I grew up in Tamaki Makaurau. We have lots of birds, and lots of gangs. I never learned to drive because I could take the bus or the train or the ferry anywhere I wanted to go. Xena and Hercules were filmed here. My high school served as the fake high school for our national soap opera. It's a big smurfing deal whenever any major artist tours here. I worked at the biggest library in the country, which was down the street from two rival universities, one of which I was a graduate of.

I would get up in the morning, and get on a bus. An hour to ninety minutes later, I would get off, and walk to work. During my lunch break I would go to the local record shop and scour for records, or go to the art gallery and hang with my friends Ernst and Parekowhai. After work I'd go to the gym, and go to the IMAX, or to a festival, or a gallery opening, or an MTV party, or thrift shopping. I'd probably hang with Rinoabella, and she'd probably give me a ride home after we ate at Wagamama or a Japanese food place. On the weekends I'd go to the zoo or to the park, and eat lentil pies and samosas. My people own land on a small island here. Sometimes I miss this urban lifestyle so much I think I'm going to burst into flames. I regularly miss the birds and my brother so much that it brings me to tears. I wonder when my parents will die.

I now live in a small college town that is known as the city of subdued excitement. I still work in a library, although in a much different role than before. I regularly exhibit art in galleries here, and even have solo shows. I almost never go to the movies, or shopping, but I'm a member of the big art museum now. I'm a respected member of a local writing group, and although there are plenty of local shows I rarely take advantage of them. Every so often I consider joining an improv group. I wish I could bring all of my friends here and show them the sights, from the bar with the fancy cocktails, to the wonderful secondhand bookstores. There is ocean and forest here, but it is different from home. For most of my life, I have felt caught between two opposing states, and this is no exception.