Wow, this is all so personal. It really sounds like you had a tough life, shion I hope everything ultimately turns out for the best and I'm glad these characters have you comfort.

While I've never really had a bad life, and I first played IX when I was almost in uni, there are two characters in FFIX whose stories I find inspiring.

Freya: she loses practically everything. Her hometown is ruined, and the reward she later receives is horribly ironic - she gets back the love of her life, but he remembers nothing. I'm so disappointed that the writers did not delve deeper into her story, but it was really inspiring to see her near the end, working, against all odds, to get back the most precious thing she had and rebuild her relationship with Fratley step by step. Even though she knew it would not be the same, as his memories would probably never return, trying to build a new future for the two of them seemed really uplifting for them. It made me think that even if everything seems hopeless, everything you know is in shambles, there is always a ray of Hope and that little ray of Hope is enough to make a difference. To make it possible for you to be happy again.

Vivi: he represents all the fears I think everyone experience at one point. Do I really exist? Does it really matter? Vivi shows us that regardless of the purpose we were created for, if there even is one, we can be happy by living our lives to the fullest. Vivi's life was extremely short, but it was enough to learn to be happy, even though he knew his fate was sealed. And there's also the fact that he was forever remembered by his friends and somehow managed to leave some kids behind