERS AHEAD

Let's do it to it!

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I think it's important that Tina be referred to as a woman if we're going to be parading her around in a nightie, don't you?

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Ah, the 101st Armored Corps...poor bastards never knew what hit em.

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This wasn't a hard decision, but I left all of this nearly exactly as it was.

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I have this idea that keeps coming back of this line being said with really bad voice acting...I think I was trying to keep myself sane while script editing.

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Told.

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I thought it fitting to get the story straight here. The censorship of this game really bothers me to this day. What were they afraid I would think?

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This set of lines cleaned up nice. Now let's go see Macias.

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Tomato's straight from Slattery on the GBA.
And Edgar...

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On the one hand, it does seem right that Tina be offered a choice. On the other hand, is this whole routine just a way of saying that Tina needs to be able to join without getting her girly feelings hurt? Either way you cut it, this scene is a great way of building tension and giving the player a sense of time passing. Anyway, time to talk to Banan.

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I'm going to say no the first time, to get...

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...The Genji Glove, because the only thing better than dakka is moar dakka.

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Anyway, now I'm gonna go back and say "Yes," so we can see the strategy meeting.

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I was playing a lot of Phantasy Star II at the time this was written. Every battle ends with "ROLF and party were victorious!"

NEXT TIME:

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