These... are good responses. I don't have time to watch it this morning, so I'mma wait until I get home from work.
...I look forward to it...? *_*
These... are good responses. I don't have time to watch it this morning, so I'mma wait until I get home from work.
...I look forward to it...? *_*
Welp, that was definitely an ending. And Dexter's final choice makes no sense. Even based on the reasoning he gives.
I saw this on reddit, and had to repost. It's long, so before I post that, I want to know (SPOILER)Why the hell Hannah McKay + Harrison get to just swan around eating ice cream when Harrison is a little boy who is now an orphan and Alway JUST SAW HIM on a bus with Hannah. I suppose this falls under the same logic as no one recognizing Saxon or Hannah despite being all over the news and running around bleeding or whatever.
(SPOILER)
[–]bigbrasscasket 912 points 26 days ago*
At the end of last season, I thought Deb murdering LaGuerta was the 'Hank on the toilet' moment of Dexter and it was all going to be a rollercoaster from there on out. I thought this season was going to consist of:
[–]Miami Metro freaking out about the murder of LaGuerta and doing a thorough investigation, complete with suspensful episodes where Deb and Dexter almost and maybe eventually get caught, maybe even just Deb taking the fall
[–]Batista coming out of retirement and getting all Deathwish trying to find LaGuerta's murderer
[–]Deb and Dexter meltdowns and paranoia, maybe an eventual sex scene
[–]The unwinding of Dexter leading to a satisfying, powerful conclusion
Instead, the following far-fetched shark-jumping scooby doo horsetrout has ensued:
[–]Batista is back at Metro for no real reason and Deb quit and is now Deb the bounty hunter, and she's doing coke now and banging the guy she's hunting until Dexter just straight up kills him while Harrison's in the car.
[–]Meanwhile, there's another new serial killer in Miami who does artsy trout with corpses. This brings us Vogel, who they introduce at Miami Metro just so you'll think she's a threat to Dexter for a minute, but really she just needs his help killing the Brain Surgeon, who she doesn't know is actually her own son who faked his own death a long time ago.
[–]The Brain Surgeon has traveled back to America in his mid 40's and is killing his mom's old patients and leaving her brain chunk valentines instead of just calling her.
[–]Dexter can't find the Brain Surgeon, but kills 2 of her old patients along the way, one of whom is a cannibal and the other one is a serial killer got so mad that Dexter was following him, he kidnapped Vogel and almost cut her toes off but luckily Dexter killed him with his mattress spear right in front of Deb and Vogel. He also had a smurfing scar on his head that matched the Brain Surgeon head cut thing. Why not.
[–]Quinn's still around, but now he's banging Batista's sister. He's also on the hunt for a new murderer in Miami, this time it's a mini Dexter and also happens to be one of Vogel's patients, Zach Hamilton.
[–]Deb spirals out of control and drives Dexter and herself into a lake and decides to save him. We never see any consequence for this action.
[–]Dexter starts hunting Zach at the same time as Quinn, and they even catch each other stalking him at the same time. Dexter is about to kill Zach but then decides instead of killing him, he'll teach him his smurfing code and they'll be little killers together. He spends about 7 minutes a year with his real son, but why not take on this little Zach guy. It'll be a fun little side project.
[–]There is also a multiple episode arc where Masuka has a long lost daughter from donating sperm and he does a background check on her, she finds out, he sees her tits, she calls him 'dad' and he gives her a job in the lab.
[–]Deb and Dex reconcile, and eat some food together. Food that has been poisoned at some point by Hannah McKay.
[–]Hannah is back in Miami, she wants to make sure Dexter won't turn her in, and needs Dexter's help but instead of using words, she drugs Dexter and Deb and dumps him on the side of the road, naturally.
In one episode, we learn that Hannah is now not only out of prison, but married to a millionaire. She kills him in the same episode and Dexter helps her dump the body. Oh and Deb saw them.
[–]Back to the Brain Surgeon, Vogel's son. He's been stalking Vogel and Dexter, in whatever free time he has from working and trying to seriously date Dexter's neighbor Cassie only to end up killing her. Someone also took the time of putting Zach Hamilton's blood under her nails which they collected from his door handle.
[–]Dexter and Hannah are now totally in love again even though she wasn't really mentioned in any of the first 6 episodes. They go on a little getaway to find Zach. It turns out Zach's innocent.
[–]Deb followed them on that journey to arrest Hannah. She finds them in a plastic covered room with Zach Hamilton. Hannah tells Deb, who she poisoned a few days ago to go away because she loves Dex. Deb just decides 'smurf it' and bails.
[–]Dexter, Hannah and Zach go have dinner with Vogel. Dexter takes Hannah home, bangs her in his socks and then returns to his apartment where he finds Zach minus some of his head. Vogel's son did this in keeping with his "saw off part of my mom's patients' heads" gag that he does. He left the corpse in Dexter's apartment because he hates Dexter for some reason.
[–]Hannah and Deb are BFF's now and Hannah is hiding in Deb's apartment of all places while Deb's boss is hunting for Hannah. Makes sense.
[–]Whenever the Brain Surgeon came to kill Zach, during the struggle Zach managed to somehow meticulously place a large chunk of DNA right under his desk. Dexter places the DNA in his computer, types 'enhance' and we find out that the Brain Surgeon is Vogel's son. Now Vogel doesn't want to kill him, she wants to meet up with him and hang.
[–]Dexter decides he wants to move away with Harrison and Hannah, but he's gonna kill Oliver Daniel Saxon Vogel first, who is chilling at home with Vogel now.
It's insanity. I didn't think this far into the show, he'd still be walking into work and carrying on normally. There's so many reasons for trout to be hitting the fan and it's not happening in any way we should care about. My favorite moments in Dexter were always when it seemed like he might get caught, like when he was watching the news about the Bay Harbor Butcher, or when Quinn or Doakes would be tracking him, etc. I was thinking this season would be filled with that kind of thing. But he's clubbing with Zach Hamilton and walking around in pastel colors with his fugitive girlfriend whose millionaire husband was just murdered. It's a bummer.
EDIT: Updates from the most recent episode:
[–]Vogel and her 'perfect psycopath' (full body cringe) son the Brain Surgeon have breakfast and she's trying to get sentimental with him but he's all mean now because he's gotta stay scary. I thought that was weird. He was all creepy and 'mommy' at the end of the last episode, but now he's shifted. He needs her help to make him like Dexter. Even though he hates Dexter. I think. Oh smurf who cares.
[–]Masuka's daughter is getting high. It's the third to last episode of Dexter and they're throwing in pointless dead end sub-sub-subplots. Maybe there will be an intervention in the next episode and she'll go off to rehab for the finale. Predictions?
[–]Dexter quits Miami Metro in an anticlimactic soft fart of a scene and Batista is your typical Batista in it and he's like 'door's always open bro' fedora hug
[–]Dexter tells Deb he's moving away and that's another big whatever scene. Deb makes a weird slanted Deb face in it though and I laughed.
[–]Then we find ourselves in the scary Brain Surgeon's secret lair so we can showcase how super scary he is. They're really shoving the 'hey mom I'm going to kill you very soon' thing into our face.
[–]Quinn and Jamie break up because all she wants to do is ride his boner and make him food.
[–]Then Dexter the super hero uses his most useful superpower, his ability to make whatever convenient information he needs appear on a computer screen. Harry reads over his shoulder and makes sure the viewer always knows exactly what's going on.
[–]Dexter's Ghost Dad who killed himself when he realized what his son had become, is still persuading him to kill people in his miserable afterlife.
[–]A new character is looking for Hannah. She is inside doing dishes with all the windows open.
[–]Then came the treadmill. I don't want to say a show 'jumped the shark' anymore. I think it's time that we update that phrase to 'fell off the treadmill'. 'That show used to be good but then it really fell off the treadmill'. I like it.
[–]Hannah takes Dexter's human bourdon to the hospital in her regular Hannah gear and no disguise whatsoever even though she knows she's a goddamn fugtive and is actively being closed in on.
[–]The Brain Surgeon is having tea with his mom who is luring him there so Dexter can kill him. At first she wanted to be a mommy, but then she saw a video of her son doing what she already knew he did to Zach so she's now ok with him dying.
[–]She invites her son over for tea and lights the room up nice and scary for the viewer. A single spotlight glares down on her little tea set. It gave off an Are You Afraid of the Dark vibe.
[–]The Brain Surgeon, who we are supposed to believe harbored hatred for his mother for most of his life, has gone through incredibly elaborate schemes to smurf with her, basically slits her throat without a second thought and uses her as a scary prop so he can smurf with his real target, a guy named Dexter he doesn't know at all.
[–]Dexter runs in and the other guy does a ninja vanish, or just kind of watches and snickers while Dexter hugs the dude's dead mom.
TL;DR mindless 'dexter sux now' rambling
...
...
...
Wow
Where did Harrison's stitches go? The biggest mystery of all. (SPOILER)The ending gave me a The Dark Knight Rises vibe but in a troutty way. At least it's finally over. It's funny, I never liked Rita as a character and was happy when she died, but the show never recovered from her death. I should be careful what I wish for!
Boring as smurf. No epic soundtrack either? No internal monologue? This was such a trout finale. This show was over when Rita died. That's the series finale for me. Or maybe after the first few after she died. Then it's done.
What the smurf did I just watch. Season four was the best season, but it should've ended with season 5 being LaGuardia's and Deb's revelations. Saxon , that random British lady, that crap with Deb being randomly in love with Dexter (i.e. soap opera crap) should've never existed.
Damn, that was awful.
Branded lamest ending in recent TV history
I'm going to be honest; I've never watched the show. The only reason I'm here is because I'm getting a genuine kick seeing you all bathe in the billowing agony of disappointment. Your tears give me strength! :mymeltitter:
There is no signature here. Move along.
I'm not disappointed; I expected it to be crap. The series took a nose dive when the original writer left.
This is what you get for watching past season 4.
Finally got caught up. Sort of wish I hadn't. Who the smurf green lights that and thinks "yes this is a good thing!"
The kind of people who can't come up with anything better.
It is literally impossible to write a script for the final episode of Dexter and have it be no better than that. I'll give it a bash:
DEXTER: I was an alien sent to kill humans all along. Now I will return to my home planet.
(A beam of light engulfs DEXTER, who gently floats to the heavens. HANNAH and DEB have tears rolling down their faces. DEXTER looks down, smiles and waves. HANNAH and DEB both manage a smile through their tears)
HANNAH: Now what?
DEB: I don't smurfing know. Let's become smurfing lesbian smurfing lovers together or something.
(HANNAH and DEB throw their arms around each other and begin to passionately make out. The camera slowly pans to the right where we see MASUKA, watching, grinning. He lets out his trademark laugh.)
MASUKA: Huh huh huh huh.
(MASUKA looks directly at the camera)
MASUKA: Th-th-th-that's all folks!
(The screen slowly goes black, centred as a circle on MASUKA's face. As the screen goes completely black, MASUKA reaches his hands through the last hole, pulls the black open, pokes his head through, and lets out a final wink to the "DEXTER leaving apartment sound" and the screen finally goes black.)
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