Since the "EoFF Plays..." thread is mainly for organizing a group to play D&D/Pathfinder online, I thought creating a new thread just for sharing ideas and tales of random exploits may be more appropriate than filling the existing thread with such shenanigans.
I joined a new D&D campaign not too long ago. After a bit of debate, the DM decided to start us off at level 4. I rolled a bard, of course, and I must say that our lawful good monk is very lucky that I'm evil. He would be dead right now if I hadn't incapacitated him and sold him as a ritual sacrifice for my own freedom. And, more importantly, I'd be dead.
The long version:
While searching for an amulet in a cave, we came across an altar containing instructions for a ritual to open a portal of some sort. The steps for the ritual, scribed in undercommon, included sacrificing an unwilling subject. Naturally, we assumed it was crafted by drow, but I assured my two companions, the monk and the true neutral warmage, that my diplomacy skills were sufficient and that no harm would fall upon me if we should encounter any drow.
As we traveled deeper into the cave, the rough walls became finely worked stone. There were a few signs that the cave was inhabited. For example, I managed to spot a pressure plate that triggered an arrow trap on the ground. Naturally, I distracted the warmage who was leading the party and advised the monk to take the lead, causing him to trigger the trap and take the damage for us. Despite this and a few other things, we never actually saw the inhabitants of the cave... until they ambushed us!
A group of seven drow surrounded us. Their leader proceeded to cast Summon Monster 3 for additional assistance.
[Note that this is a 3rd level spell, requiring at least a level 5 spellcaster. For those of you who are not good at math, a drow's +2 level adjustment puts the leader's minimum ECL (effective character level) at 7, and his minions' ECL at 3. We're ECL 4, and now outnumbered 8-to-3. There's no way we could have taken them.]
Before threatening to attack, they made us a very attractive offer: They would tell us where the amulet we were sent to find was and let us go if we brought them one of the villagers to use in the ritual scribed on the altar we had found earlier.
Despite this being an extremely good deal on our end, and despite the fact that we were grossly outnumbered by a swarm of creatures that could certainly kill us without breaking a sweat, the monk insisted on refusing the offer. The drow attacked, and dropped all of us below half health in a single round.
Being the reasonable and evil bard I am, I attempted to convince the drow leader to let the warmage and myself go in exchange for the monk. The monk didn't like the idea, though; I had to incapacitate him with Tasha's Hideous Laughter to prevent him from putting up a fight and getting himself killed.
As soon as he was beaten unconscious and shackled, I asked the drow leader for another deal: Since it doesn't matter who is sacrificed for the ritual, as long as the subject is unwilling, I asked if we could have the monk back in exchange for one of the villagers. He agreed.
Drow: You have three days to return before we proceed with the ritual.
Me: Three days? This won't take twelve hours!
Drow: Okay then, you have twelve hours. If you're not back by then, we'll assume you've abandoned you "friend" and start the ritual early.
Monk: *Cringe*
Me: Sounds reasonable to me. See you in six hours!
Monk: *Facepalm*
And so, I returned to town with the warmage and tracked down the NPC who had sent us into the cave to retrieve the amulet we were originally searching for. We told her exactly what had happened in the cave: That we had found some information that may lead to the amulet, that our monk was incapacitated by the hazards of the cave, and that we needed a good-hearted person like herself to both save the monk and to unlock the secret of the amulet's whereabouts. For some reason, despite being entirely truthful, I had to roll a bluff check for that conversation... but, she could not resist my bard-ish charm and agreed to join us.
Another nearby NPC heard us mention the amulet and asked how much we were being paid to find it. With a bit of persuasion, I convinced him to offer us a bit more gold than the original quest NPC had offered. Surely, this NPC's appearance was just the DM's way of seeing that we still get a reward for the quest even after the original questgiver is killed off. And the session ended there, with the monk still imprisoned and the warmage and myself preparing to rescue him.
I have yet to find a way to prevent the monk from killing me for having him beaten into unconsciousness and imprisoned, and then luring an innocent and unsuspecting NPC to her death in exchange for his freedom. I'll be sure to let you know how that plays out when the time comes.
The short version:
While searching a cave for an amulet, we encountered a large group of drow. Our lawful good monk decided to rub his holier-than-thou attitude in their faces and nearly got us all killed. Since he was the one endangering the rest of us, I swiftly stabbed him in the back and allowed the drow to hold him as ransom while the warmage and I went to acquire another suitable sacrifice for their ritual.