Me: So, do you have any medical conditions, like high blood pressure or diabetes?
Patient: Dia-what?

Me: Di-uh-bee-tees.

Patient: What's that?

Me: It's when you have problems with blood sugar.

Patient: Oh, that's right,! Yeah I got the sugahs!

Me: (please, Vanessa, do not laugh, omg so f'ing hilarious)