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[Shlup]

BJ saw me log onto Facebook and ask me what was going on, so I began to describe the posts on my newsfeed. He quickly regretted his question.

Sum up the most recent 16 items on your Facebook feed (that's how far I got before I lost interest), and the most recent five posts you made yourself. Compare for funsies.

Feed:
1. My great uncle is going to bed.
2. An ex-co-worker got a new shirt.
3. A current co-worker was displeased with this week's Community.
4. Friend from high school cut open a watermelon. There's a photo.
5. Another co-worker is at work.
6. Yet another co-worker is at work.
7. A friend shared a photo indicating she likes whales.
8. Shiny is attractive.
9. I don't know what "KEEP. THE JEEP. RIDING." means.
10. Co-worker from #3 heard The Great Gatsby was good.
11. Cid posted Ryan Gosling won't eat his cereal (best of) to his wife.
12. Good god that's a lot of hashtags. Cannot decipher.
13. Hello Kitty is out with a new strawberry collection.
14. Co-worker from #6 has concerns about Princess Merida's 2D clip-art.
15. Is that pancakes?
16. sharky posted a flikr album of Styrofoam cups.

And this is after I blocked approximately 1/3 of my friends list for posting too much inane crap.

Me:
1. Pregnancy summarized in gif form.
2. Got a sign language attachment for my work name tag.
3. I'm not sure what I'm doing but I wanted to be supportive.
4. Old man I don't know played harmonica for my belly.
5. Shared a photo from my works website because I am in it.

Good god my aunt sends me a lot of stupid links.

[Laddy]

1. Some guy cosplayed as Goku.
2. Chick's all, "Did I mention I love Jesus? Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!"
3. EoFFer is deciding what type of post to make.
4. Chick going on a rant about a band that probably sucks.
5. A picture of white Will Smith.
6. My twin sister is hanging with some people I dislike.
7. Rush Limbaugh sucks.
8. The Seahawks will so kick ass this year.
9. Her parents don't know she has tattoos.
10. Goddamn Jesus is awesome, apparently.
11. This man loves Jesus.
12. Another "passive aggressive post to no one in particular" mini-rant. Ugh...
13. Darth Revan is badass.
14. This chick looks like my mom. She's not my mom.
15. Obama is covering up Benghazi, apparently.

[Jinx]

1. Locky had a good time at her ball and is being sentimental.
2. Gay friend went to Applebee's. There are pictures.
3. Another gay friend had Kahlua cheesecake. Pictures.
4. Laddy is freaking out about puppies. Freakin' puppies!
5. My cousin sent out thank yous to everyone who wished her a happy birthday.
6. Stupid girl from high school locked herself out of her apartment and her car, and AAA came to save her.
7. Jiro and WildRaubtier are playing some stupid number game.
8. Shorty can't decided which type of hipster she wants to be for the night.
9. Girl from high school posting about her two daughters.
10. And again.
11. Roogle posting his philosophical trout.
12. OH TEE HEE HEE suburban mom making a 1000000th post about how clever her child is.
13. shion reposted my picture.
14. A friend's friend photoshopped Nic Cage's head on his body.
15. Sephex is playing drunken Mario Party.

1. Ant-capitalism meme
2. Doctor Who/Gordon Ramsey meme
3. Status update about choosing to go into mortuary sciences
4. Status updated about my displeasure over the current season of GoT
5. Holocaust quote meme

[Rebellious Eagle]

1. An internet friend ranting about Firefox being shut down incorrectly.
2. The same friend ranting about her laptop.
3. Annoying football jock proclaiming proudly where he is going to party...I mean college.
4. Best friend tagged in pictures with her friends.
5. The aforementioned internet friend saying she rarely speaks up about how she feels.
6. A grumpy cat photo.
7. Future college classmate's phone crashed and had to be reset so message her your number.
8. Boy talking about "dark souls".
9. Girl whining about how little tip money she makes at her job.
10. Another girl being hyped for some alt/indie concerts.
11. A picture of two martial artists cleaning the floor with a broom while in their uniforms.
12. A group picture of martial artists.
13. A generic happy birthday from one bro to another.
14. Some guy I don't know quoting Bulls fans in a sports discussion group I'm in.
15. A girl proclaiming her love for the thunderstorm going on.
16. A fedora-wearing male doing a "like my status" post to a non-fedora-wearing male.

1. Laughing about the easy AP Stats exam.
2. My fiance posting that he thinks I'm an awesome person.
3. Complaining about my constant headaches that aren't even solved with prescription medications.
4. Expressing my joy (sarcasm) about the start of AP exams.
5. Tagged in a Happy Bunny picture posted by my fiance's mom.

[Bunny]

1. Another champion is being released on League of Legends.
2. One of my old family friends is playing some bingo game that involves an anime cat.
3. Sarah is a horror hipster or something
4. Polish friend is seeing Steven Wilson and I am jealous.
5. Roogle dropping life lessons
6. Friend saw his high school coach at a fast food restaurant - big deal because said coach epoused the virtues of clean eating constantly throughout high school.
7. Little Asian LoL pro is streaming
8. Fiance's cousin wants to offend everyone at church by demanding collection plate money
9. Guy in #8 hates mother's and women
10. 2k and Gearbox doing some Borderlands 2-related trout.
11. Fat friend likes Weird Al
12. Katatonia likes fan tats
13. Rye getting drunk at Burger King?
14. Some girl I talked to once has a pampered pooch
15. Engineer friend posts another dumb meme.


1. I hate when people use "Like" as a pause break when talking
2. My school employs idiots
3. Something about my school being stupid
4. I got another monitor! That makes 2, sup.
5. Making a joke about the NFL and the gays.


I'm surprised there isn't more random trout on the first 15. My Facebook has pretty much turned into an avenue in which I follow bands, game companies, and random trout.


Edit: Sarah just posted again and she's pissed about something probably hipster related.

[NorthernChaosGod]

Friends:
1. Friend went to huge, lame party.
2. Stupid status
3. Hot chick changed her profile picture. Again.
4. YouTube person posted a new video
5. Justin said some Asian stuff
6. Girl is listening to music with douchebag headphones
7. No idea what they're talking about
8. Three people in a car, probably having sex.
9. Rave stuff
10. Pretend wisdom
11. Friend posting a video from a troutty concert
12. Out of context crap
13. Some smurfing band won some smurfing contest
14. Weeboo friend likes weeaboo stuff
15. PG being PG
16. Someone pretending to like jazz

Me:
1. My cute ass baby picture
2. Stolen image macro posted to Instagram
3. Check in to fall in love with RDJ more
4. Jeff Hanneman died
5. Another stolen image posted to Instagram

[Yar]

1. A friend is tagged in a picture with someone else. The 'someone else' is someone that I assumed was a spambot that tried to friend me, so I am surprised by this revelation.
2. One friend wants to drive past the high school that some celebrity she likes graduated from.
3. Something about veganism and carnivore-shaming.
4. Someone's pissed about FB's privacy settings.
5. Friend from #2 is talking about same celebrity... Wants a photobook of him I guess.
6. Shiny's hair is amazing when it's wet with rainwater.
7. Something about missing children. "if we don't watch out for our little ones of the world, who will?"
8. Picture of a salad.
9. Link to this. It's about The Sims.
10. "Sometimes a drink feels like the only friend you have left."
11. Shorty is shouting about something over my head.
12. "The enemy is fear. We think it is hate, but it is fear." -Gandhi
13. Friend can't sleep.
14. Some sappy inspirational bulltrout that ends by talking about an electric bill (what?)
15. "Did you know the Flintstones celebrated Christmas before the birth of Christ?"

Me:
1. I want some bibimbap.
2. Drinking alcohol and watching Parks and Rec.
3. two months until jlpt
4. lol [Vancouver] Canucks...
5. Went to Japanese class, ended up learning new English words.


I just realized that I lead a very boring life. brb suicide

[The Summoner of Leviathan]

So skipping posts in groups I am in and ads, I get this:

1. Some guys talking about the rain and being wet.
2. Yar posting in Japanese (Too lazy to figure it out).
3. Ex-coworker's birthday today
4. Tifa's Boob's Meme
5. New SMBC comic!
6. Friend posts this link about Canadianness stuff
7. Co-worker posting link about "strong being the new skinny" (O-o
8. Friend posting a video on other friend's wall (something about parent giving children bad gifts?)
9. Youtuber I follow puts a merc plug.
10. Ex-coworker shares a vid about straight people being asked when they decided to be straight.
11. Different Youtuber I follow posts a link regarding fitness.
12. Old smurf-buddy rants about work.
13. Final Fantasy posts about new info on the FFXIV website.
14. Guild Wars 2 posts about something.
15. Tifa's Boobs talks about GoT.

Me (ignoring all the gaming stuff like trophies and trout):

1. Tagged in a post. Friend is reposting something I posted on her wall.
2. This link about cats being too obsessed with their owners
3. Image regarding the Battle of Hogwarts. NEVER FORGET!
4. Posting an album from picnic by the canal with friends.
5. Posted about writing the wrong name in an e-mail.

[Tasura]

Sure, why not? Also skipping game posts and the like.

1. Friend posts 9Gag link.
2. Person desires red velvet cupcakes.
3. #1 posts another 9gag link.
4. "I can predict the future : People will post about this update at EoFF." BoBo
5. Something regarding some form of sport.
6. #1 with 9gag link, again.
7. Monty Python related post.
8. Horrible English about lack of sleep.
9. Post extolling the virtues of Cream of Tartar.
10. Gaming friend stating he isn't going to buy the limited edition of a game.
11. Someone posting to a group about a new tv show.
12. Someone commenting on a funny video, I guess.
13. #10 posting that a game is getting localized.
14. Someone posting a link to a song.
15. Someone updating relationship status.
16. Someone sharing a pciture for some contest of some sort.


As for my posts, I don't really update much, they basically break down to "Yay money! Yay video games! Yay alcohol!"

[Loony BoB]

1. Ex-work friend posting one of his amazing drawings (in this case, In Demand Banana).
2. Security guard at my work telling everyone to "Get up, play some tunes, dance in your pants and enjoy your Saturday. Who gives a toss if its raining."
3. High school friend takin' a pic of her friend and their food at a restaurant table.
4. Young'n friend hoping today is better than their awful day yesterday.
5. Tara in her ball dress (profile pic change).
6. Tara in her ball dress with her pals (cover pic change).
7. Srarah posting a link about Friday Night Films.
8. PIE CHART FROM MANCHESTER UNITED OMGASM
9. Person from NZ posting a pic of their kid on a BMX track.
10. Me predicting the future (accurately).
11. Binda (pruned EoFF member - a rare breed) thinking she'll regret buying squeaking mouse toys by 3am.
12. Pre-mentioned young'n friend sharing a fashion thing to try and win a dress.
13. Edinburgh chum talking about how someone told him to get a haircut because he is apparently "tryin to be Eric Draven or some trout".
14. Laddy posting a Teddy Roosevelt speech from YouTube.
15. Auckland Blues are preparing for kickoff.
16. My cousin asking if Mother's Day means she gets a 'bloody break'.

1. Me predicting the future (accurately).
2. Me sharing my future sister-in-law's attempt to sell off a T in the Park ticket.
3. Me sharing an amusing mock-RSVP thing.
4. Me talkin' about how I'm famous on the internets (Azar's article on Kotaku).
5. Me hunting down a good door entry repair company.

[Shorty]

so I guess liking horror films is a hipster thing now is it

asses

1. Friend from Utah excited about beach waves in her hair.
2. Locky is David Dickinson.
3. Daniel Towns is a fortune teller.
4. My cousin's life goes on.
5. Justy is posting in Japanese and I can't read it.
6. My sister's sister-in-law thinks boys suck.
7. Shiny's hair looks good wet.
8. My sister's brother-in-law's body hurts.
9. Geeky friend from Utah is obsessed with frolfing.
10. Jiro is getting the third degree from Fufu about his family owning a business in NZ.
11. Dude I worked with comiserating over a mutual friend of ours dying.
12. Another dude I worked with was tipped super well.
13. Halan is laughing.
14. My sister is in such a good mood right now.
15. Utah friend in denial about leaving Hawaii.
16. Roo is aware of himself.

1. I post my review of It Came From Outer Space from my blog.
2. I internet-scream obscenities while pretending to be Patrick Bateman because that's hipster as trout and Shiny knows what I'm talking about.
3. I inquire to my friends list to see if they wanted to read a review of an old school horror film or random things I found on the internet and people here call me a hipster at any excuse they can.
4. I complain about the Russian Mafia in Spokane.
5. I post my spring fashion post from my blog.

[Pike]

ITT: No one reads, everyone posts.

1. Sarah posts about old movies
2. BoB talks about this thread
3. Laddy posts Teddy Roosevelt
4. Old college friend shares some picture that I can't be bothered to click on
5. Different college friend shares another picture
6. Same person, another picture
7. Same person, another picture
8. Justin posts something in Japanese
9. Something from "Montana Bronies"
10. First old college friend from before shares a link
11. Shiny talks about her hair
12. Nikki talks about I dunno some hipster band or something
13. Another old college friend is going to be DJing on a radio or something?
14. Sarah posts something; I have no idea what she's talking about
15. Nikki posts a poem/lyrics/I dunno
16. Yet another old college friend posts a Rednex music video. I approve.

Mine:

1. Pike shares a great chemistry joke picture
2. Pike is working the 10pm - 6am shift
3. Pike shares a nice picture for her mom
4. Pike changes her profile picture for the first time in a year
5. Pike talks about how it's snowing in May

[I Took the Red Pill]

I'm officially suggesting "Let's just do 5". 15 is too many. Aint nobody got time 4 dat

1. It's 5 AM and he can't sleep
2. Picture of cactuses
3. Dude is asking where there are so many "badonkadonk butts" at Subway
4. Couple posting pics of themselves lounging at a nice hotel
5. Friend wishes other friend happy birthday

As for myself:

1. I high-fived Paul Oakenfold
2. Posting pictures from the Philippines
3. Status about trying to surf and failing
4. "I'm a man who enjoys his taffy." (friend posted this one from my account)
5. Posting pictures from Vietnam

I had to go pretty far back to get 5 of these. I didn't realize how little of my own stuff I actually post. I think I'm just more of a guerilla commenter on other peoples' trout.

[chionos]

ITT: No one reads, everyone posts.

Wrong! I read, no post. Cause I don't have enough EoFF + FB friends to make a cool enough list. Cause you gotta have some EoFF love to make the list worth reading.

Also.

Damn you I want snow in May! =(

[Pike]

Damn you I want snow in May! =(

It's really not as exciting as it sounds.