Annoying Advice

[Slothy]

New mom's got this topic on lock.

"Your baby doesn't need to get vaccinated against deadly diseases because 'chemicals' are icky."

"You should make your baby 'sleep' in her crib instead of with immediate tit access because smurf your happiness and wellbeing."

"Get her Baby Einstein! Plopping a six-month-old in front of the TV is a great way for them to learn!"

"This toy with seventeen buttons, eleventy flashing lights, and two unbearably enthusiastic phrases is the only smurfing way to teach her cause-and-effect!"

"She's teething. You should do something about that."

"No teeth after four months of me saying over and over that she must be teething? Nope, I'm still smurfing sure she's teething."

"How come you never put bows and flowers and trout on her head? How else are people supposed to know she has a vagina? THE PEOPLE MUST KNOW."

"You need to put her on her tummy more. Her cries of terror and anguish mean she's learning!"

"Don't respond to her cries so quickly! It will somehow help her lungs. smurf her emotional development!"

"Don't hold her too much! Letting her know you love her will make her spoiled."

Though I'm pretty sure she's actually teething now because she's been chewing and acting like a little bitch for the last three days.

I'm no parent, nor is my dislike of children something which is well hidden, but even I'm going "what the smurf" at those.

I assumed we were talking door-to-door businesses, not places of residence.

That's what I meant.

[Pumpkin]

New mom's got this topic on lock.

"Your baby doesn't need to get vaccinated against deadly diseases because 'chemicals' are icky."

"You should make your baby 'sleep' in her crib instead of with immediate tit access because smurf your happiness and wellbeing."

"Get her Baby Einstein! Plopping a six-month-old in front of the TV is a great way for them to learn!"

"This toy with seventeen buttons, eleventy flashing lights, and two unbearably enthusiastic phrases is the only smurfing way to teach her cause-and-effect!"

"She's teething. You should do something about that."

"No teeth after four months of me saying over and over that she must be teething? Nope, I'm still smurfing sure she's teething."

"How come you never put bows and flowers and trout on her head? How else are people supposed to know she has a vagina? THE PEOPLE MUST KNOW."

"You need to put her on her tummy more. Her cries of terror and anguish mean she's learning!"

"Don't respond to her cries so quickly! It will somehow help her lungs. smurf her emotional development!"

"Don't hold her too much! Letting her know you love her will make her spoiled."

Though I'm pretty sure she's actually teething now because she's been chewing and acting like a little bitch for the last three days.

Yeah I don't know why people feel the need to do this, unless you ask for advice specifically.

What works for one person's child doesn't work for others. My son loved tummy time for example. I let him sleep with me in the bed and now he has his own bed and he's doing just fine.

You know your baby better than anyone is what I'm trying to say. They can all shut their mouths.

[Black Magic Shopkeeper]

"You ought to at least have a boyfriend at your ag-"
NO.

[Ayen]

"If you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all."

My response:

silenthillhead.png

[Shlup]

Yeah, it's 2014. Have people really not figured out that new moms don't want advice (and if they do, they'll ask for it)?

It never ends. Both times we were discussing her doctor's visits and BJ and I mentioned she got a flu shot, someone (BJ's mom and then my dad) said something about putting so many chemicals in a baby... Twenty people have died this year from influenza, one in the county I live in, and I work at Disneyland, which is basically germtopia. She got a small injection of chemicals and then got over it. You know what would be harder for her to get over? Influenza. Jackasses.

NOW THIS THREAD HAS SET ME OFF.

[Yar]

"Smoking is bad for you."

"Maybe you shouldn't drink tonight."

smurf you.

[Bubba]

"A problem shared is a problem halved"

If I'm honest, it's probably doubled now I'm on the sex offenders register.

[Slothy]

"A problem shared is a problem halved"

If I'm honest, it's probably doubled now I'm on the sex offenders register.

Wha!

[Bubba]

I'm not really, it was just a joke in very poor taste.

Unfortunately, it's unlikely to be my last.

[Slothy]

Thank god. You worried me there.

[Sephex]

"If someone is bullying you, just ignore them and walk away."

I always had a huge problem with this advice because:

1.) You can't leave school grounds or, in most cases, the immediate area where you are being bullied. I guess I am just supposed to walk out of class out of nowhere? Yeah, schools love that.

2.) I did try that in a setting where there weren't authority figures around. I was rewarded with a free shot to the back of my head.

3.) Despite what out of touch guidance counselors will tell you, doing NOTHING shows the bully that they can get away with walking all over you. Actions speak louder than words.