About Lorena Bobbit... She chopped off a dick. Beware of that contestant, dude.
About Lorena Bobbit... She chopped off a dick. Beware of that contestant, dude.
Apparently, I have been declared banished.
To the tune of "The Beverly Hillbillies"
Well, listen to the story 'bout a love gone wrong
Poor ol' Mr. Bobbitt dearly loved his precious dong
Then one day when he pushed her way to far
She snipped off Mr. Happy and tossed it from the car
Well, the cops found his weiner and they took it to the doc
Koppel and Chung said they found it 'neath a rock
Covered with old stickers and a bottle cap or two
It wasn't what it had been but it would have to do
Well, the doctors started sewing but they made a little slip
Instead of near the middle they attached it to his hip
And now when Mr. Happy wants to feel that old delight
A hand's in Bobbitt's pocket (that's his left and not his right)
((I first saw this filksong twenty years ago, within a month or so of the Bobbitt incident making the news; I'm surprised I remembered roughly how it went. It apparently never made it to the internet since I couldn't find it on google))
yeah! now I remember. But they had to chop off his finger to use as a replacement down there didn't they?
Also, if my prick were ever lopped by anyone, I would take my revenge most aggregiously. No court date for that ...witch.
Jack: How do you know?
Will: It's more of a feeling really.
Jack: Well, that's not scientific. Feeling isn't knowing. Feeling is believing. If you believe it, you can't know because there's no knowing what you believe. Then again, no one should believe what they know either. Once you know anything that anything becomes unbelievable if only by virtue of the fact you now... know it. You know?
Will: No.
If Demolition Man were remade today
Huxley: What's wrong? You broke contact.
Spartan: Contact? I didn't even touch you.
Huxley: Don't you want to make love?
Spartan: Is that what you call this? Why don't we just do it the old-fashioned way?
Huxley: NO!
Spartan: Whoa! Okay, calm down.
Huxley: Don't tell me to calm down!
Spartan: What's gotten into you? 'Cause it sure as hell wasn't me.
Huxley: Physical relations in the way of intercourse are no longer acceptable John Spartan.
Spartan: What? Why the hell not?
Huxley: It's the law, John. And for your information, the very idea that you suggested it makes me feel personally violated.
Spartan: Wait a minute... violated? Huxley what the hell are you accusing me of here?
Huxley: You need to leave, John.
Spartan: But Huxley.
Huxley: Get out!
Moments later Spartan is arrested for "violating" Huxley.
By the way, that's called satire. Get over it.
Awe dammit. I'd of loved to participate. Its like the bachelor but...on eoff.
What came first...the egg or the chocobo?
Don't worry, there will be games in the future.Originally Posted by Foob
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