Originally Posted by
shion
This is the speech for MLT Be The Next Cid's Knight. A lot of people look forward to this award, because as we have seen, some of the winners actually end up being CK's. And that brings power over a bunch of Internet forum nerds, and let's face it, that feels good. Because as nerds, that is basically the most power we're going to get.
There are lots of reasons the following nominees deserve the award. But I'm instead going to focus on why they shouldn't win the award.
It's like a toaster, right? Toasters are cool and all, but some toasters only toast the edges of your bread. That is a sucky toaster. LIKE THESE NOMINEES!
No, I'm just joking.
Actually, I'm not. I'm sure a lot of them are sucky at being toasters.
Anyways, here is why you shouldn't intrust the forum power to these members:
Denmark
What would happen if Denmark became a CK? Not much, that's what! I mean, he's kind of lethargic and apathetic when it comes to forum posting. He doesn't like EoFF, so he would probably just delete all of the posts. Which wouldn't be a bad thing except that he wouldn't do that, because he wouldn't care enough. Is that what you want, EoFF? A maybe, maybe not ginger who just doesn't care?
As a toaster: He would be the toaster that doesn't bother to toast anything. You would end up with just a plain piece of bread. It won't even bother to pretend to toast your bread.
Lone Wolf Leonhart
Lone Wold Leonhart left you, remember that? Remember when he left you? I remember. And his screenname. I had to check 5 times to make sure I was spelling it right and putting the spaces at the right places. And that is totally a reflection on him and not on my intelligence.
As a toaster: He would be the toaster that mildly toasts your bread, leaves, comes back, and then finishes your toast after you get home from work and you aren't even in the mood anymore. I mean, I just used the last of my butter cooking dinner, toaster. I don't need you now.
Mr. Shauna
If I remember correctly, Mr. Shauna is just the alternate dimension male Shauna anyways. Or is it her boyfriend? No, the first one seems more likely. Is that what you want, EoFF. Some dimensional foreigner running this place? Next thing you know we will be taken over by gay alien commies who steal all of our jobs while at the same time using up all of the welfare. Lazy foreigners.
As a toaster: That toaster that toasts things that have already been toasted, but somehow also adds in an accent that you can't quite pinpoint.
noxious.sunshine
There's a reason some people started calling her obnoxious sunshine. And it wasn't just because I was telling them too in exchange for free Arby's coupons (PM me). It's because she is obnoxious and not all that sunshiny. All she will do is obnox all over the place, like when cats spray to mark their territory. You think about that. Do you want cat spray on your forum? No, I didn't think so.
As a toaster: That toaster that makes a lot of noise and only toasts one side of your bread.
Quin
The problem with Quin is that I'm never really sure what his screenname is. He changes it up all of the time. That shows a lack of commitment and stability. What is he hiding? Why can't he commit to one name? How does he decide when to change his name? It probably has to do with some weird asian sex ring. Well I for one do not trust those racist asians. And neither for you. Even though he isn't asian, but that is besides the point. Or how even do we know he isn't? I haven't seen any birth certificate. Have you? I rest my case.
As a toaster: He will toast your toast but first he will have sex with it.
Scotty_ffgamer
Why shouldn't scotty be the next CK? Because he's nice. Too nice. Nice guys finish last. I really don't have anything else here.
As a toaster: He will toast your toast to the exact golden colour you need it, but it will take a while and you still won't be happy with it.
ToriJ
I don't know ToriJ. But I assume he is lying. About everything. That is why he shouldn't be a CK. He's a big fat liar and he's probably sleeping with your wife right now. Is that even your real name, ToriJ? Hmm? Really? Or is it TerroristMcHateface?
As a toaster: He will lie to you about your toast being toasted and then when you realize it, he will have taken your job.
Vivi22
He was already a CK. How did that go? Yeah, exactly.
As a toaster: He will toast your toast while getting in to political debates with the friends you have over for dinner.
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