So now it’s time for the forum degenerates. Whether it’s from years of alcohol abuse, sexual ineptitude, a lack of some enzyme inhibiting the higher social functions of the brain, or maybe just a low blood sugar, we’ve been wowed by their feats of jack-assery, and blatant disregard for common decency. Yes with the moral fiber equivalent of single-ply toilet paper, and no shame, they all deserve a mention. But are they simply misdemeanants or true felons? Let’s take a look at the perps.
Cuchulainn:
AKA: “Wee Bastard”
Crimes: Genral Hooliganism, and public drunkenness. When he’s not busy torturing his liver, he’s busy torturing us with his half-assed trolling. Perhaps the mods find him a nuisance, but a night in the drunk tank is enough to take the edge off of this one. He’s no felon.
DK:
AKA: “Probable Cause”
Crimes: DK? What’s this poor guy ever done? He seems pretty nice to me. The best I can come up with is that he’s black. Sadly, that’s probably enough to get him death row. I’m surprised the mods haven’t pepper sprayed him, and planted drugs in his car.
Iceglow:
AKA: “Poop Stain”
Crimes: This guy. Holy bejeebus. His crimes are numerous. The Grammer Gestapo wants his head, and so do the Fashion Police. We’ve all heard his stories about the ladies, and even if they’re half true, all those women deserve justice. Maybe flaccid isn’t a felony, but it probably shoud be. Still, he’ll never be a king pin, just another pawn. A few years surrounded by four walls (of his own inane blathering text about God knows what) should be a good punishment.
Psychotic:
AKA: “Mr. Walrus”
Crimes: Now we come to our inside man. Breaking the rules from a young age, so he could worm his way into the system and corrupt it from the inside. How do you corrupt something already so full of scum and villainy? It takes a twisted, black heart of a devious walrus, my friends. The twisted, bristly mustachioed, fish devouring, black heart. While he taunts us from his position of power, we know he remains untouchable. The best we can hope for is that one day a well placed sniper can end his reign of terror.
TonyUK:
AKA: “????”
Crimes: On November, 24, 1971, an unidentified man hijacked a Boeing 727 en route between Portland, Oregon, and Seattle, Washington. Claiming to have a bomb, he demanded and eventually obtained a 200,000 dollar ransom and two parachutes from the FBI. After obtaining the money and refueling, the place was ordered back in the air and flown towards Reno, Nevada. At approximately 8:13 pm, it is believed the unknown man exited the rear of the plane, and parachuted down somewhere in the southernmost area of Mount St.Helens.
Mods, I believe TonyUK is that man, making him one of the most wanted men in FBI history, and easily deserving of the 5 Star wanted level. Arrest him!