1. A girl from my high school graduating class just posted an album of photos of her son. They are all sideways and it makes me crazy.
2. My sister just got home and wants everyone to know about how she's going to sleep soon.
3. My sister's BFF who is kind of a conspiracy theorist posted a link to this (https://jawbone.com/up) saying how cool it is, which is kind of ironic if you think about it.
4. Another girl from high school is doing a facebook inventory of her Mother's Day loot and offering public gratitude for the blessings in her life.
5. A girl I used to work with posted photos from her sister's wedding.
6. mc chris gives thanks for his fans.
7. Former friend from college graduated. smurf me.
8. A TV actress friend of a friend has one of those apps that posts her tweets to facebook and it confuses me.
9. This girl I used to get drink with posted a meme about how ADLs for mother's would be weird if non-mothers did them. smurf me.
10. Found out via facebook that someone I thought was a really good friend to me got engaged - had no idea.
11. A girl who I rode the bus with in school and later had to be party to firing at a place we both worked posted an apple dumpling recipe.
12. Shorty posted a video about how college sux, I consider drinking a G&T.
13. Sam thinks Tubthumping is one of the greatest songs of all time. Urge to drink, rising.
14. PeterL90 graduated from NCSU along with my friend from #7. Oh, did I mention they know each other outside of me? That's smurfed up.
15. Former boss is watching Immortals, called it a trainwreck. I have no idea what it is.

Okay now me.

1. I lambast coastal South Carolinian voters for electing Mark Sanford to office. I argue with that guy I thought I was friends with who just got engaged.
2. I say I found my cell phone, but I say it really stupidly and make up some words.
3. I advise my cell phone is lost and request anyone who sees it to attempt to trap it in a jar. Surprisingly several friends like my status and I question them. Roto13 tells me they want to see me hurt or something. I think he hates me.
4. I comment on what a great day May 4th was. No one gives a flying smurf.
5. I post this as my profile picture. An astonishing number of people like it.