Gays Cannot Marry Because They Don't Face Each Other During Sex

[Night Fury]

“Who pretends to love decently using the favorite position of dogs!” she said

Yeah, there aint nothing decent about it that way.

(SPOILER)& that is why it is great.

[Mirage]

One of the best things about sex is seeing the look on my boyfriend's face as we pleasure each other. Bitch be cray-cray.

Impossible! Degenerate human beings like you cannot possible feel love like the rest of us do!

[sharkythesharkdogg]

That was a great Onion article and--what? It's...it's not?

...

I seriously kept looking for The Onion mentioned somewhere. I'm still not convinced this is farce. I....just.......wut?