ToriJ plays FINAL FANTASY VIII!

[Ayen]

We escaped and those jerks fired missiles at Trabia Garden, Selphie's old school. We split up into two teams, one to go to the missile base to stop the missiles set to launch for Balamb and the other to warn Balamb of the missiles. I took Zell and Rinoa while Selphie went off with Irvine and Quistis. I love scenes where you get to disguise as the enemy soldier, they're so fun. The infiltration was a complete success until Selphie botched a salute. FIGHT!

They won the day and set the base to explode in 40 minutes! What? I like to give myself plenty of time. The soldiers tried to stop them with a giant machine but it was no match for my GF, yo. Problem was they were trapped inside the base. Come on, now, guys, you're not gonna--

*base explodes with them inside it*

O_O

Meanwhile over in Balamb EVERYONE IS LOSING THEIR MINDS! It was split in two with people choosing the side of Master NORG and Headmaster Cid. I pretended to be on NORG's side just so I could find the Headmaster, until they threatened some kids, man! I wasn't having any of that! I fought a T-Rex! *plays the dragon sword* That didn't end well... FOR THE T-REX!

So, Cid was hiding out in his office all along. The sneaky rascal. We told him about the missiles and he told us about a plan to save Garden. I went down some ladders... some? More like a butt load of ladders and -- and -- IT CAN FLY! THE GARDEN CAN FLY! We're saved! Ooh, Rinoa's pretty. Never noticed that before. ...I think I'm falling in love, or I have some pent up gas, either one.

We almost hit Balamb on the way out (the town, not the garden) but with the trusty touch of random buttons against my fingers we managed to avoid it and drift out at sea. Rinoa wanted me to show her around, kay. Now one of those guys in the Raiden style hat wants me to see Master NORG. Kay.

OH MY GOD IT'S JABBA THE HUT!

This guy is fat, like fatter than the king of the seven realms in the first season of GoT fat. He was having a fight with Cid and he wanted to serve our heads to the Sorceress so she wouldn't destroy Garden. Apparently that sneaky general used us, Balamb had no part in the ordered attack on the Sorceress. And why would they? The Sorceress... IS CID'S WIFE! DUN! DUN! DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

Too many bombshells, man. I-I need to lie down.

[Shorty]

I dislike the word Trabia because it reminds me of labia.

Ahahahaha I've always thought of him as Jabba the Hut as well xD

[Mirage]

Nothing wrong with labias, man

[Ayen]

I'm Han Solo, and this is STAR WARS! And we're in Return of the Jedi and I'm missing the best scene in the whole movie due to my blindness, and I'm the only one whose career survives the Ewoks bringing down the Galactic Empire making more Indiana Jones and being in the movie adaption of a book that readers hated and others didn't see because it was written by a bigot.

[Scotty_ffgamer]

"Are you with NORG or Cid?"

"NORG? I've never heard of this guy claiming to be the master of this garden. I'm going to choose to be on his side and try to brutally murder my classmates. Why not?"

Also, I love the missile base part. It's very amusing. You've got the weird music, the dancing soldiers in the computer, all the incompetent lazy people, Selphie being Selphie. Good times.

[Ayen]

Look, this missile has an error ratio that can be set to increase the chances of a miss! WHO DESIGNED THIS TROUT!?

I'm going to see the Headmaster to see what is up

[Carl the Llama]

This thread has finally gotten me in the mood to play my steam copy of the game ^^

[Ayen]

You DO NOT insult Moombas. It may very well be the last thing you do

Guys, I think I may have grew up in an orphanage with all my friends and then forgot about it.

Man, a lot has happened since my last post. Let's see, where to begin... oh we crashed into Fishermans Horizon! This one guy was trying to get this one fish while we were incoming but he just went 'forget it' and ran off. We were sent to apologize to the mayor, they wanted us to leave. Then Galbadia soldiers came and they were all liek, "We're going to burn down this city!" And the mayor was like, "NO! PLEASE! NO!" And the soldier was all, "MUHAHAHAHAHA!" then I was all, "SMURF YOU!" And he was all, "NUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!" Then this big machine came and it had Team B inside it! YAY REUNION!

We all went back to the Garden where Fishermans Horizon workers patched it up and gave us easier controls to pilot the thing. Cid promoted me to leader of everything. WHUT!? "It is your destiny, ToriJ." I'M SEVENTEEN! "Doesn't matter." ANGST!

So, everyone else prepares a band in town to congratulate me and Rinoa put on her only dress in the whole game. That was nice, I enjoyed that part. The band was terrible, though. Rinoa got upset when I wouldn't open up and ran off. Ain't getting any sugar tonight. ANGST!!

We went back to Balamb to find the place occupied by Galbadia troops. Man, what do they have against port cities? Oh, that's right they're looking for Ellone who took off on her ship. Yeah, the little girl in my last dream was the woman who visited me when I was passed out cold at the start of the game AND the reason I keep dreaming about Laguna via traveling to the past. DUN! DUN! DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

We made it into Balamb saying we had info on Ellone and went to see the commander, but they wouldn't let us in. Speaking of commanders, I'm a commander now at Garden. Commander ToriJ, I like it. Has a nice ring to it. Anyway, we played WHERE ON BALAMB IS THE CAPTAIN!? Train. The captain and commander turned out to be Raijin and Fujin, Seifer's posse. Tornado? Witch, please, I'm from Kansas! Adamantium

Fujin: RAGE!

Adamantium

Fujin: RAGE!

Haha, no we're having a good time.

After defeating them and chasing the military out of the city Selphie wanted to visit her old Garden, so we did just that and on the basketball court found out that everyone except Rinoa used to live in the same orphanage.

Irvine: Yeah, I was bummed because I was the only one who remembered.

Why didn't you tell us sooner?

Irvine: You didn't remember.

But you told us now and we DID remember!

Irvine: Yeah, I was really bummed before.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *gets hold back by the rest of the group*

Not only did we all grow up in the same orphanage and forget about it because GF mess with our memories, saw a bit of foreshadowing of that at my desk at the beginning too, but Ellone and Sorceress Edea were the ones that took care of us and now Edea is after Ellone. WTF is going on? Not happy with the past? Want to go back to the past? Change the past? I need a doctor. So now we're on our way to Edea house, wherever that is. I'm going to take some detours at the Shumi village and perhaps Winhill first. Who knows. Looks like the Shumi here may know a thing or two about Laguna. They only have a STATUE of him and call him master, so who knows. Shumi evolve into Moombas, interesting... I think this is also the species that Master NORG belongs to. They look similar enough. I guess if darkness and greed is in their heart they become bigger and need to be carried around. Yikes!

Ellone: Help me, ToriJ. You're my only hope.
*sighs* Stop ripping off Star Wars!

[Botchmun]

Made me giggle, Teehee.

[Karifean]

Look, this missile has an error ratio that can be set to increase the chances of a miss! WHO DESIGNED THIS TROUT!?

That's a thing though.

Anyways, upcoming Garden Battle is one of the best parts of the game IMO.

[Ayen]

It is? I'd be.

Anyways, upcoming Garden Battle is one of the best parts of the game IMO.

Agreed. I'm on that part now. Second floor classroom to protect the junior classmates from the only green Galbadia troops I've seen all game. I also finished the Shumi side-quest and got a Phoenix Pinion after the elder showed me his hand. I think I seriously messed up on the Windhill side-quest because I went into all the houses before the mansion and it wouldn't let me inspect the suit of armor or the flower where Raine used to work. Oh well.

Apparently four orders is one order too many.

[Karifean]

I think you need to have Irvine or Quistis in the party to be able to do the Winhill sidequest properly. Don't forget to do the 2nd part of the Shumi sidequest.

I've never ever gotten perfect on the orders. At least I have an idea of which are the right orders now.

[Ayen]

The hell? How was I supposed to figure that out?

There's a second part to the Shumi side-quest?

[Scotty_ffgamer]

That poor guy and his fish. I bet he had caught a really big one too, something to tell his grandchildren about. Then Garden had to crash into town and ruin everything.

Fujin: RAGE!

Squall: ANGST!

Fujin: RAGE!

Squall: ANGST!

Raijin: Please stop, ya know?

[Ayen]

I hate Seifer so smurfing much. Thank God for Phoenix Pinion and Full Life.

Oh, trout, Sorceress Edea is next. Smurf me.