The Cunning Cap party

[Rob Roy]

The animals should obviously be killed as quickly and painlessly as possible.

What are these "as painlessly" methods you are using? It sounds like the animal is still in pain. What other animals do you kill for hats? Have you thought about reforming the party to only include non-fur and animal-killed hats?

[Slothy]

The animals should obviously be killed as quickly and painlessly as possible.

What are these "as painlessly" methods you are using? It sounds like the animal is still in pain.

They're in less pain than you will be in when I make a hat out of you I can assure you of that much.

What other animals do you kill for hats? Have you thought about reforming the party to only include non-fur and animal-killed hats?

I kill any non-endangered animal I want if I feel it will make a fine hat. We do have Vegan options for folks like Calliope of course, but I have no qualms with animals dying to improve my gentlemanliness and dapper stats.

[Calliope]

Before we get rebranded as the Off With Your Head Party, I would like to demonstrate that sometimes animals choose to willingly act as temporary hats:



Although we have yet to get a good picture of this phenomenon, the above picture illustrates that a few times per month, a kindly Harris Hawk alights upon my noggin and gently perches there with his razor sharp talons as I clean his enclosure and bring him fresh food and water. He's a lovely little bird

Harris Hawk Hat: +75 Benevolence +800 Awesomesauce +200 Tolerance for Trolls

[Del Murder]

Might I suggest better protection such as a helmet or possibly to not wander onto the turf of an apparently territorial hawk.

[Calliope]

1) I used to wear a plinth helmet when in his enclosure, until it become more than apparent that it is not necessary to do so - my eyes, limbs and head are covered, and if it came to it, I could quickly leave his enclosure, or simply swat him away.
2) He's not being territorial.
3) It's not aimless wandering, and you know it.

So no, not really

[Del Murder]

I would never imply that it was aimless.

[Rob Roy]

I have no qualms with animals dying to improve my gentlemanliness and dapper stats.

What other animals do you kill to "improve your gentlemanliness and dapper stats"?

[Calliope]

I think what Vivi means is that when one dons a hat of a more than becoming nature, it is not uncommon to find that your peers are suddenly dying to pay you a call, buy you a drink or save a spot on your dancecard. You could say that the quintessential cap makes one a ladykiller.

[Rob Roy]

You could say that the quintessential cap makes one a ladykiller.

This just in: Calliope claims to be a woman!

[Pumpkin]

I like some hats.

I don't like other hats.

Hats cover up my bad hair.

I don't approve of animal killing for hats.

My boyfriend is in this party and I think I'm supposed to support him, or whatever.

Is this party for me?

EDIT: I know you're at capacity, but I still need to root for someone.

[Formalhaut]

but I still need to root for someone.

Your signature is pink Shion! Your spiritual home should be with the Fluffy Pink Party! We have pink food at our conferences!

[Election Booth]

A shameless attempt from The Fluffy Pink Party to snatch up recruits! Will shion find her home among hats or among colors? We'll find out.

[Slothy]

You could say that the quintessential cap makes one a ladykiller.

It's true. I already melted Shorty. Probably melted her twice to be honest.

[Aulayna]

I really want to make an inappropriate joke here about Rantz, Shorty and a hat for a different kind of head. But yeah that'd probably get me banned.

So I'll leave that one to your imaginations.

[Rob Roy]

Inside Scoop!

The following letter and photo were sent to me from an unidentified source:

Dear Rob Roy,

Last year, I happened to be wandering around EoFFville, spreading peace and love, when I chanced upon a hat burning rally. I thought this was a great idea to cook marshmellows to feed to the homeless, so I got closer, when.. and I kid you not, I saw none other than Vivi22 leading the rally! Here's a picture I took:

While I find this somewhat hypocritical, I still love everyone from the Cunning Cap Party. Their fascination with headgear is great and keeps the head warm! It's very important! But, the public should be made aware of everything, so they are the most informed.

Thanks Rob Roy!

No, thank you fellow citizen. We are all just doing our part to keep the public informed during these most crucial elections.