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Thread: The answers thread

  1. #91
    Banished Ace Recognized Member Agent Proto's Avatar
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    • Former Cid's Knight

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    How would you like to suffer?

    The right door.

    Apparently, I have been declared banished.

  2. #92

    Default

    What did the pervert say when he stumbled into the women's locker room?

    I really could start to get used to this.
    Jack: How do you know?

    Will: It's more of a feeling really.

    Jack: Well, that's not scientific. Feeling isn't knowing. Feeling is believing. If you believe it, you can't know because there's no knowing what you believe. Then again, no one should believe what they know either. Once you know anything that anything becomes unbelievable if only by virtue of the fact you now... know it. You know?

    Will: No.

    If Demolition Man were remade today

    Huxley: What's wrong? You broke contact.
    Spartan: Contact? I didn't even touch you.
    Huxley: Don't you want to make love?
    Spartan: Is that what you call this? Why don't we just do it the old-fashioned way?
    Huxley: NO!
    Spartan: Whoa! Okay, calm down.
    Huxley: Don't tell me to calm down!
    Spartan: What's gotten into you? 'Cause it sure as hell wasn't me.
    Huxley: Physical relations in the way of intercourse are no longer acceptable John Spartan.
    Spartan: What? Why the hell not?
    Huxley: It's the law, John. And for your information, the very idea that you suggested it makes me feel personally violated.
    Spartan: Wait a minute... violated? Huxley what the hell are you accusing me of here?
    Huxley: You need to leave, John.
    Spartan: But Huxley.
    Huxley: Get out!
    Moments later Spartan is arrested for "violating" Huxley.

    By the way, that's called satire. Get over it.

  3. #93
    Not Stacey's Mom the_best_noob's Avatar
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    What do you say the first time you smoke pot?

    Too hot to handle
    Forward, the Light Brigade!'
    Was there a man dismay'd?
    Not tho'(though) the soldiers knew
      Some one had blunder'd:
    Theirs not to make reply,
    Theirs not to reason why,
    Theirs but to do and die:
    Into the valley of Death
      Rode the six hundred.


    Cannon to right of them,
    Cannon to left of them,
    Cannon in front of them
      Volley'd and thunder'd;
    Storm'd at with shot and shell,
    Boldly they rode and well,
    Into the jaws of Death,
    Into the mouth of Hell
      Rode the six hundred.

  4. #94
    'Just Friends' Formalhaut's Avatar
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    Default

    What is a flaming hot iron?


    Probably once or twice at least.


  5. #95

    Default

    How many times a night do you fap?

    Slackers.
    Jack: How do you know?

    Will: It's more of a feeling really.

    Jack: Well, that's not scientific. Feeling isn't knowing. Feeling is believing. If you believe it, you can't know because there's no knowing what you believe. Then again, no one should believe what they know either. Once you know anything that anything becomes unbelievable if only by virtue of the fact you now... know it. You know?

    Will: No.

    If Demolition Man were remade today

    Huxley: What's wrong? You broke contact.
    Spartan: Contact? I didn't even touch you.
    Huxley: Don't you want to make love?
    Spartan: Is that what you call this? Why don't we just do it the old-fashioned way?
    Huxley: NO!
    Spartan: Whoa! Okay, calm down.
    Huxley: Don't tell me to calm down!
    Spartan: What's gotten into you? 'Cause it sure as hell wasn't me.
    Huxley: Physical relations in the way of intercourse are no longer acceptable John Spartan.
    Spartan: What? Why the hell not?
    Huxley: It's the law, John. And for your information, the very idea that you suggested it makes me feel personally violated.
    Spartan: Wait a minute... violated? Huxley what the hell are you accusing me of here?
    Huxley: You need to leave, John.
    Spartan: But Huxley.
    Huxley: Get out!
    Moments later Spartan is arrested for "violating" Huxley.

    By the way, that's called satire. Get over it.

  6. #96
    Not Stacey's Mom the_best_noob's Avatar
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    Default

    If you don't have at least 3 drinks, what are you?

    A distinctive lack of pixels
    Forward, the Light Brigade!'
    Was there a man dismay'd?
    Not tho'(though) the soldiers knew
      Some one had blunder'd:
    Theirs not to make reply,
    Theirs not to reason why,
    Theirs but to do and die:
    Into the valley of Death
      Rode the six hundred.


    Cannon to right of them,
    Cannon to left of them,
    Cannon in front of them
      Volley'd and thunder'd;
    Storm'd at with shot and shell,
    Boldly they rode and well,
    Into the jaws of Death,
    Into the mouth of Hell
      Rode the six hundred.

  7. #97
    'Just Friends' Formalhaut's Avatar
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    What does a book have?


    Haha! How did you know


  8. #98
    *permanently smitten*
    A Vey Good Friend
    Calliope's Avatar
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    Grin

    You're new here, aren't you?

    Roses and tomatoes.

  9. #99
    Trial by Wombat Bubba's Avatar
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    • Former Cid's Knight

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    What two things must you never mix up when making a sald?

    My tongue

  10. #100
    Not Stacey's Mom the_best_noob's Avatar
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    Default

    What are all the ladies jealous of?

    The color of vomit, mixed with yellow and green food coloring and Smirnoff
    Forward, the Light Brigade!'
    Was there a man dismay'd?
    Not tho'(though) the soldiers knew
      Some one had blunder'd:
    Theirs not to make reply,
    Theirs not to reason why,
    Theirs but to do and die:
    Into the valley of Death
      Rode the six hundred.


    Cannon to right of them,
    Cannon to left of them,
    Cannon in front of them
      Volley'd and thunder'd;
    Storm'd at with shot and shell,
    Boldly they rode and well,
    Into the jaws of Death,
    Into the mouth of Hell
      Rode the six hundred.

  11. #101
    'Just Friends' Formalhaut's Avatar
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    What did Sam serve you for a romantic meal?


    Meat Feast!


  12. #102
    Trial by Wombat Bubba's Avatar
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    • Former Cid's Knight

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    What is a cannibal's favourite type of pizza?

    I'd say about twelve

  13. #103
    'Just Friends' Formalhaut's Avatar
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    Default

    How many times have you gone to the toilet today?


    Strawberry!


  14. #104
    Trial by Wombat Bubba's Avatar
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    • Former Cid's Knight

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    What do your nipples taste of?

    I just use a towel.

  15. #105
    Banished Ace Recognized Member Agent Proto's Avatar
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    • Former Cid's Knight

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    You used what to cover yourself with?!

    Livin la vida loca

    Apparently, I have been declared banished.

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