'Merica F'***Yeah! ROFL (just kidding)

Seriously though, food as a weapon? hmm. I'd go for the Watermelon, its heavy enough if its a Georgian Striper. Attach to rope or twine and swing it around like a mace or catapult it into the air on unsuspecting targets. XD

Then there is Bill Murry's 'concrete' pancakes or was it waffle mix as pancakes? I forget.

Anyway, it was a scene from one of the newer Charlie's Angels films. Bosley aka Bill Murry made "pancakes" that turned out to be literally hard as a rock; lethal frisbees of doom. It makes me laugh whenever I see that scene. Should I find it I will put it up as a clip.

For now this plate of regular unsuspecting looking Pancakes will do:
Pancakes.jpg

Lastly there is the ever popular "Hot' Coffee/drink as a weapon. TV shows and Films have used this type of 'gag' alot. Go for the crouch!
(Ooo-, self defense can smart!)