I bet he wonders the same thing I do, and ponders why so many other characters had to die or attempt suicide just for him to be a part of the final 5. And then he gets confused (like I do), and is unsure which of the others would have been in the final 5 if he wasn't. It confuses himself so much he decides to look at Rydia, where all his troubles seemingly go a way. Then he realizes he is nearly pedophile, so he goes back to the original thought and the pattern continues.