Real Life Catchphrases

[Mercen-X]

My mom's mom: 1) Did you go to church? 2) Pray to Mother Mary. 3) You should eat. 4) (to someone who is overweight) You're fat. 5) (to my mother, nearly word-for-word every time) You're fat, you should eat. (mixed message much?)
My dad's mom: 1) Can you do something for me? 2) Your brother is so successful.
My dad: 1) I don't know. (to any question) 2) I'm sick. (seeing a sneeze/cough then sneezing/coughing himself)
My mom: 1) I gained a half pound!
My dad's older brother: (upon hearing a bummer from my dad) 1) Oh, dude. Wait til you hear what happened to me.
My dad's younger brother: 1) Oh, dude. Check this out! Isn't my life awesome!
My dad's sister: 1) Yeah, that's great... I'm happy for you... (she hardly ever breaks her monotone)
My mom's deceased brother's wife: 1) I'm raising money for "insert here", can you pitch in. (later, we learn she spent this money on a trip or some kind of luxury other than the necessity she conned her family with)
Me: 1) You're wrong. 2) I'm right. 3) "insert random question" (even though I live with two dumb old people and could likely find the answer to my question on the internet which I'm usually on about ten hours a day.)

What are yours?

[Shorty]

Those listed above don't necessarily sound like catchphrases. They more sound like common phrases the people say.

"Joke's on you, [reasons reasons reasons]."

[Synoptikal]

"Here's a fun fact for you..."

[Jiro]

Stay crispy.

[Night Fury]

"PHILIP!"

[Jinx]

I'm always saying, "You dingus!" I also incorrectly say, "Calm your horses." But I've said it for so long now, it's my own thing.

[noxious.sunshine]

I say "Ballin'!" & "baller" a lot.
And "I used to could (do something)"
"I'm ain't goin'"/"I'm ain't skurred"

I like to replace t's with k's and roll my t's like a Spanish r when I say "what" in a question. Like "whattttt I do?" It doesn't work for everything, though. Kinda hard to explain.

And I don't say "brah" or "bro". I say "breh". Again, you won't get it unless you hear it and then it'll probably get on your nerves.

[Loony BoB]

Those listed above don't necessarily sound like catchphrases. They more sound like common phrases the people say.

"Joke's on you, [reasons reasons reasons]."

I don't think I've ever heard you say that.

<Shorty> You are the worst.
<Shorty> Just kidding!
<Shorty> You ass.

As for me...

<Loony_BoB> Rockin'.
<Loony_BoB> Penis
<Loony_BoB> doop doop
<Loony_BoB> Who's a what, now?
<Loony_BoB> A couple of years in therapy, they'll get over it.
<Loony_MoB> [name/object/words] is it just me or is it just me or is it just me

[Shorty]

I say it IRL and I've said it plenty of times here. This is one I've never heard you say:

<Loony_MoB> [name/object/words] is it just me or is it just me or is it just me

I don't use just kidding very much anymore xD

[Mercen-X]

Every now and then, I've been known to say, "I'm [expletive deleted] awesome!"
I knew a kid in High School who would say "That's Gangster!" which I assume meant "cool".
I dated a girl in college who said "nifty" a lot. When I confronted her about it later, she claimed she never used that word and that it must have been me.
My ex would always say, "Don't make fun of me" just because someone giggled at something she said or did. Of course, she was laughing too.
When my dad is left home alone, he always shouts "Me time!" If there's something to be done during the day and it's already past 4:30, my dad always "you/I/we can do it tomorrow." And if we cave, he says, "I win."

My family also has some real-life memes. After a Christmas gift turned out to be more for my dad than my mom to whom he had given it (a "bank" skull with a helmet emblazoned with a swastika). Since then, gifts that were more for the giver than the receiver were called "Nazi Skull Helmets" which I always picked at for being grammatically incorrect although to say it correctly, I think you'd need a longer sentence. A few months ago, I also told my dad by phone that I was feeling "anxious" because they were coming home and I'd hardly gotten any writing done using my computer which is why I wanted to stay home. Instead I'd wasted time on Deviant Art checking character genderbends... dork. Ever since, my dad shouts "Anxiety Level Rising" whenever someone comes home and there's a person on the computer who knows they'll have to give it up since they had it all day.

My dad does not just say "I don't know" when asked a question. One time in particular, my mom was frantic about having misplaced a lot of money (like $300), my dad said, "Don't jump to conclusions. Maybe I took it, I don't know." He actually said this... that maybe he took it and yet somehow he still doesn't know. Does that sound reassuring to you? My mom said she had to be sure and my dad said it wasn't important. Eventually my mom did remember where she put it so my dad wasn't lying about anything, he's just really... blank.

[Sephex]

Well, that's the way the spider melts!

*laugh track*

[Synoptikal]

"Whatever floats your boat. ...Buoyancy I hope."

"First things first. ...No, let's have first things third!"

I get annoyed by obvious statements so I tend to alter them slightly when I say them personally.

"Time you got a watch!" - Response to "What time is it?"

"Don't fall - it gets you down." - Response to someone tripping.

Yeah, I can be annoying. XD

[Loony BoB]

I say it IRL and I've said it plenty of times here. This is one I've never heard you say:

<Loony_MoB> [name/object/words] is it just me or is it just me or is it just me

I don't use just kidding very much anymore xD

It's very new and it's because of my phone and it's predicted-next-word stuff, but I don't know if that counts as "real life" or "online". I say the others out loud, though, as well as online.

I think online catch phrases are much more fun than offline ones, though.

[Yerushalmi]

My catchphrases are:

• "I'm an editor."
• "I'm the kind of guy who..."
• "Because they're STUPID!"
• "You have got to be kidding me."
• "Pick a lane, doofus!" (to other drivers)
• "I don't know, I've never been there." (in response to being asked "What's up?")
• "Your voice" (in response to "Ma Nishma?", the Hebrew equivalent to "What's up?", which literally means "What is heard?", hence the response)
• "You just did." (in response to being asked "Can I ask you a question?")
• "Nobody ever died from X" (sometimes this sentence is hilariously and obviously wrong, such as when X was 'getting drafted' or 'starving to death')
• "I blame Obama" (Obama was the nickname we gave to our space heater for no reason, and at one point it began malfunctioning and giving everybody sore throats, and when we finally figured out why we were sick this became a catchphrase)
• "Never in my life have I..." (this one works better in Hebrew)

[Denmark]

• "I blame Obama" (Obama was the nickname we gave to our space heater for no reason, and at one point it began malfunctioning and giving everybody sore throats, and when we finally figured out why we were sick this became a catchphrase)

THANKS, OBAMA.

i dunno if I have things I say a lot irl that aren't stolen from other people. i give a lot of thumbs-ups to avoid having to actually form a meager sentence. i say "dang" a fair bit.