Oh my god

1) Any time someone asks me to "say something" in my "accent"

2) Any time someone asks me totally bizarre and exoticized questions like "What kind of crops do you grow in your country?", "What is it like in your small country?", "What kinds of food do they eat there?" or even "Does everyone walk like you in your country?"

3) Any time someone asks me "So what are you?" or "What tribe are you from?"

4) When someone asks where I am from and after I reply they say "Oh! I know someone from/have been to/my family has been to Australia!", or "OH MAN I LOVE LOTR!" or "OMG I love Flight of the Conchords!"

5) Any time someone from back home says "You sound American now"

6) When people who read my writing complain about my using "foreign words"

7) Basically any time people at my workplace act like it's superior and cutting edge simply for being American, when they are actually streets behind developments I helped implement at my former workplace seven years ago

8) Any time someone acts like their taste in or consumption of media somehow correlates to how good a person they are

9) Any time someone berates someone else for not having encountered some kind of media before - sorry, I just haven't had time to read every book and watch every film ever made

10) People who like to bore the rest of us with constant updates about what they are eating or how much they are exercising. I just brushed my teeth and took my vitamins, do you want me to instagram that, too?

It's Monday. I'm pissed off. Look out, idiots.