Let's Talk About Fallout

[Shoeberto]

I just wiped out the Van Graffs for the Brotherhood, because hell yeah power armor.

I'm not sure what my favorite is because it's been so long since I played 1 and 2. New Vegas is certainly superior to 3 but the DC Wasteland was pretty cool, especially dicking around in the National Mall. Too bad the story was weak.

I might actually play the New Vegas DLC which I've never really done in any game ever.

[Psychotic]

Oh, don't get me wrong, I murdered the Van Graffs too once I beat their questline. I murder most folk, it's just a matter of murdering the most loathsome (see: Cassidy) first.

[Shorty]

WHAT DO YOU HAVE AGAINST DRUNK REDHEADED GUNSLINGER COWGIRLS

[Psychotic]

Is this about you or is this about Cass?

Not that it matters, I'd merrily kill either one of you

[Shorty]

[Psychotic]

Sorry, I just have to rid the wasteland of colossal dorks. It's like that sniper you see in the outpost where you meet Cass. "Yeah, my name's Ghost and I'm a sniper! You never know I'm there 'til I kill you!" is... is this ironic? Is that what this is? ...no? Oh. Right. Well. Thanks for the chat, but now I'm going to have to cave your skull in.

And similarly my courier would take one look at you and go "No. Just... what the smurf. No. I am not standing for this." and I'd be compelled to chainsaw you.

[Shorty]

You'd have to catch me first!

[Psychotic]

Well if you're going to be like that I'd just bring the Experimental MIRV down on your head but where is the fun in that?

Actually, there is a lot of fun in that. I beat every smurfing resident in Megaton to death with the Dismemberer, piled all of their limbs and torsos together in the centre of town, and then fired into it with the MIRV. There were only tiny little fleshy coloured marbles left, each one saying "Search Lucas Simms" or "Search Wastelander" when highlighted.

And that's when I defused the bomb and saved the town from the horrors of nuclear weaponry.

[Shorty]

You, sir, are a monster.

[Psychotic]

The noise he makes give me an erection, I'm not going to lie.

[Shorty]

WHAT THE smurf IS THAT

[Psychotic]

That, my dear Sarah bear, is charcoal. And a lot of very angry hippies. You'd think they'd be a little bit more chilled out being hippies and all but nope, brutally burning a living tree they worship as a god really pisses them off. C'est la vie!

[Shorty]

He looks horrifying! Where the smurf is that!

[Psychotic]

Oasis, Fallout 3. You never did the Oasis quest? Man, that was one of the better ones in Fallout 3 in terms of the moral choice involved. You missed out!

Also, is it wrong that as I cheerfully torched Harold and his hippie followers I burst into song, serenading them with "I don't want to set the world on fire, I just want to start a flame in your heart"?

[Shorty]

Nooo, I only made it like, a quarter of the way into the game last time I played. I have no idea how that is possible because I still logged dozens of hours.

Yes, that is wrong and cruel and ironic.