Oh, and I was once an avid cyclist. Still am, really, I just don't have a bike anymore.

But anyway, cyclist's tan. The last joint on each finger; tanned. A circle on the back of my hands; tanned. My arms from mid-bicep to wrist; tanned. My legs from mid-thigh to the top of each knee; tanned. My face; tanned. The back of my neck; tanned. A triangle on my chest; tanned.

Everything else; smurfing luminescent white.