Superman does good, you doing well. You need to study your grammar, son.
Superman does good, you doing well. You need to study your grammar, son.
This is why I hated my first two weeks at the Royal Tampa Academy of Dramatic Tricks: No one knew who was the sluttiest. But I showed them. Oh, I showed them all.
I was working late on my Haftorah
when I heard a knock on my bedroom-doorah
I opened it up and to my surprise
there was a werewolf standing there with glowing gold eyes
he says tomorrow my son you will be a man
but tonight's the time to join the wolfen clan
tomorrow you will stand at the bimah and pray
but tonight let's gaze at the moon and bay
Werewolf bar mitzvah
Spooky scary
Boys becoming men
Men becoming wolves
The next day what happened, the Talmud didn't teach
I got up in front of everyone to give my little speech
then my teeth turned into fangs and my nails into claws
and I nearly dropped the Torah when my hands turned into paws
I growled and I roared and my rabbi did as well
it was a rocking werewolf zoo at Temple Beth-Emmanuel
Werewolf bar mitzvah
Spooky scary
Boys becoming men
Men becoming wolves
We had a reception at the Larchmont Country Club
they served a real nice brisket and an eight foot party sub
I danced with my cousins, I got money from my folks
we had a lot of fun making circumcision jokes
then I remembered the premise of my song
I was at a nice reception but the werewolf part was gone
so we pulled ourselves together and we're wolfmen again
just in time for monster fight to begin
all the country club employees were brainsucking pack
who had all turned into zombies and were on the attack
so we fought them and some draculas and frankensteins too
cause you gotta love bar mitzvah, even if you're not a-Arooo
"Dr. Spaceman, when they check my DNA, will it tell me what diseases I might get, or help me to remember my ATM PIN code?"
"Absolutely. Science is whatever we want it to be."
Not my words Carol, the words of Top Gear magazine.
If I won an Oscar, everyone would have to respect me. My obituary will read "Oscar-winner" instead of "children's soccer heckler"!
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"Like a waitress!"
We Parcells have eaten our share of rock soup and squirrel tail, but we've also known lean times.
Kefka's coming, look intimidating!
Have a nice day!!
You know how pissed off I was when Us Weekly said that I was on crack? That's racist! I'm not on crack. I'm straight-up mentally ill!
I've never been so disrespected in my life, and I've gone to and worked at the post office
Kefka's coming, look intimidating!
Have a nice day!!
Boy, it’s crazy to think we used to settle questions of paternity by dunking a woman in water until she admitted she made it all up. Different time, the ’60s.
Not a quote as such, but I've always been a fan of Tracey's 'Impeach George W. Ashington' from the Boston episode.
Not my words Carol, the words of Top Gear magazine.