Let's Play Final Fantasy: Mystic Quest

[Slothy]

Since most people probably haven't played the most under appreciated game Square ever made, why not watch as I play through it for you? Complete with my usual charming lack of wit.

Untitled.jpg
Yes, this game did come out AFTER Final Fantasy IV.

where's my village.jpg
Dude, all my stuff was there.

3 - what do you care you ride a cloud.jpg
That's not an answer!

4 - the cloud only has room for one.jpg
The flying cloud only seats one.

5 - mountain collapsed somehow safe 2 feet away.jpg
Could have sworn there was a mountain there.

6 - lets dawdle on the collapsing mountain.jpg
Mountain's collapsing beneath us? Must be story time.

7 story time on mount doom.jpg
There's no caption for this one. It's really just here for completeness. Though Vile 4 will totally be the name of my new band.

8 I was just out for a walk I swear.jpg
I bet you say that to all the confused young men on collapsing mountains.

9 - still not sure why we have time for this.jpg
It was nice of the mountain to stop collapsing long enough for you to explain all this.

10 you sure do like to ramble.jpg11 - well need help if we dont move soon.jpg
Not sure I'm going to like where this is going.

12 - Im not even sure Ill make it off this mountain.jpg
I'm not even sure I'm going to make it off this mountain if you keep yammering like this.

14 - qualifications include jumping single tile gaps.jpg
I ran into you on a collapsing mountain after all. What more proof do you need?

15 - oh trout son.jpg
We could have been gone by now.

16 - this looks fair.jpg
Sure, this doesn't look one sided at all.

17 - have at thee.jpg
You can't see it, but I wiggle my butt to distract my enemy.

18 - not so tough without those horns.jpg
Not so tough without your horns!

19 - oh trout he picked them up off the ground.jpg
Oh trout, he found the horns! He found the horns!

20 - some hero of destiny.jpg
Huh, guess I'm not the Hero of Destiny.

For the record, I didn't even know it was possible to lose this first battle, but here we are one critical hit later.

21 - sure let me just reattach my arm.jpg
Sure, just give me a sec to put my insides back on the inside.

22 - thats more like it.jpg
Seconds later and a more favourable result.

23 - dude I smurfing died back there.jpg
Dude, I smurfing died back there.

24 - lying prick.jpg
He does seem to be a poor judge of character.

25 - son of a bitch.jpg
Son of a bitch!

[Slothy]

26 - cough em up old man.jpg
Cough 'em up old man!

27 - SON OF A BITCH.jpg
SON OF A BITCH!

28 - I guess there will be leveling.jpg
Can I assume some leveling will be involved?

29 - yeah were smurfing confused too.jpg
Yeah, we're confused too kid.

30 - spoiler alert you probably never find out.jpg
Spoiler alert: you probably never find out.

31 - another needy old guy.jpg
In the leveling forest we find another needy old guy shoving his problems onto someone else.

32 - dont feel obligated to move or anything.jpg
Don't feel obligated to step aside or anything. I'll just jump over you instead.

33 - they thought long and hard about that name.jpg
Foresta? They thought long and hard about that name.

34 - something that will get you arrested in most states.jpg
Whoah old man! Keep it in your pants.

35 - not sure if euphamism.jpg
Not sure if euphemism...

36 - Foresta where people live in trees.jpg
Foresta: where people quite literally live in trees.

37 - this is kaeli and theres a tree in the forest.jpg
This is Kaeli and there's a tree in the forest.

38 - these people are the trusting sort.jpg
She's the trusting sort.

39 - first reasonable thing anyones said all game.jpg
First reasonable thing someone's said all game long.

40 - Ive had enough of your jibber jabber.jpg
I've had enough of your jibber jabber.

41 - should have seen the guy it fell off of.jpg
Should have seen the guy who gave it to me.

42 - Yeah its not like they get hollowed out for homes or anything.jpg
Yeah, it's not like you hollow them out for your homes or anything.

43 - just running off to a dangerous forest with a stranger who showed me an old mans wither.jpg
Just running off to a dangerous forest with a stranger who showed me an old man's wither. I'll be back by 9:00.

44 - and she has more health and a big axe is the old guy sure Im the knight.jpg
And she's got more health than me and a big axe. Is that old guy really sure I'm this knight of legend?

45 - its a good thing shes so concerned about her daughter running off with me.jpg
And any concern for her daughter has melted away.

46 - yeah he might get a bit of a sunburn without his hat.jpg
Yeah, he might get a bit of a sunburn without his cap. That might hurt a bit. And don't get me started on the peeling.

47 - is it stealing if Kaelis with me.jpg
Is it stealing if Kaeli's with me?

48 - just adding some speed holes to the sheets so the bed will go faster.jpg
Just adding some speed holes to the sheets so the bed will go faster. Don't you know anything Flanders?

49 - yeah and Im a hero of legend.jpg
Yeah, and I'm a hero of legend.

50 - finally get a line on the loot.jpg
Finally got a line on the loot.

[Slothy]

51 - slipping in the back to help myself to some privisions.jpg
Don't mind me. Just sneaking in the back to help myself to some provisions. Try not to break a limb before I get this back to you.

52 - it only took several decades.jpg
It only took several decades.

53 - great even the young hotty is crazy.jpg
Ah great, even the young hotty is crazy. Probably should be a bit more careful when picking up traveling companions. Especially when they carry a giant axe.

54 - only if youll join me.jpg
Will you be joining me? I mean, I kind of have this thing going with this other girl but I've heard she's a little off balance if you know what I me- *axe to the head*

55 - am I the only one who didnt know about the prophecy.jpg
Am I the only one who hasn't heard this prophecy?

56 onwards and upwards.jpg
Guess it's time to chop some trees and start some fires.

That's it for now. You'll be pleased to know that we're through like, 1% of the game. On the plus side though, we're through about 25% of the useful exposition. Yes, I am serious. Join me next time when we continue on through the Level Forest and head to the bone dungeon to save the Earth Crystal. I know that's what's coming because some old people told me.

[Formalhaut]

Never heard of this game, like, ever.

However, I find your commentary entirely amusing and witty (And sarcastic. Love sarcasm) so I shall keep watching! Also, two free rep points for you!

[Greatermaximus]

I know I need a better vocabulary but that's what I call self-incrimination/indoctrination.

[Pumpkin]

This is great, I look forward to reading more.

[Citizen Bleys]

Thread subscribed.

[Slothy]

1 - more effective than poking it with my sword.jpg
More effective than poking it with my sword.

2 - I seem to recall hearing something about this north exit some 2 minutes ago.jpg
I seem to recall hearing about this north exit not two minutes ago. From you no less.

3 - Square shows its racial sensitivity.jpg
Square demonstrating their racial sensitivity.

4 - Kaeli kills one and I wound another am I really the hero here.jpg
Kaeli kills one outright while I just wound the second. There's an old guy on a cloud I should introduce her to I think.

5 - these blobs practice their dance moves.jpg
These blobs like to practice their dance moves. This was 1992 so we may be dealing with New Kids on the Block. Either way I'll still poke them with my sword.

6 - must be the old mans withered tree its glowing so he may want to see a specialist.jpg
The old mans withered tree is glowing. He might want to see a specialist.

7 - we assumed as much.jpg
And here I just thought it was happy to see me.

8 - Kaeli tries to chop it down and a cow pops out cant make this stuff up.jpg
Chop it down and a cow pops out. You can't make this stuff up.

9 - its true you just dont see that coming.jpg
You got me. I did not see that coming.

10 - what did I say about seeing a specialist.jpg
What did I say about seeing a specialist?

11 - his axe is bigger than hers.jpg
12 - This battle was over so fast this is the only other screenshot I got.jpg
This battle was over so fast these were the only screenshots I got.

13 - my guess is tree siphilus.jpg
Tree syphilis.

14 - we just happen to have a cure all.jpg
15 - we all know where this is going.jpg
We all know where this is going.

16 - sure, because my life is frought with reasonable decisions.jpg
Sure, because I'm all about making reasonable decisions.

17 - Might need it to chop down trees in that sand temple huh.jpg
Good idea. I might run into some trees that need chopping in that sand temple.

18 - remember the box I couldnt get at in foresta.jpg
There was a box I couldn't get to in Foresta earlier, but now that I have an axe...

19 - there was absolutely nothing useful inside.jpg
I can find out there's nothing useful in it.

20 - not a single monster in this sand temple too easy.jpg
Not a single monster in the sand temple? At the chest already? Everything's coming up Viv-

21 - too good to be true.jpg
SON OF A BITCH!

22 - how would you know that unless you took it first.jpg
I'm in the sand temple opening the box that's supposed to have Elixir in it. A regular Sherlock Holmes this one.

23 - you will address me by my formal title.jpg
You'll address me by my formal title peasant.

24 - a reasonable price if this was FFVI but this is 1992 and inflation hasnt screwed us yet.jpg
This is 1992. That sort of GP doesn't grow on trees until at least 1994.

25 - Shes not THAT hot.jpg
Kaeli's not THAT hot.

[Slothy]

26 - a true salesman this one.jpg
A true salesman sticks to his guns.

27 - were not even pretending Im a hero of legend at this point.jpg
Are we even pretending I'm a hero of legend at this point? And since my village was technically destroyed my allowance is now limited to what I pillage from the corpses of my enemies.

28 - okay but no anal.jpg
Okay, but I don't do anal.

29 - sounds perfectly safe guy I just met.jpg
Sounds perfectly safe guy I just met.

30.jpg
31 - do any of us really have a choice.jpg
Does any of us really have a choice or are all of our actions as pre-determined as the programming of this game. Deep philosophical questions being raised here.

32 - 8am I do my killing after breakfast.jpg
8 o'clock. I do my killing after breakfast.

33 - sure why not risk our lives for a maybe.jpg
Risking our lives on a maybe? Totally reasonable.

34 - Vivi von fancy pants to my friends.jpg
Vivi Von Fancy Pants to my friends.

35 - strange name for a ninja.jpg
Interesting choice of Ninja name.

36 - going to fight see you on the other side.jpg
Time to fight. See you on the other side.

37 - I'm as shocked as you are.jpg
I'm as shocked as you are.

38 - I cleared out a battlefield and all I got were these stupid levels.jpg
I cleaned out a battlefield and all I got were some stupid levels.

39 - this adds a whopping 1 to my defense yay.jpg
Another battlefield cleared and a whopping +1 to my defense obtained. Frankly, I'm surprised a necklace offers that much protection.

40 - on to bone dungeon sounds pleasant.jpg
Entering bone dungeon. Sounds pleasant.

41 - wonder what these funny bird looking dudes are like.jpg
I wonder what these funny bird looking dudes look like up close.

42 - like something very not bird like.jpg
not very bird like apparently.

43 - were in a desert dungeon time for the obligatory dune reference.jpg
Desert dungeon? Time for the obligatory Dune reference. Because nothing can survive the deep desert except the worm.

44 - a chest I cant reach Im guessing Ill need to come back here soon.jpg
A chest I can't reach? I'm guessing I'll have to come back here soon.

45 - do I want to know.jpg
46 - sure sell bombs to a kid.jpg
Sell bombs to a kid? Anything to make a buck.

47 - who would say no.jpg
Does anyone actually say no?

48 - we were literally in the same room as the blocked chest.jpg
We were literally in the same room as the blocked chest when he sold me the bombs.

49 - whats a knight without one.jpg
You mean I've been walking around being a legendary knight with no shield? Scandalous!

50 - I dont even know.jpg
I don't even have a caption for this. These guys are just freaky looking.

[Slothy]

51 - with modern pharmacology these skeletons wouldnt have to suffer from limp sword.jpg
With modern pharmacology these skeletons shouldn't have to suffer from a case of floppy sword.

52 - first bit of black magic.jpg
First bit of black magic.

53 - attack the big red monster head on sure sounds legit.jpg
Attack the big red monster head on? STRATEGY!

54 - The Behemoth that killed me at the start might beg to differ.jpg
The Behemoth that killed me at the start of the game would beg to differ.

55 - and I have Quake magic was one of us lied to.jpg
And I have Quake magic. Something you happen to take a lot of damage from. Yeah, that's legit.

56 - I dont remember seeing one of these in Jurassic Park.jpg
I don't remember seeing one of these in Jurassic Park.

57 - Tristam needed a rest so hes taking a nap.jpg
Tristam sleeping on the job.

58 - I couldnt get a pic but the exploding thing is a rib.jpg
The thing exploding on me right now is a rib. I don't think that even needs a funny caption.

59 - almost there.jpg
Almost there.

60 - earth crystal saved.jpg
61 - everyone knows crystals are worthless anyway.jpg
Everyone knows crystals are secretly worthless.

62 - Now Tristam can really reach out and touch someone.jpg
Now he can molest me from across the room.

63 - a man of his word after all.jpg
A man of his word.

64 - I killed a flamerus rex and all I got was this lousy sand coin.jpg
He gets a grappling hook and I get a coin. smurf you Tristam.

65 - and another companion leaves but like doctor who I bet Ill find another soon.jpg
Another companion leaves. I'll probably stumble on another faster than you can say Doctor Who.

66 - they might not leave if I showered after battle.jpg
Maybe they wouldn't leave if I showered after a battle.

And we'll leave it there for today. But as one final thing to leave you with, be sure to play these while I'm fighting a battle or a boss:



You won't regret it.

[Citizen Bleys]

This thread is better than the actual game.

Not that that takes much.

[NeoCracker]

The game is aweful, I'd certianly hope any thread created here is better then it.

But yes, this is priceless. XD

[Slothy]

This game is amazing and you're all going to hell.

Back to Foresta.jpg
Back to Forest town.

2 - so the old guys were telling the truth.jpg
I guess those old people weren't senile after all. Or old people.

3 - now now dont rush me.jpg
Now now, don't rush me.

4 - poor things dilirious.jpg
Poor thing's delirious. Either that or she didn't expect me to come back alive.

Note to self: keep an eye on Kaeli...

5 - sure lets go adventuring two seconds after you take the antidote.jpg
Just recovered from a deadly poison? Time for an adventure.

6 - I dont want your tree siphilus.jpg
I don't want your tree syphilis. You can stay here.

7 - Square used to have a thing for towers what would freud say.jpg
Square had a thing for towers in the 90's. I wonder what Freud would say?

8 - This old guy again captain mac is the guy who forgot his hat.jpg
This old guy again. Captain Mac is the dude who forgot his hat. I highly doubt some hatless loser will be important to my quest.

9 - lucky for us theres only one in the whole world.jpg
Lucky for you there's precisely one Phoebe in the entire world.

10 - I had plans.jpg
Sorry dude, I had plans.

11 - what are the odds of finding important plot characters along the way.jpg
Finding important characters while following the main quest? Yeah right pal!

12 - I guess that sand coin was useful after all.jpg
It doesn't actually say so, but the Sand Coin opened this door. I guess it wasn't totally useless after all. But it certainly is now.

13 - finally starting to live up to my name.jpg
Finally starting to live up to my name.

14 - lush green plants separated from arctic tundra by a tower makes sense.jpg
Lush green plants and arctic Tundra separated by a tower. Make sense. It's like how Florida is on the Canadian border.

15 - the arrows say I should go in here.jpg
The arrows say I can't go any farther. Guess they want me to go here.

16 - dancing in a cave odd place to find a stripper.jpg
Dancing in a cave. Odd place to find a stripper.

17 - hell of a first impression.jpg
She makes a hell of a first impression.

18 - at least some old guy didn't hand you his wither.jpg
At least some old guy didn't hand you his wither.

19 - I asked about some dude named spencer.jpg
I asked her about Spencer. Sometimes the game keeps the last speech bubble on screen, other times it doesn't. It's frustrating when I'm trying to cut down on the number of screenshots.

20 - luck and careful plotting.jpg
Luck and careful plotting.

21 - real go getter.jpg
smurf him, let him die.

22 - going out on a limb Id say shes phoebe of aquaria.jpg
I'm going to go out on a limb and say she's Phoebe from Aquaria.

23 - Im psychic.jpg
Now for Fridays lottery numbers.

24 - nothing says helpful like forcing yourself on a woman.jpg
Nothing says helpful like forcing yourself on a woman.

25 - and not a smurf was given.jpg
Not that she seems to mind.

[Slothy]

Aquaria.jpg
2 - Not very aquatic.jpg
Not very aquatic.

3 - His grandmother got pneumonia who wants to tell him shes going to die.jpg
Your grandmother got pneumonia? She's probably going to die kid.

4 - Physics.jpg
Physics!

5 - You sure theres an actual monster in there.jpg
Invisible monsters? Sure kid.

6 - He waited until we got to her house to ask.jpg
We waited until we got to her house to ask the obvious.

7 - Tunnel under your house cant get out is he dead.jpg
He was digging under your house? And he can't get out? Phoebe, I'd say he's dead.

8 - I didnt listen to dying grandma.jpg
I didn't listen to the dying Grandma.

9.jpg
10 - nice and convoluted.jpg
Sounds nice and convoluted.

11 - I was too busy staring at your boobs to listen.jpg
Sorry, I was staring at your boobs.

12 - makes sense.jpg
Wait, what's this place called when it's not frozen solid?

13 - You;ll note that when blinded our heroes kindly turn their backs to the enemy to prevent pe.jpg
You'll note that when blinded our heroes turn their backs to the enemy to make sure they don't peek in the spirit of fair play.

14 - spelling is their forte.jpg
I honestly thought this spelling was wrong until I typed wintry into Firefox and it didn't smack my knuckles with a ruler.

15 - dancing monsters cant be that bad.jpg
Hedgehog's with icicle coloured spines in the Wintry Cave I get. But why the smurf are there scorpions here?

16 - as if the art budget werent low enough they only changed one letter.jpg
Not only did they do a lot of pallete swaps in this game, but they only changed one letter in the name. These worms also use an attack called quicksand. I trout you not.

17 - might have been useful info before I fell down a cliff.jpg
Might have been useful info before I fell down the cliff.

18 - no thats fine Ill take the claw and CARRY you out.jpg
No that's fine: give me the claw and I'LL carry you out. Interesting side note, Phoebe's bow does almost twice as much damage as the claw did. Why was she using the claw at all?

And that's it for today. A bit shorter than usual, but I did clear out four battlefields as well as getting all of this done. Just as well too since my internet connection decided to be a dick and took at least six minutes to upload the photos for this post. I have Fibreop so even accepting that it was being bogged down by something I still can't believe it took that long.

[NeoCracker]

This is some serious Ballz to the wallz action.