As I just said to Sarah:

Shut up, just because I'm sitting in my 100 year old heritage apartment, eating vegan food and drinking craft microbrew cider from a local brewery, looking all fine with my tattoo and vintage dress and fedora and pixie haircut and oversized men's glasses and vegan makeup, playing my ukulele while on break from my part-time job and freelance music journalism and thinking about writing my memoirs DOESN'T MEAN I'M A HIPSTER.

I don't have a fixie