Wait wut. I don't understand how a dog poos on your head?! Why was your head even near it's butt?

Some of these are mean. Like the one by Brooke -- she sounds like a brat -- but many of the others are just clever and honest with a dash of naivety.

Sounds like a note I'd leave while lurking around in my white house robe. Requiescat en pace

hahahaha