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Thread: The Second EyesonFF Beard Contest

  1. #196
    *permanently smitten*
    A Vey Good Friend
    Calliope's Avatar
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    Dancing Chocobo

    I'm not really in, because I didn't bother to shave at the starting point, so I have about double the growth of everyone else. I'm just posting in solidarity with my furry eoff sisters. Down with inane social convention! Re-evaluate beauty standards!

  2. #197
    Eggstreme Wheelie Recognized Member Jiro's Avatar
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    They see me rolling. They hating, patrolling.
    Trying to catch me riding dirty.


  3. #198
    Ghost 'n' Stuff NorthernChaosGod's Avatar
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    Keep at it, Dak. :3

  4. #199
    Eggstreme Wheelie Recognized Member Jiro's Avatar
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    If it grew with any sort of consistency I wouldn't care so much but like smurf there are just patches of crap all over my face. xD

    They see me rolling. They hating, patrolling.
    Trying to catch me riding dirty.


  5. #200
    Jinx's Avatar
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    I am going to take a picture of my 23 Day Leghair Growth...then can I shave? xD I don't think the ladies are doing an endurance competition...
    Quote Originally Posted by Fynn View Post
    Jinx you are absolutely smurfing insane. Never change.

  6. #201
    Recognized Member Shorty's Avatar
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    Sounds fine!

  7. #202

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    Not really in the competitoin, and I technically started 2 days early and now two days late, BUT smurf IT!

    Picture 3.jpg

  8. #203
    ...you hot, salty nut! Recognized Member fire_of_avalon's Avatar
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    Welp, here we go!

    A cautionary tale is what I have for you tonight, because in my most bizarre fever dreams I never imagined the raw power even the semblance of a beard can provide to a once barren and peach-skinned visage.

    It all began innocently enough...
    I had just completed the final braid in my Gimlette beard for Eyeson's Second Beard Competition and I was elated. Truly I had crafted a magnificent beard!

    Slowly, ever so slowly...
    as I admired my braided dwarven beard, I felt unsettled. Something on my face felt... heavy. As though a great sense of responsibility had suddenly fallen upon me... and a certain majestic force was now pressed ticklishly against the skin of my face.

    I began to examine my beard with a critical eye...
    truth be told I had never been so close to a ... well a mock beard, I knew it was a mock beard of course, but still - I'd never been so close to a beard so full and luxurious. As if it were conditioned regularly.

    Then it began to change...
    Yes, it was gradual at first, but becoming more noticeable with each passing moment. This beard, woven from the hair on my head, was changing. It became heavier, fuller, more like a friend or an archenemy... a frenemy, if you will.

    The first titter of fright ran up my spine...
    But what am I saying... a beard is a beard! And a mock beard is just a mockery of a real beard! I tried to shake off this feeling bliss and dread mingling in the pit of my stomach.

    That was when I heard...
    The voice. Or, rather I felt it. I felt a presence of power unlike any I have ever known. Not holy and not heathen but unencumbered by the ideas of good and evil. It had no opinion on right or wrong, no inherent morality or amorality, it just was.

    LONG HAVE I WAITED FOR THIS MOMENT
    My mock beard declared. "LONG HAVE YOU WAITED TO BRING FORTH MY MAJESTY AND MY TERRIBLE FORCE. I AM THE ALPHA AND THE OMEGA, I AM THE WARMTH THAT COVERS YOUR FACE AND THE DESPERATE TICKLE IN YOUR NOSE. I AM ALL YOU LOVE AND ALL FOR WHICH YOU DESPAIR....

    MOISTURIZE ME AND KNOW WHAT IT IS TO BE AS GOD
    ....
    ....

    Have you ever felt fear?
    ...
    ...

    Have you ever felt the power of the immanent god stir deep in your belly?

    "NO!" the EverBeard declared. "IT IS TOO SOON FOR YOU, CHILD. MAY YOU HAVE MANY SONS WITH MANY BEARDS. MAY YOU TEACH THEM THE POWER OF MY KIND: OUR TERRIFYING OMNISCIENCE AND BENEVOLENCE."

    The EverBeard departed
    And I will remain forever changed, and forever sans-beard...

    Or... will I?

    Signature by rubah. I think.

  9. #204
    Recognized Member Shorty's Avatar
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    Ladies and gentlemen we have just entered BEAST MODE

  10. #205
    Recognized Member Shorty's Avatar
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    Two days left for the remaining contestants to try in one way or another to upstage foa! Or will she come away with the prize...?

  11. #206
    Quack Shlup's Avatar
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    I haven't forgotten! I'll submit something in time!

  12. #207
    ...you hot, salty nut! Recognized Member fire_of_avalon's Avatar
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    The EverBeard saga is probably the best thing I will ever do with my life. If I die any time soon, please tell my family about this so they'll know how to prepare for my eulogy.

    Signature by rubah. I think.

  13. #208

  14. #209
    Eggstreme Wheelie Recognized Member Jiro's Avatar
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    Who is left? Is Mullet still around?

    I regret not taking three hundred photos of my face at the start of the contest to use instead given that most people wouldn't know any different

    They see me rolling. They hating, patrolling.
    Trying to catch me riding dirty.


  15. #210
    Total Sweetheart
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jiro View Post
    Who is left? Is Mullet still around?
    I think for males it's just me and you. Mullet never gave any indication that he quit or shaved, but he didn't post anything last week :/

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