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Thread: 30 Rock Quotes Thread

  1. #61
    Tracy Jordan's Avatar
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    Superman does good, you doing well. You need to study your grammar, son.

  2. #62
    pirate heartbreaker The Man's Avatar
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    :monster:

    This is why I hated my first two weeks at the Royal Tampa Academy of Dramatic Tricks: No one knew who was the sluttiest. But I showed them. Oh, I showed them all.
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  3. #63
    Tracy Jordan's Avatar
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    I was working late on my Haftorah
    when I heard a knock on my bedroom-doorah
    I opened it up and to my surprise
    there was a werewolf standing there with glowing gold eyes
    he says tomorrow my son you will be a man
    but tonight's the time to join the wolfen clan
    tomorrow you will stand at the bimah and pray
    but tonight let's gaze at the moon and bay

    Werewolf bar mitzvah
    Spooky scary
    Boys becoming men
    Men becoming wolves

    The next day what happened, the Talmud didn't teach
    I got up in front of everyone to give my little speech
    then my teeth turned into fangs and my nails into claws
    and I nearly dropped the Torah when my hands turned into paws
    I growled and I roared and my rabbi did as well
    it was a rocking werewolf zoo at Temple Beth-Emmanuel

    Werewolf bar mitzvah
    Spooky scary
    Boys becoming men
    Men becoming wolves

    We had a reception at the Larchmont Country Club
    they served a real nice brisket and an eight foot party sub
    I danced with my cousins, I got money from my folks
    we had a lot of fun making circumcision jokes
    then I remembered the premise of my song
    I was at a nice reception but the werewolf part was gone
    so we pulled ourselves together and we're wolfmen again
    just in time for monster fight to begin
    all the country club employees were brainsucking pack
    who had all turned into zombies and were on the attack
    so we fought them and some draculas and frankensteins too
    cause you gotta love bar mitzvah, even if you're not a-Arooo

  4. #64
    Back of the net Recognized Member Heath's Avatar
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    "Dr. Spaceman, when they check my DNA, will it tell me what diseases I might get, or help me to remember my ATM PIN code?"
    "Absolutely. Science is whatever we want it to be."
    Not my words Carol, the words of Top Gear magazine.

  5. #65
    Jinx's Avatar
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    Look, Jack, I don't have a lot of personal life experience, but if I've learned anything from my Sims family...when a child doesn't see his father enough, he starts to jump up and down, and then his mood level will drop until he pees himself.
    Quote Originally Posted by Fynn View Post
    Jinx you are absolutely smurfing insane. Never change.

  6. #66
    pirate heartbreaker The Man's Avatar
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    :monster:

    If I won an Oscar, everyone would have to respect me. My obituary will read "Oscar-winner" instead of "children's soccer heckler"!
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  7. #67
    Jinx's Avatar
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    tumblr_l5gvk0JQQz1qajs00.gif

    "Like a waitress!"
    Quote Originally Posted by Fynn View Post
    Jinx you are absolutely smurfing insane. Never change.

  8. #68
    Jinx's Avatar
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    You know, it's funny. If those teeth were in your vagina, you'd be considered a monster.
    Quote Originally Posted by Fynn View Post
    Jinx you are absolutely smurfing insane. Never change.

  9. #69
    That's me! blackmage_nuke's Avatar
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    We Parcells have eaten our share of rock soup and squirrel tail, but we've also known lean times.
    Kefka's coming, look intimidating!
    Have a nice day!!

  10. #70
    pirate heartbreaker The Man's Avatar
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    :monster:

    You know how pissed off I was when Us Weekly said that I was on crack? That's racist! I'm not on crack. I'm straight-up mentally ill!
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  11. #71
    That's me! blackmage_nuke's Avatar
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    I've never been so disrespected in my life, and I've gone to and worked at the post office
    Kefka's coming, look intimidating!
    Have a nice day!!

  12. #72
    pirate heartbreaker The Man's Avatar
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    :monster:

    Boy, it’s crazy to think we used to settle questions of paternity by dunking a woman in water until she admitted she made it all up. Different time, the ’60s.
    Don't delay, add The Pimp today! Don't delay, add The Pimp today!
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  13. #73
    Back of the net Recognized Member Heath's Avatar
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    Not a quote as such, but I've always been a fan of Tracey's 'Impeach George W. Ashington' from the Boston episode.
    Not my words Carol, the words of Top Gear magazine.

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