How do you get healthy food to actually taste good?

[Shoeberto]

I don't even know what a farmers' market is.

Pretty much what it sounds like. Usually towns and cities have a weekly event where they invite local producers to come and sell their crops in an open market. You might have to check your local newspaper/city website to see if they have a calendar of local events. They're less common in smaller towns but you could probably find one reasonably nearby. They're usually wicked cheap compared to stores and a lot fresher since there's no real shipping or processing involved.