Best Newbie. Best Newbie…. Beeessstttt Newwww-biiieee. Has a ring to it huh? Sounds like a pretty nifty title. You want it don’t you little Newbie? You want some recognition for how awesome you are, you want to claim that crown. Well just a second there, you jumped up, eager little pipsqueak, are you prepared? Have you checked off your Newbie List? Here is my step-by-step guide to becoming a Super Newbie!
- Make at least 20 posts a day - keep yourself on top of the stats and let everybody get to know you and recognise you.
- Spend hours in #eoff conversing with the chatters and top the chat stats.
- The closer you get to staffers the better; you’ll be credible if you talk to staff.
- Write articles for the front site – you need to get that staff title and quick if you want to be a true Super Newbie.
- Partake in events and win them. You have to be the best or why bother at all?
So, you’ve done all of these steps and now you’re up for the Best Newbie Ciddie. Wait, what? What is it like to be Best Newbie?
Well my darlings, it is hard. But I feel like I’m ready to pass on my crown to one of you guys. The worst thing is that people expect you to be that awesome juiced up newbie forever, you’ll be forgotten if you don’t post every day. You’ll be fired if you don’t write those articles. Eventually you’ll become a neurotic ‘not-a-newbie-but-not-a-regular’ member who is on the verge of a breakdown. Then before you know it, you’re biting Loony BoB, plotting to kill Pantz, and overthrow the Editors… and you’re controlling Loony BoB’s computer with your feet in a desperate attempt to stay on top….
Finally after your breakdown, you become the Lindsay Lohan of EoFF and people just keep you around because they’re scared of what will happen otherwise…
You still want the crown?