I thought my dad was Indiana Jones.

I thought the Easter Bunny was a massive, giant, towering pink bunny and it confused the hell out of me how he was able to get into our house and backyard and sleuthily hide eggs in the most secret of places with so much care if he was a gigantic beast of a rabbit. It also confused me how he was able to get around our neighorhood without smashing cars or knocking trees over or leaving giant footprints. (Later when I began playing Silent Hill, it freaked me out how much the rabbits in the third game looked like miniature versions of my imaginary easter bunny and also the fact that they were all lifeless and dead and bloody.)

On the subject of footprints, whenever we were in a sandy or muddy area, I always looked for dinosaur footprints. I don't know why I did this.

I accidentally swallowed a cherry pit once and I became mortified that a cherry tree would begin to sprout in my stomach and grow and that eventually I would become a tree person. I worried about this for months after it happened and it would keep me up at night.